I told my best friend, Cassidy, about "my problem."
I don't know what I was expecting. Shock? Horror? Awkwardness? Some distance in the friendship? Not being able to look each other in the eye?
Maybe.
I did tell her over texting. We were already having a serious conversation though, so it wasn't like I was randomly dropping a bomb on things.
I typed it out. It wasn't that long. Maybe two texts.
As I prepared to hit Send, my heart chilled out. It stopped beating so hard. A wave of peace swept over me, and when I sent the text, the gravity of the situation evaporated. I might as well have been telling her that I was going to have chicken for dinner.
Her reaction?
Total acceptance. Understanding. Zero judgement.
o_o Wow.
Nothing about our relationship changed. If anything, our connection is stronger and more open. But there was no shock. No horror. No awkwardness. No distance. No avoidance of eye contact.
Telling her was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I feel less like a fake. I feel...just more real :)
This is what having a best friend is supposed to be like. I've never had a friend like Cassidy in my whole life. I'd go into obnoxious detail about us, but I'm already planning to do that in a whole separate post sometime XD So I'll save it.
But yeah :) Another step in the right direction.
In your face, Satan.
~Stephanie
I smiled really big at the end there Stephanie, nice going :) You are a huge encouragement to me :D
ReplyDeletei'm really happy for you girl =) you found a really great friend, you're really lucky. or, better, god made this happen, and it's fantastic =)
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you! That's a HUGE step. I've gone through it as well, when I've told a couple close friends about my own cutting problem. It feels so much better once it's out there, doesn't it? My next step is to tell my brother and parents, which won't be easy.
ReplyDeleteI feel so honored that you trusted me enough, really I do. I thought I knew what having a best friend as like until I met you lol I thought I had had a best friend relationship before but what we have is so much more than I ever thought possible. I am so in awe of how connected and open I feel with you. I feel so lucky and blessed to be able to call you my best friend :) <3
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling. I'm happy for you :). Everyone needs someone to talk to .. to completely trust :)
ReplyDeleteLove always,
Alana
Jay: That's one of the best compliments ever :) I'm so glad.
ReplyDeleteValentina: Right? She's awesome. I think it was definitely a God thing; I found out just this week that my dad had been praying for me to find a friend to share my heart with. The Holy Spirit is always on the move :)
Lauren: It's so liberating, right? My mom knows about my problem, but not my sister or dad. I wish you the best of luck talking to your family :)
Cass: :) Same. Saaaaaaame. Same.
Alana: I think I agree :)
~Stephanie