The Evolution of a Stephanie

So, the other day I was...

Actually wait. How DID I get this idea?

I can't remember. But I got to thinking about what a strange, dysfunctional little kid I was. I had the best family life ever and great friends, so I should have been fine, but holy mother of cows. I think back to my eleven-year-old self and wonder how in God's name I had any friends at all.

But then I was like, "Well, maybe you weren't as bad as you think." So that got me curious, and ended in me rummaging through my chest of journals when I should have been doing history research. I found this almost-ugly brown flowered journal that I used from 2004-2007 and started reading. And guess what?

I was every bit as bad as I feared.

I wanted a goat named Steve and wrote several heart-wrenching entries about how "I WOULD SO FIND MY STEVE ONE DAY!"

I cried into my dog's fur for an hour when our news anchor died. Guys, imagine what I would have been like if something legitimately tragic had happened to me?

I panicked because I had to drink caffeinated Coca-Cola at 4pm for a girl's science fair project. "If I get cafine that late in the afternoon it'll keep me up all night and that would be bad 'cause the next day is church and I'll be awfully tired! I HATE being up at night!!!! Esp. from cafine! :((((((((((((" Take. A. Chill. Pill.

I had a headache once, and told my journal I wished I were dead.

I also had funny ideas about being grown-up and "normal." When Sarah finally started taking showers {as opposed to baths}, I wrote "It's so cool because we can fight over it {the bathroom} like in the movies!"

However, my thoughts on dating were remarkably well-adjusted for an eleven-year-old. "Tyler B and Megan are in 'love.' Tyler keeps giving her tons of presents. Yesterday it was 2 bucks, a little toy puppy, one of his bracelets and something else I don't remember what. I think he's going to go broke on her and then she's gonna dump him."

And I thought my being cynical was a recent development XD

Even when I got asked out for the first time, I managed to keep my head on relatively straight.

"Oh yeah! Stephanie {last name}, aged 11 years was asked out by Ian T. {last name} on Jan 9, 2006 at home-school during a war!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! {We played war. It was actually rather epic.} I'm not allowed to date yet, though. I'm sort of glad. I got REALLY nervous when he asked me. I could tell he was, too. I told him that I liked him a lot, but I wasn't ready for a relationship yet. He's SO NOT my type, Journal. Something about him is just so sirious! I mean, he does joke, but, somehow he's always sirious. I don't think I could spent the rest of my life with someone like that."

Well played, sixth-grade-Steph. Well played.

But then it all went down hill when I fell in love with this guy named Sam {not the Sam that comments here}. It hit me on July 21, 2006 when I was twelve and launched me into emotional turmoil until I was about sixteen. I only wish I were kidding, guys.

But we all know that what went downhill eventually came back up :) I've reconciled my life without Steve the Goat, can hold it together when a news anchor passes on and simply take ibuprofen for headaches instead of praying for death. As for dating, I remain cynical and clueless, but somehow that doesn't seem to be stopping me.

Life's a funny thing. Remember it.

~Stephanie