A Cruddy End-of-Year Post Because I'm Better at Saying Hello Than Goodbye

This time last year, I was dealing with a lot of uncertainty. I knew that a lot of things would be revealed and decided and changed in twenty-twelve. I would get replies from colleges I applied to and eventually start college. I would get a license and a job and, to my surprise, a boyfriend.

However, in a very un-Stephanie manner, I wasn't nervous about all the impending change. I was confident content, not the least bit intimidated or unhappy. Although the actual arrival of 2012 was one of the least exciting ever (sitting on the couch downstairs, alone and brushing my teeth as the ball dropped), I don't remember it badly. It was just an unremarkable beginning to a pretty cool year.

For a fleeting moment, I was scared and wanted to cling to 2011, but I threw off the feeling and leapt into the new year on purpose.

Unfortunately, I did not keep any of my New Year’s Resolutions for 2012. That’s a little disappointing, but it was a good year anyway. I’m eagerly looking forward to twenty-thirteen now, but first, a quick (ish) look back at twenty-twelve…

I got my second piercing, and a licence. I was in my first car accident, and went to my first dance competition. I went to my first non-Christian concert {about time, right?} and stayed up for twenty-four hours straight. I got my first boyfriend, and had my first kiss.

My first text was from Aaron, who said “Shush, future-girl,” because I’d just wished him a Happy New Year and his time zone is behind mine.

I liked Sleeping Beauty a lot, but I have a few interesting questions about it. How could Aurora dream of a guy when she’d probably never seen a male before? Wouldn’t THAT be a shock to the system. How come the fairies never considered that when putting the whole kingdom to sleep, they might also be putting Aurora’s truelove and only hope to sleep as well? Prince Philip loses the Shield of Virtue and the Sword of Truth while fighting Maleficent. IS that to say that you lose virtue and truth in your quest to fall in love? Or that when you fall in love, you don’t need them anymore?

The first color I painted my nails was gun metal, and the first thing I bought was a McDonald’s hot fudge sundae.

I’m at Caribou Coffee and I just made a condensation puddle on the table into the Playboy bunny.

The first time I saw Sam was at the Super Bowl Party on February 5^th, and he was also my first crush, “I suppose.”

It was weird being there. Not scary, honestly not even uncomfortable, just weird. People that would have made me duck down in my car three years ago all looked like potentially nice individuals to me now. I’m sure I LOOKED more out of place than I FELT.

I’m sad to say that I only read seventeen books in 2012. My undisputed favorite of the year was “The Great Gatsby.” What a fantastic book. I enjoyed Fitzgerald’s talking about nothing more than I enjoy almost any other author talking about something. He’s a genius.

Fuuuuuck. There’s no escape, is there? He will always be part of my life. I will never get rid of him. And I’ll never really try.

I cried sixteen times.

Relationships:  6

Anger:  3

Stress {includes college decisions}:  5

Homesickness: 4

{The numbers in the categories add up to more than sixteen because some episodes involved more than one emotion XD}

He looked mildly panicked and said, “No, I don’t remember. Asking me to remember things is like ‘Hey, Stephanie. Spell this.’” Point taken.

I had forty-four remarkable “Personal Events,” which include:

Watching one of my best friends get married

Dating to date Sam

Shooting a gun for the first time

Getting my license

Getting my second piercing

Being in a car wreck

Saturday was PC’s graduation in the morning, and mine in the evening. I was about four times more nervous about his XD Finding the church, his liking the present, finding his family, meeting his extended family, making Sophie continue to like me, navigating the afterwards, looking good…gah XD I was an internal wreck that morning.

I made thirty new friends.

I saw fifty-seven new movies. The highest rated in my opinion were Walk the Line, Gladiator, 21 Jump Street, The Avengers, Horrible Bosses, An Affair to Remember and The Dark Knight Rises.

Of all the years I’ve lived, this one went by the fastest. I guess that’s normal. Time is supposed to go by faster as you get older. Well, it does.

2012 was totally different from anything I expected. As usual, I don’t feel as old or prepared to handle things as I figured I would. But this year was really good. It was a growing year. An adjusting year. I have by NO MEANS figured out how to navigate life, but I haven’t crashed into an iceberg yet either.

{Of course, I didn’t have math this past semester XD}

Twenty-thirteen has a neat sound. I like odd numbers. I like thirteen. I like that it’s a teen. It sounds quirky and complicated. It sounds radical and serious. It sounds like a year to be me.

Twenty-twelve, it’s been incredible. Absolutely wild and wonderful. I’ll always remember you.

But Twenty-thirteen...

Let's do this.

~ Stephanie