{First of all, I would like to brag on the fact that I spelled that French phrase without Googling it. That's probably the first time ever that I've spelled anything French without butchering it almost beyond recognition.}
"I regret little, I would change still less." ~ Browning
I dreamed the other night that Sam posted a comment on Peripeteia saying, "So what DO you regret?"
I woke up pensive in the best way. What DO I regret? I realized that of the things I consider regretting, I would, as Browning put it, "change still less."
The things I've done make me who I am, and prepare me for who I'll need to be. I've been very lucky; God has allowed me to see the payoff of many of my unfortunate experiences and choices.
If I hadn't fallen into erotica, I wouldn't be able to understand and support one of the most important people in my life.
If I hadn't dealt with a violation of trust myself, my roommate would not have taken my advice to her as seriously as she did.
If God had given me the older brother I'd always wanted, I wouldn't have become so close to Aaron, Jordan, Daniel, and David. {I wouldn't trade those relationships for a "real" older brother, and I'm just started to realize that.}
If I had applied to Wake Forest in time, I wouldn't be at Campbell, which has been good for me in more ways than I could have imagined.
Do I wish regret any of those things? In a way, I suppose I do. But would I change them?
No.
Actually, all the things that I regret and WOULD change are things I DIDN'T do--and wish I had. I think I'm going to live more dangerously, take more risks. I'm going to ask more questions, speak more freely, be generally less afraid, and--above all else--listen to God sooner.
As twisted as it might sound, most of the bad things in my life have set the stage for a lot of good things. It's not that I think making bad choices is excusable just because God can work them out, but...I don't know.
Everyone has some regrets. Everyone has a few things he'd change about his life. And guess what? Such IS life. Life consists almost entirely of making mistakes, learning from them, and living your life to the best of your ever-evolving current ability.
I think a healthy life is one about which you can say, "I regret little, I would change still less." If you can't say that, maybe it's time to change your life strategy.
~Stephanie
Uh... of course this didn't make me cry....what are you talking about....
ReplyDeleteOkay, I think I'm probably a bit emotional today, but for real, this really hit a nerve with me. Like in a good way. From conversations we've had, I'm sure you probably realize I completely agree with you here.
Do I have regrets in my life? of course. Would I go back and change things? Never. I am who I am because of everything I've done.
Beautiful Stephanie.
it's not so crazy that the bad things set the stage for the good things, you know. All things work together for His good, and in His timing too.
ReplyDeletei love this post though...so much! you are so very wise, my friend. :)
"Actually, all the things that I regret and WOULD change are things I DIDN'T do--and wish I had." I know this feeling...
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