Run of the MIL

I LOVE Gem's family. A ton. They're the big family I always wanted and never had.

But let me just say, it's a good thing I'm not easily offended. And while I'm not easily offended, I'd like to share some things with you, because they're just too good/bad/funny/whatever.

Things My Mother-in-Law Has Said Since Sunday
- "Is there any room in your fridge for this?" *holds up something she had in the cooler; opens fridge* "Oh wow. Yeah. You guys have like nothing in your fridge." In my defense, the next day was grocery day. I promise I feed your son. (It's even more sad because just the other day Gem and I were talking about how our fridge is finally starting to look like a grownup fridge. We've collected actual staple ingredients! Sigh.)

- "So, is your job with Classical Conversations pretty much almost full-time?" She says because she doesn't understand why I can't hang out with them the whole time they're visiting. Yes, my 40-50-hours-a-week, pays-all-the-bills, what-I-went-to-college-for dream job IS "pretty much almost" full-time.

- "But you're going to quit or go to part time after Gem graduates, right?" Well, no. I like my job. I went to school for this. I want to do more with my life than watch Netflix and spend my husband's money.

- "Oh yeah, chili is definitely something I can eat on my diet." *hours later* "Wait, you don't put beans in your chili, do you?" Does anyone NOT put beans in their chili?

Sigh XD She really is awesome, and didn't mean anything bad by any of her questions and comments, but, like I said, it's a good thing I'm not easily offended, right?

~Stephanie

Food Freak

We're planning a cooking night with some couple friends for tomorrow. Last night I went out for fondue with some girl friends. Basically the past couple of days have been orchestrated for reminding me how weird my food habits/restrictions are XD

For instance, I don't do alcohol at all. (No, it isn't for religious reasons or because I'm a prude. See here.) It's like I'm on a 23-year no-alcohol streak that I intend never to break. But you know what the base of cheese dipping sauces is at fondue restaurants? Alcohol. Of course, all the alcohol cooks off, so it's not a big deal, but it freaked me out. No way was I breaking my 23-year-long streak for some wickedly expensive Havarti.

I still ate it (delicious, though absolutely not worth the price), but only after texting Gem and getting reassurance that it wouldn't be breaking my streak.

Then, as we planned cooking night for tomorrow, it came up that I can't drink carbonation. (Story: I used to be "addicted"' to CocaCola, so in college I decided to go a whole year without soda of any kind. I did it. And when I drank my celebratory cherry Coke 365 days later, it destroyed my insides. Since then I've tried it several times, and even so much as a sip sends me packing for the bathroom.)

I'm also deathly allergic to peanuts, and slightly allergic to cucumbers, bananas, carrots, and watermelon.

In case any of you ever want to have me over for dinner. Or kill me.

~Stephanie

Yeah, I'm into Fitness

Today was my eighth consecutive weekday at the gym :) My college friend Anna convinced me to join with her, and I'm SO glad. I've seriously slacked off since, well, the wedding. I've never paid for a gym membership before. My family had one growing up, and in college it was "free." It feels different paying for one. It feels more important, like a real investment. I'm hoping that feeling sticks.

I'm also watching what I'm eating. I got the MyFitnessPal app and am logging faithfully, probably because I need something to do on my phone to replace Facebook (#Lent).

In the past, I've struggled with anorexic tendencies. I'm following a lot of healthy fitness models now though, and I actually think my mind is fixed. I'm more interested in being healthy than skinny now. I do want to lose weight and tone up, but I want strong muscles, not chicken legs. I dunno. That alone feels like progress.

(Highly recommend following Emily Skye on Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram. She's my absolute favorite. Goofy, yet insightful; beautiful, yet real; funny, yet admirable.)

Tomorrow I'm gonna work out again. It'll be leg day.

Yeah. I've become pretty dull. Oh, but Gem and I went to Charleston, SC this past weekend! It was hands down--honeymoon included--the best trip ever. The weather was perfection, we had money saved to spend, and Gem's and my travel styles are so in sync. Every meal was delicious. Every store was fun. Every night was full of TV and king-sized-bed wallowing and Things Married People Are Allowed to Do.

I know we haven't been married long at all, but it's nice to still feel so in love. We've been on each others nerves a lot lately. It was nice to have a fight-free weekend in my favorite US city.

Gem bought me this necklace! I had asked a while ago if he would buy me a necklace I could just wear all the time, like a default. So he did :)

Flabbergasted that the bed behind us was worth--prepare yourself--one hundred and twenty-five THOUSAND dollars.

I just really enjoyed this children's book series XD

My favorite Charleston jewelry store is closing! Sad. But I got excellent deals.

This cannon was dug up in someone's backyard when they tried to dig a well or something XD

It went from 60 degrees to 35 over night. We bundled hard.

Aaaaand this one is just because I felt like it was a good hair day.

Sad to leave, but glad we went.

~Stephanie

Complaining?

Hey y'all :)

For a while there it looked like Peripeteia was on its way out. I started using my more "thoughtful, professional" blog, Reason in the Rhyme and stopped feeling particularly attached here.

But lately...that's been changing. I have a lot of less professional thoughts, as evidenced by the last post. Sometimes I just want to talk about my life, or connect with other bloggers, or try out different themes. Reason in the Rhyme doesn't fee like me. It feels like...the Me who wanted a job last year.

So, maybe I'm back, if anyone is still here :)

It feels like blogging is a dying art. Last week, I went to my profile, clicked one of my Interests, and began poking around trying to find bloggers like me. You know what I found? Eight times out of ten, nothing had been posted on the blog since like 2011. That's six years ago, guys. EIGHT TIMES OUT OF TEN.

Granted, I have a LOT of blogs (Carpe Diem, Carpe Noctem, Carpe Liber, to name a few) that are in the same boat, but I also have Peripeteia and Reason.

It seems like in the past few years, blogging has gone from something lots of people do to something that only "successful bloggers" do. Blogging isn't about sharing your thoughts with like-minded people anymore; it's a glamorous platform for people who love their labels. There are fashion blogs and fitness blogs and recipe blogs and frugal lifestyle blogs and...that's, like, it. And if anyone can't get 300+ followers in the first year or so, then she might as well just call it quits. Clearly she isn't meant to be a blogger

I feel it too. I feel like posting here is useless. Peripeteia doesn't have a "theme." It used to be about Winking and Hot Guys. Then it was life updates. Now it's...I don't know.

I want to be free. That was the whole point of this blog. I wanted to get away from the sunshine and butterflies persona of Kendra Logan and be ME. I am still sometimes sunshine and butterflies, but I'm also sarcasm and bitchiness, politics and PG-13 movies.

I hate that now I feel like I have to turn this into a blog with a specific theme.

And I hate that the reason I feel that way is because I want "Followers." Because the truth is, in no way do I have to give this blog a theme. No one is telling me that. It's just that I know no one wants to read a blog that DOESN'T have a theme, and I do--I'll readily admit it--I DO want people to read my blogs.

Maybe the theme of the blog will just be that it's always changing themes.

Maybe I just need to get over myself and not care whether or not anyone reads :)

Probably that.

~ Stephanie

Stupid Things People Are Upset About

First all, miss y'all.

Second.

Lately, I've been on Facebook and Snapchat entirely too much. It's like a car wreck that I can't look away from. Every time I think I've seen the dumbest thing people can be offended by, something dumber comes along. Every time I think an article is going to be satirical, I read it and find out that, yes, people are ACTUALLY whining that Siri has a female voice and therefore reinforces the patriarchy (women = subservient). Yeah. I'm dead serious. (Sorry to anyone who's had someone pass away; I know that phrase is fatally--oops, did it again--offensive.)

Clearly every single person on social media has such a privileged life (yes, even non-whites) that they must invent crap to be bothered by. If you had real problems, trust me, you would not be throwing tantrums about iRobots.

It's miserable. And misery loves company. So here. Share in my misery of these incredibly stupid things that people are saying/believing/protesting.

1. The Siri Thing - Let's just start with that. The article opens with how sexist it is that a helpful electronic presence is given a female voice. Siri is our helper, our inferior, and so naturally, in a patriarchal society, she's a she. Then it talks about how if you say rude sexual or gender-based things to different bots, they mostly don't tell you off. They also respond favorably to being complimented.

You're telling me that the problem here is with bot creators making bots that are shallow and deflective, and NOT with the idiots who sat around all day calling Siri a slut?

2. Women's Sex Double Standards - I wish I could link to this, but it was a Snapchat article. The article was something like "Ten Reasons Not to Go on a Second Date with Someone." Number 6? "He pressures you for sex." Great. Sounds like a good reason not to go on another date with him. Number 9? "He makes you feel bad for wanting sex on the first date." The bullet point goes on to say that someone who shames you for "wanting to get yours" is a prude monster. So, lemme get this straight. A woman can pressure a man for sex, but a man can't pressure a woman for sex. #equality

3. Cornrows - I watched a video (my first mistake) on how wrong it is for anyone other than African Americans to wear cornrows. If you don't have hair that makes cornrows sensible, then you're just committing cultural appropriation. If you're white, you shouldn't get cornrows because you can't appreciate black culture. (So basically, your skin color dictates what style you're allowed to have. Imagine if white people tried to curtail what style black people choose because they're black.) By this logic, only Hawaiians can wear flower in their hair, only Polynesians can have tattoos, and only real cowboys can wear cowboy hats.

How about, instead of getting pissy over everything, we let people wear what they want to wear and do what they want to do regardless of their race? Isn't that kind of the point? That people not be judged or restricted by their race?

4. Racist Grammar - The University of Washington decided that proper grammar is racist, that "English" has no set standard. First of all, what? Are they seriously saying that someone's race makes them incapable of speaking or writing proper English? NOW who's racist?! Second of all, English does have a standard. That's the whole point of the dictionary, so...

5. Offensive Goose Song - I'm not sure how to link to a podcast, so you're just gonna have to hear this one from me. The Woody and Wilcox radio show brought up the story of a woman who heard church bells playing a song, researched to discover the song's lyrics (how would one even do that?), and found that the song's lyrics concerned a man and his dogs hunting geese. She then protested the church for playing a song that was offensive to geese. PETA got involved.

How do we explain to them that the geese don't care? That that woman was not actually protesting from a desire to protect geese, but from a desire to make herself feel good? When people protect animals' feelings, they aren't concerned with the animals at all; they're in it for their own ego. They want to feel like they're doing good. They want people to pat them on the back.

6. The Entire Concept of Microaggression - The word literally says that you are so petty and sensitive that you're offended by something microscopic. Get over yourself. Stop over-analyzing every single thing until you can find something that someone somewhere might think is offensive. Half the time, the potentially offended party (like the goose, for instance) doesn't even give a crap.


If you have any other stupid things that people are upset about, please don't share them. I'm in a state of perpetual annoyance as is ;)

~Stephanie

In Celebration...

...of our two-month marriage anniversary, here are some pictures from the big day! I'm kind of obsessed with them.

I hate the smell of flowers, so all our flowers were hand made of paper by one of my bridesmaids :)

Maid of Honor, my sister Sarah!

Cassidy, my best friend who made all the flowers!

College roomie, Harley :)

Childhood best friend and fire fairy, Jesse :)

Now sister-in-law, Abigail!

Another childhood best friend and fire fairy, Ellie!

 

You can't tell, but the cake topper bride is pinching the cake topper groom's butt. That cake topper was the first wedding thing I picked out.

Best day of my life--so far :)

Processing "Rape Culture"

I'm not sure how to write about this. I don't even know what I want to say yet (which is--as always--why I'm writing in the first place).

You've probably already heard more than you care to about the girl who was raped behind a dumpster and how her rapist got sentenced to only six months in prison. Part of me agrees that you can never say too much about how awful that was. But part of me is also emotionally exhausted by all the hate and horror floating around on the internet.

If it's not police violence, it's a gorilla getting shot. If it's not a gorilla getting shot, it's how males are absolute pigs and responsible for "rape culture."

Are males responsible for rape culture? Well, they are statistically more often the rapists and than the victims. Males do have more of a reputation for objectifying and sexualizing women, and reputations don't just form for no reason. So, I guess yeah, males are primarily responsible for rape culture.

But not ALL males. Gem is not responsible for rape culture. My dad is not responsible for rape culture. And I resent all the broad, sweeping statements about how "No, you know what, because you have a penis you ARE part of the problem and the fact that you don't think you are means you're even worse and there's nothing you can say or do to make me change my mind."

I'm sorry, but isn't that just another form of sexism? Don't women get enraged when sweeping statements are made about them? People are individuals. "Men" is not a homogeneous group of macho rapists any more than "Women" is a homogeneous group of emotional bitches.

Brock Turner did something wrong. But TWO other males did something right by stopping him and calling the police.

Yeah, males are primarily responsible for rape culture. But not ALL males.

I also happen to think that it is really stupid for a young woman to get so drunk she can't remember her night, so drunk she thinks it's wise to wander behind a dumpster with a strange boy. I do NOT mean that it was "her fault" that she was violated. But you are more likely to get knifed in a dark alley alone than in a well-lit Starbucks. You are also more likely to be molested if you are totally plastered and unable to enforce your wishes. (A 2012 study posted by Campus Safety Magazine reports that "90% of acquaintance rapes involve alcohol.")

But then again. I just read an article (why do I even do that to myself? It's like reading the comments on YouTube) by a 20-something Christian guy who made a point I had somehow overlooked:  "As men, it’s our job to protect women regardless of what they wear or how much they drink."

Oh.

How could I have forgotten the way I was raised? How could I have forgotten the Southern values I hold to so proudly? How could I have forgotten the Biblical responsibility of men?

I've been so caught up in how dumb and irresponsible it is to wear short skirts and get plastered in an alleyway that I forgot that THAT SHOULDN'T MATTER. In a common sense and empirical kind of way, it totally does matter, but on a moral, Christian, Southern level, it shouldn't matter at all.

Men are supposed to protect women, not because women are weak or cowardly, but because it's polite (and clearly women are the ones who need protection in this particular case, since most rapists are men and most victims are women).

But no matter how confident in and proud of Gem and my dad I am, I will never wear a short skirt and get plastered in an alleyway.

~Stephanie