Stupid Things People Are Upset About

First all, miss y'all.

Second.

Lately, I've been on Facebook and Snapchat entirely too much. It's like a car wreck that I can't look away from. Every time I think I've seen the dumbest thing people can be offended by, something dumber comes along. Every time I think an article is going to be satirical, I read it and find out that, yes, people are ACTUALLY whining that Siri has a female voice and therefore reinforces the patriarchy (women = subservient). Yeah. I'm dead serious. (Sorry to anyone who's had someone pass away; I know that phrase is fatally--oops, did it again--offensive.)

Clearly every single person on social media has such a privileged life (yes, even non-whites) that they must invent crap to be bothered by. If you had real problems, trust me, you would not be throwing tantrums about iRobots.

It's miserable. And misery loves company. So here. Share in my misery of these incredibly stupid things that people are saying/believing/protesting.

1. The Siri Thing - Let's just start with that. The article opens with how sexist it is that a helpful electronic presence is given a female voice. Siri is our helper, our inferior, and so naturally, in a patriarchal society, she's a she. Then it talks about how if you say rude sexual or gender-based things to different bots, they mostly don't tell you off. They also respond favorably to being complimented.

You're telling me that the problem here is with bot creators making bots that are shallow and deflective, and NOT with the idiots who sat around all day calling Siri a slut?

2. Women's Sex Double Standards - I wish I could link to this, but it was a Snapchat article. The article was something like "Ten Reasons Not to Go on a Second Date with Someone." Number 6? "He pressures you for sex." Great. Sounds like a good reason not to go on another date with him. Number 9? "He makes you feel bad for wanting sex on the first date." The bullet point goes on to say that someone who shames you for "wanting to get yours" is a prude monster. So, lemme get this straight. A woman can pressure a man for sex, but a man can't pressure a woman for sex. #equality

3. Cornrows - I watched a video (my first mistake) on how wrong it is for anyone other than African Americans to wear cornrows. If you don't have hair that makes cornrows sensible, then you're just committing cultural appropriation. If you're white, you shouldn't get cornrows because you can't appreciate black culture. (So basically, your skin color dictates what style you're allowed to have. Imagine if white people tried to curtail what style black people choose because they're black.) By this logic, only Hawaiians can wear flower in their hair, only Polynesians can have tattoos, and only real cowboys can wear cowboy hats.

How about, instead of getting pissy over everything, we let people wear what they want to wear and do what they want to do regardless of their race? Isn't that kind of the point? That people not be judged or restricted by their race?

4. Racist Grammar - The University of Washington decided that proper grammar is racist, that "English" has no set standard. First of all, what? Are they seriously saying that someone's race makes them incapable of speaking or writing proper English? NOW who's racist?! Second of all, English does have a standard. That's the whole point of the dictionary, so...

5. Offensive Goose Song - I'm not sure how to link to a podcast, so you're just gonna have to hear this one from me. The Woody and Wilcox radio show brought up the story of a woman who heard church bells playing a song, researched to discover the song's lyrics (how would one even do that?), and found that the song's lyrics concerned a man and his dogs hunting geese. She then protested the church for playing a song that was offensive to geese. PETA got involved.

How do we explain to them that the geese don't care? That that woman was not actually protesting from a desire to protect geese, but from a desire to make herself feel good? When people protect animals' feelings, they aren't concerned with the animals at all; they're in it for their own ego. They want to feel like they're doing good. They want people to pat them on the back.

6. The Entire Concept of Microaggression - The word literally says that you are so petty and sensitive that you're offended by something microscopic. Get over yourself. Stop over-analyzing every single thing until you can find something that someone somewhere might think is offensive. Half the time, the potentially offended party (like the goose, for instance) doesn't even give a crap.


If you have any other stupid things that people are upset about, please don't share them. I'm in a state of perpetual annoyance as is ;)

~Stephanie

Just Another Blog About Marriage

I have a problem.

My Facebook newsfeed is clogged with blog posts about marriage. "Single and Not Waiting." "My Husband is Not My Soul Mate." "I Wasn't Ready For Marriage." "Got Engaged and Immediately Doubted My Decision." "Hey Young People: Now's the Time to Get Married." "Stop Dating Someone You Don't Have a Future With."

Oh. My. God.

Leave. Us. Alone.

{And thus, my problem:  How do I blog about blog posts about marriage clogging up media without it being ridiculously ironic? Answer: I don't know. If I figure out a way before I finish this post, awesome. If I don't, I'm posting anyway. Everyone knows I love irony.}

I honestly don't know why this annoys me so much. Maybe because I feel like it's a trend. It's TRENDY to talk about marriage right now. It's an infinity-scarves-and-Starbucks thing. It's just what profound Christian twenty-something bloggers discuss. The theme came up out nowhere, and will probably disappear having made no lasting impression on the world.

Marriage is important, yes. There are lots of misconceptions about marriage, and singleness, and the terrifying pop-culture concept of "The One;" I get it. We need to talk about it. We need to clarify the misconceptions and dispel the terror. We need to return to the Bible and be smart about how much we depend on another human for happiness and wholeness. Yes.

But damn. I'm dating a guy and I love him and I'm happy and we both love God and we get along great and we see a future together and I don't need some chick in Canada telling me that I have to put God first--I know that. I don't need some guy telling me that getting married isn't going to cause me financial stress--I pretty much know that it will, in fact, because combining two separate incomes and lifestyles will always pose adjustments. I don't need someone to tell me that I'm going to have doubts if I say Yes to a proposal--I am human and also Stephanie. Of COURSE I'm going to freak out and second-guess. {Although I do happen to have liked Mo's post a lot.} {And I like Matt Walsh, too.}

Maybe I'm just being bitter and petty and immature, but I feel like the media avalanche of marriage commentary is unnecessary. Anyone seriously considering marriage will come to these articles' conclusions on their own, and if they don't--in some cases--maybe that's okay.

If you're a Christian and you don't know to put God ahead of your spouse, then there are issues that a bubbly blog post is not going to fix.

And maybe you can marry someone you believe to be your soul mate and have a totally healthy marriage. Maybe you can live a totally moral and successful life without the disillusioning kick in the teeth of "HA HA YOU JUST HAVE TO MAKE IT WORK BECAUSE THERE IS NO ONE RIGHT FOR YOU."

Don't get me wrong, those articles are well-written and I understand the merit of being freed from counterproductive notions of marital perfection. I just subscribe to the Morgan Freeman method of social problem-solving. How do we fix all these problems? "Stop talking about them."

Can we stop obsessing and looking to other people to feed us Truths about life? What ever happened to logic and personal prayer and self-awareness? I just don't see taking someone seriously who comes up to me and says, "Oh my gawsh, this article, like, changed my life-ah."

{See, I can't even hear that sentence in anything but a Valley Girl voice.}

I think lasting, heartfelt revelations regarding anything, but maybe ESPECIALLY marriage, need to come from sources much more personal than mass-distributed blog posts.

I like to think that my role as a blogger is to start conversations. I have conversations, debates, and evaluations in my head, and I write about them as a way to process my thoughts. I hope that my posts might spark similar discussions inside your heads. But I never presume to tell you what to think. I'm not going to lie to you, but I will also be the first to tell you that I am not an end-all-be-all source of Truth. I'm not an idiot.

I'm still not sure if I've answered my own question of "why do I hate the torrent of marriage-related articles." Yes, I think they're overrated; Yes, I think they're pretentious and unnecessary; Yes, I think real heart changes come from more personal sources than blogs.

But maybe I just hate them because they're trendy and I'm tired of them. That also sounds like something I would do.

What are you thoughts on this?

~Stephanie

The Twenty-Teens

The Sixties

The Seventies

The Eighties

The Nineties

 

Now...

Ever wonder how our kids will caricature the twenty-teens for their spirit weeks and dances and Halloween costumes? Honestly, I'm excited for it. I think it'll be great. And easy. Our generation is so fun and wild and colorful and deliciously extreme.

All you really have to do is dress in awesomely bright colors.

 And remember that You Only Live Once.

 And have an unexplained thing with mustaches. 

 

 And not care about judgment or morals too much, because the former is wrong and the latter doesn't exist because nothing is wrong.

 

 

Don't forget to work your ass off. As literally as you can manage.

  

 Let go and go hard. Colorfully.

A lot.

And if all else fails, at least take a selfie.

Really, I think our generation is probably doing a lot wrong, but if/when we fall, it's going to be a beautiful disaster.

~Stephanie

Irony

There are people who mourn the closed-mindedness of others, and are angered at their "wrong" and "judgmental" beliefs. These people declare that everyone has the right to his own opinion, and no one should be hated for his beliefs.

But then those same people turn around and campaign against those who believe differently than they do. It's okay for them to be angry and want to change your belief that homosexuality is wrong. However, it is not okay for you to calmly tell them that that is what you believe, and you're sticking to it.

Having different views is a beautiful and acceptable thing--unless you disagree with those who believe that XD This philosophy always breaks down somewhere...

Anyone else find this laughably ironic?

~Stephanie

Government Theologies Explain with a Moo

NOTE: My senior pictures were rescheduled due to bad weather :-/ We're shooting for Wednesday, although that doesn't look any better. I'm betting on Friday.

* Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

* Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need.

* Bureaucratic Socialism: Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.

* Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

* Pure Communism: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

* Real World Communism: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most “ability” and who has the most “need”. Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

* Russian Communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.

* Perestroika: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the “free” market.

* Cambodian Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

* Militarianism: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

* Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

* Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

* Representative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

* British Democracy: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps’ brains and they go mad. The government doesn’t do anything.

* Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

* Pure Anarchy: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

* Enviromentalism: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

* Political Correctness: You are associated with (the concept of “ownership” is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently – aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

* Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

~Stephanie

Ten Years

What can happen in ten years?

You can get your ears pierced.
You can move.
You can invent 3D movies.
You can make 10 new friends.
You can outgrow a passport.
You can learn to cook.
You can invent Facebook.
You can forget your kindergarten enemy.
You can forget how mad you were that one time.
You can forget what that shirt looked like.
You can forget the disagreement with your sister.

But there are some things you cannot forget.

September 11, 2001.

Smoke.
Fire.
Fear.
Silence.

Great, loud, looming, shocked silence.

Unity.
Tears.
Tragedy.
Unison.

Breathing.
Whispering.
Wailing.
Balking.

Grandmas calling.
Mommas crying.
Children wondering.

What happened? What was so great? So terrible? What had happened that was so big the whole world stopped to watch?

There are lots of ways to say it; each one makes your stomach clench, your mind flinch, your heart squeeze.

Nine-eleven. 9-11. September 11. The World Trade Center. The Twin Towers.

It's funny trying to remember a time before it happened. It's funny because we will never forget what happened, but we've already forgotten what it was like before.

Remember when middle-eastern people didn't look scary?
Remember when you could walk right onto an airplane without checking bags?
Remember when the word "terrorism" was foreign?
Remember when America felt like the safest place in the world?

I was seven when it happened; I barely remember those things. But I do remember. What's sad is the kids I know who don't.

The nine-year-old girl I babysit can’t remember a time before Nine-Eleven. She doesn't remember when middle-eastern people were just people. She doesn't remember not having extensive airplane security. She doesn't remember not knowing what "terrorism" is. She doesn't remember thinking that America was invincible.

It's been ten years. America is growing again, in some good directions, and in some bad, but she is growing. That's the only thing she can do. People may try to strike her down, but the values she stands for--Freedom, Equality, Bravery, Honor, Justice--will endure forever, as long as the people defend them.

And that's what we will do. No matter what happens, no matter who tries to derail us, we will stand strong for our God-given rights and for WHAT is right. We will remember not only Nine-Eleven, but everything before that, everything our founding fathers stood for.

On this anniversary of the great American tragedy, don't just remember the Twin Towers. Remember why they were destroyed, and uphold those values all the stronger.

In ten years, a lot can happen, but some things you never forget.

And some of those things you never should.

~Stephanie

Southern Honor

So, the other day I was reminded of my strong southern tendencies concerning Honor, of which I am extremely proud. I know for a fact that southerners put more natural stock in honor than other parts of the globe, but do you?

About a year ago I read a book called “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell. It’s kind of a strange book in that it doesn’t really help you do anything, it just helps you understand things. Basically, it examines some successful people, and tries to figure out why they succeeded. There were some really interesting parts, and some parts that I skimmed, but my favorite part the chapter about

“cultural honor.”

It was so fascinating in fact that I've already written a post about it on the other blog, so I'm gonna be lame and basically paste it here. I edited it some because my writing style has matured a little, but the basics are still here.

Stick with me, please, I find this whole thing profoundly eye-opening.

You’ve heard about family feuds, right? How for generations and generations, families will just fight with each other for reasons they might not even remember? Well, let me quote Mr. Gladwell

“One family doing this is a feud. A ton of families right along the Appalachian doing it is a pattern.”

What made people in the south so prone to violent out breaks with each other?

Cultural honor.

You see, the main profession of the mountain areas was livestock so, peoples’ honor was very important. I mean, if you’re a farmer, you try your best to get along with people, but it’s not like anyone can actually STEAL your livelihood. What are they gonna do, pick up the wheat field and take it home?

However, if your job was tending sheep, people very well could steal your hard work. All you had to protect your livestock and your family was your reputation. Build up your reputation as a tough guy and no one will mess with you. Keep your honor intact.

Even nowadays when southerners have jobs other than watching cows all day, the mentality of keeping your honor has stuck around. Maybe it’s because there’s another reason for culture honor. It has to do with heritage.

Back during immigration, a definite trend started with the Scotch-Irish: they settled along the eastern/southern US.

That would be “from the Pennsylvania border south and west through Virginia and West Virginia, Kentucky and Tennessee, North Carolina and South Carolina, and the northern end of Alabama and Georgia.” And that’s where all this “cultural honor” stuff is big. You can steal my stuff, but you can’t insult my mama. That’s how it works here. *clears throat* I mean, there…

Okay, I’m from North Carolina. And when Mr. Malcolm Gladwell started raggin’ on my homeland, I started getting pretty hot inside.

And as I started boiling, I blinked and realized I was proving his point.

Oh.

Awkward.

I read on.

Gladwell also mentioned an experiment. In the early 1990s, two psychologists decided to get together a bunch of 18-21 year old guys and insult them to see how they would react. They came up with the insult they thought would resonate with them the most. “Asshole.”

The Experiment:

“The social sciences building at the University of Michigan has a long, narrow hallway in the basement lined with filing cabinets. The young men were called into a classroom, one by one and asked to fill out a questionnaire. Then they were told to drop off the questionnaire at the end of the hallway and return to the classroom.”

Half the guys were from the states that were high on cultural honor, half of them were not.

“As they walked down the hallway with their questionnaire, a man—a partner in the experiment—walked past them and pulled out a drawer in one of the filing cabinets. The already narrow hallway now became even narrower. As the young men tried to squeeze by, the part looked up, annoyed. He slammed the filing cabinet drawer shut, jostled the young men with his shoulder, and, in a low but audible voice said the trigger word: ‘asshole.’”

Through different tests that I won’t go into in detail, the suspicions were confirmed. Confirmed A LOT. The cultural honor boys were mad. Even though they didn’t act out in violence, their handshakes were firmer than usual, saliva samples revealed that being insulted had raised their levels of testosterone and cortisol (hormones that drive aggression). The guys were also given a short story and told to supply a conclusion. The story had to do with a guy’s girlfriend being come onto by another guy. The cultural honor guys who had been insulted made it end violently, while the guys who lived in other places did not.

IS THAT INTERESTING TO ANYONE ELSE?

I’m going to be perfectly honest with you:

I never thought people reacted any differently.

Call me ignorant, but I thought this was the same everywhere. I had no idea that in other parts of the US, it wouldn’t be natural to react violently to having your honor insulted. I mean, you just don’t do that here. No one gets upset if you steal their stuff, but if you attack their honor, boy, it’s on.

It’s not just guys, it’s girls, too. I mean, I honestly had no idea that it would occur to anyone not to get wild about something like this…I think I’ve already said that :) But you get the idea.

Who knew? I had no idea that culture honor wasn’t the same everywhere. What a cool eye-opener!

Hope you guys found this at least half as interesting as I did :)

Celebrate

I'm proud to be an American

where at least I know I'm free.

And I won't forget the men who died

and gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up next to you

and defend her still today.

'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land.

God bless the USA.

My thoughts exactly, Mr. Greenwood.

~Stephanie