The Mold of Manners

We've been watching the old TV show Poirot. A brilliant, stout, impeccably polite detective (the Belgian Hercule Poirot) finds himself around complicated murders and proceeds to solve them through observation and conversation. He is the epitome of class, good manners, and gentle dry humor, and if he weren't an old guy, I'd have a crush on him. He's like a favorite uncle that I want everyone to meet.

The stories (based on Agatha Christie novels, which are even more excellent than the show) take place in the early twentieth century and mostly in Europe. As such, everyone is Just So. The men, even on their days off, wear three piece suits and carry themselves with perfect posture. They pay their debts, watch their language, and rise to their feet when ladies enter the room. The women exude poise, pride, and propriety to the point that it's palpable. Their dresses are flimsy and flowy and they wouldn't dream of leaving the house looking a wreck or failing to offer a guest tea.

I've also been using The Dick Van Dyke Show as my mindless, while-I-chop-veggies-for-salad show. (Gabe doesn't care for it, but I grew up watching reruns so it's basically comfort TV.) Though that takes place in the '50s, I think, it's got that same air of class. If people are invited to dinner, they put on a suit or a dress to attend. Men call for ladies at their houses for dates. Words are well-chosen and well-enunciated. Ladies sometimes wear gloves. Houses are neat. Everyone understands what's expected of them to do or say, or not do or not say. It's so...pretty. Life was pretty.

Now, I know I'm supposed to rage at the fact that in Poirot women are treated like dainty, delicate creatures who can't be exposed to nasty words, and in Dick Van Dyke, women are expected to do the housework and look nice for their husbands...but I don't. I just don't.

I wish I lived in one of those times. I just absolutely love the cultures. The more I watch stuff like this, the more I think we've gone too far in the opposite direction. In our quest for "realness," we've completely disregarded tact and presentation. In our quest for equality, we've demonized the idea of women being managers of the home. In our quest for expediency, we've neglected to foster healthy, precise vocabularies.

This paragraph here was originally me admitting that "of course, there are some things I'm glad I can do today that I wouldn't have been able to do in Poirot's day," but I couldn't even come up with anything besides "wear shorts," and I think dresses and skirts are more comfortable anyway. I guess I'd miss some modern medicines and plumbing. Yeah, that's definitely true. But to give up such amenities in return for Such Classiness sounds like a fair trade.

I wish people were still expected to behave well. Sure, it's easier not having to put your napkin in your lap or bring a hostess gift or stand when an older person walks in or say "Excuse me" when you leave a situation, but...just because it's easier doesn't mean it's better. I get it that honesty, transparency, and genuineness are desirable qualities, but can't we still maintain some discretion? Obviously I want to be able to share my thoughts with my sister or husband or best friend even if said thoughts aren't polite or rosy, but maybe that's where we should draw the line, rather than spewing outright, inarticulate shade to anyone with ears.

Of course, even "back in the day" shade was thrown and insults were spoken (have you ever read a Jane Austen novel?), but it was done more subtly, and almost more fairly too, because people were more aware of expectations. If you did X, Y, or Z, you knew it was considered impolite; you opened the door to just criticism.

Some might say that's worse, that all the manners just made it easier to be phony and passive aggressive and prevented people from becoming fully themselves. But...hm. Maybe I'm just a sucker for appearances? Or maybe I'm a little bit right. I think when done correctly, the old manners don't just help you appear to be a prettier, better, politer person, they might actually help mold you into a one.

~Stephanie

Debunked: Omg The Lion King is Hamlet

Tomorrow night I am going to see a live-streamed version of the play Hamlet, starring Benedict Cumberbatch. Be jealous.

In honor of getting to see my favorite play of all time, I would like to address a popular myth that absolutely fries me. It is the myth of

"Omg The Lion King is totes a retelling of Hamlet"

I would like to unmask this ridiculous falsehood by replying

"Bitch no it is not"

And, of course, providing evidence to that effect. So here we go.

WARNING: SPOILERS. I assume you know the story of The Lion King and don't mind some ruined "surprises" in Hamlet, but I believe there is a special circle of Hell reserved for people who spoil stories, and I am all about not going to Hell. So proceed at your own risk.

Similarities Between Disney's The Lion King and William Shakespeare's Hamlet

1. Both stories revolve around royalty. Congratulations, you have identified two works that feature royal families. This is only like one of THE MOST common elements in literature, and basically the MAIN element in classic Disney.

2. In both stories, the uncles kill the fathers in order to take the crown for themselves. This is a much better parallel, but, again, it's a common theme in stories. The little brother who wants his big brother's crown is pretty much a classic plot line.

3. In both stories, the ghosts of the dead kings appear. This would be a pretty convincing similarity if their roles weren't vastly, vastly, fundamentally different. See Differences...

Differences Between The Lion King and William Shakespeare's Hamlet

1. In Hamlet, the Queen Gertrude is involved in plotting King Hamlet's murder; in The Lion King, Queen Sarabi is clueless and loyal to King Mufasa.

2. In Hamlet, the uncle and the queen get married--rather quickly. In The Lion King, Scar and Sarabi never seem to have a positive relationship.

3. In The Lion King, the uncle frames the son, Simba--and Simba DOES play a role in King Mufasa's death. Yeah, it was Scar who orchestrated the whole thing, but in Hamlet, the King's death is presumed to have been from natural causes. Hamlet isn't even implicated.

4. In Hamlet, Ophelia and Hamlet are discouraged from marrying. In The Lion King, Simba and Nala are betrothed.

5. In The Lion King, Simba genuinely feels guilty for his father's death and flees. In Hamlet, the son sticks around and actually develops an investigation plan. Yeah, Hamlet goes to England for like four seconds, but that is not his idea, and he comes back ASAP.

6. In Hamlet, the love interest, Ophelia, goes crazy and dies. In The Lion King, Nala is a feisty and persistent character who makes Simba man (lion?) up.

7. The secondary characters are all completely different. Pumba and Timone are on Simba's side; Rosencrantz and Guildenstern's job is basically to spy and tattle on Hamlet. Nala doesn't have a brother (Ophelia has Laertes). Nala's father isn't in the picture at all (Ophelia's father is adviser to the king). Simba doesn't have a strong confidante who actually survives the play (Horatio).

8. In Hamlet, there is no Rafiki character.

9. In The Lion King, the ghost of Mufasa appears to Simba to give him strength and hope. In Hamlet, the ghost of King Hamlet appears to Hamlet to demand vengeance. Mufasa encourages peace; King Hamlet brings unease and frustration.

10. In Hamlet, everybody dies at the end (I mean, it is a Shakespearean tragedy). In The Lion King, it is pretty much happily ever after for everyone except evil Uncle Scar (and the hyenas).

And there you have it.

So next time you hear people say "Omg The Lion King is Hamlet," please slap them for me. And then make them read this post.

Sincerely,
Such a Nerd

But Only a Little Bit

I am lying on my bed with a stomachache. Normally I would write this kind of thing in my journal, but that would require me not to lie on my back with my eyes closed.

I am stressed and I have a lot to do, but I have decided that it is okay for me to lie here for a while until I don't see the world in roiling waves of green nausea. I think that is one of the marks of being an adult:  having to assess whether or not you can afford to ignore your work for a bit. When you're a kid, you can ignore your work all day every day and not think twice about it. No guilt. No stress. That's why there are grown-ups:  to make you do your work.

But now I'm a little bit of a grown-up. I have to buy my own paper towels and toothpaste and chocolate milk. I have to get out of bed and wash my dishes and turn my light off at a decent hour. I have to wear clothes that fit the occasion and compose emails professionally and dedicate enough time to my homework.

{But I'm still in college, living on campus, so there's a lot of adultism that I haven't had to deal with yet. I'm pretty glad.}

Blugh. I just want someone to hand me peppermint tea and make me smile and help me see that the 70+ pages of political ethics and United Nations reading isn't actually going to kill me. I want someone to tell me that they liked my pigtails today and that having a tiny gold Batman ring is pretty much the coolest thing they've ever seen. I want to sit close to someone around whom I don't have to hold my stomach in or keep my shoulders back or try to look pleasant.

I sort of want to come apart real quick, but not in a helpless, emotional way. I just want to unstitch myself, come apart at the seams, and spill out all the stuff inside my heart and mind. I want someone to listen to me mumble aloud my chaotically elegant train of thought and not judge me based on conversational relevance or profundity.

Hmm. I'm starting to feel better--somewhat unfortunately. I can no longer justify lying here on my back with my eyes closed. I guess I have to go do my work now.

Alas, I am a little bit of a grown-up.

~Stephanie

Book Review: Dreadful Sorry

Guys, go Google "askew." Lawl.

Thanks for following, G-Fish! {Her blog is so my style, and she's an MU writer also.}

{She followed like forever ago, but it was new news when I actually wrote this post...}

Title: Dreadful Sorry
Author: Katherine Reiss
Stars: 2
Less-Than-500-Word Review in Short: Follow Molly Teague and her 2-dimensional cast members as they unravel the mystery to her visions in this eerie suspense novel.
Back-of-the-Book: {there is no back-of-the-book summary}

I Say:
“Dreadful Sorry” is a story set in the early 1990s about a girl named Molly who has disturbing dreams that begin to blend with reality. Her sleep is haunted by visions of a strange house and people and feelings of guilt. When she meets her friend’s cousin, Jared, things just go downhill. He triggers the strange feelings in her. Her nightmares start morphing into reality and she gets caught up in a bewildering and frightening mystery.

I read the first few pages of “Dreadful Sorry” at the library. It seemed centered around unusual dream occurrences, so of course I added it to my armload.

After the initial interest I felt at the library, my impressions of the book were negative. At first I thought it was just the 90s writing style, which I’m not a huge fan of, but that’s not it. The writing was weak and colorless and the descriptions were terrible. The dialogue fell flat; it just wasn’t believable. I don’t say this often, out of courtesy, but I could have written this story better. None of the characters had real personalities. They were all the 2-dimensional stereotypes we call Mary Sues.

The practical, logical mother who doesn’t believe in nonsense.
The silly, pixie-like young stepmother who tries to be affectionate and relatable.
The honest, understanding father who wanted a little joy out of life.
The Typical Girl who’s caught in the middle and doesn’t know what to make of her situation.

It’s all there, laid out in the open with no deviation from the usual cast. Molly’s friends don’t even merit memory-commitment. They’re more paper-thin than her family and only show up in one scene.

Then you have the plot. I admit, Reiss did a good job of making the story unnerving and creepy and I didn’t sleep well after reading “Dreadful Sorry” late. Who could sleep well with “My Darlin’ Clementine” wavering eerily through their mind? But I think part of the uneasiness was due to the poor quality of the story.

The plot construction itself was not well done. The order in which events take place and mysteries are unraveled could have been better. I would have had Molly’s visions occur before certain research was done, et cetera. I think it would have made the mystery greater and the sense of realization more satisfying.

In the end, I did not like the answer to the mystery, which will definitely ruin a good thriller for you. I’m sure not everyone would feel the way I did about the explanation, but I sure as heck did not find it gratifying.

I Liked:
- The effect of “My Darlin’ Clementine” was brilliant and effective.

I Didn’t Like:
- Awful characterization
- Poor writing
- Not the best construction

Audience: Anyone could read “Dreadful Sorry,” so long as they’re old enough not to be freaked out. I’d probably rate it PG if it were a movie.

Because of the poor writing, Mary Sues and silly plot payoff, I won’t be reading “Dreadful Sorry” again, but it’s a relatively quick read if you want to see for yourself.

~Stephanie

Ready

Straight from my Twenty-Eleven journal, I give you my lists {with the exceptions of the abbreviated Friends and Movies}.

Twenty-Eleven Firsts

First hug: Cassidy

First drink: sparking white grape juice

First food: a brownie

First text: Cody: "Happy new year" 12:50am

First color I painted my nails: deep purple :) Jan. 4

First thing I bought: nail polish Ja. 21

First pair of shoes I wore: Uggs

First time I brushed my teeth: Jan. 2 4:15pm

First time it rained: Jan. 1

First time it snowed: 5:30am Jan. 6

First book I finished: "The Outsiders" Jan. 28 10pm

First eyeliner I used: navy waterproof

First cry: Jan. 3

First cold: Jan 5-7 -__-

First stomach bug: {NA}

First LEGIT snow: 1.10.11

First sleepover: Jan 7-8 Mer's

First PC-sighting: July 7th, Panera Bread

First crush: My Guy

First theater movie: Tangled {AMAZING!}

First hair cut: Feb. 25

tWENTY-eLEVEN bOOKS:

1. The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan {1}

2. Tex by S. E. Hinton {5}
3. Incarceron by Catherine Fisher {3}
4. Across the Universe by Beth Revis {3.5}
5. No Promises in the Wind by Irene Hunt {3.5}
6. Her Fearful Symmetry - Audrey Niffenegger {3}
7. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins {4}
8. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins {4}
9. City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare {3}
10. Guys are Waffles, Girls are Spaghetti by Chad Eastham {3}
11. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins {4}
12. Fortune by Erica Spindler {2}
13. Divergent by Veronica Roth {3.5}
14. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen {4}
15. Theogony by Hesiod {4}
16. The Magicians by Lev Grossman {4.5}

17. A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley {3}

18. The Iliad by Homer {5}

19. Winter Garden by Kristen Hannah {4}

20. Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller {3.5}

21. Quicksilver by Stephanie Spinner {2.5}

22. MAX by James Patterson {3}

23. Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen {3}

24. Inheritance by Christopher Paolini {3.5}

25. Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry {and someone else...} {3.5}

26. Dreadful Sorry by Katherine Reiss {2}

27. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones {4}

28. Prophecy of the Sisters by Zink {3}

29. Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare {4.5}

30. Green Angel by Hoffman {3.5}

31. The Year of the Hangman by Blackman {3-3.5}

Twenty-Eleven New Friends

26, including a Spanish boy, a French boy, a Norwegian girl, and someone named Frank Fraank. I kid you not.

Twenty-Eleven {New} Movies

71, my favorites including:

Tangled

Sherlock Holmes {first one}

X-Men: First Class

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

Batman Begins

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Inception

Super 8

50/50

In Twenty-Eleven I...

Saw my first R-rated movie in the theater.

Participated in my first NaNoWriMo.

Got my driver's permit XD

Went to my first Renaissance Festival.

Got over someone.

Started working out for the first time.

Finally got my ears pierced.

Went to my first Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert.

Got a job.

Ate my first bacon roll-up.

Rode a plane for the first time.

Went to EUROPE.

Refrained from doing something stupid at the Open House for the first time.

Started my senior year of high school.

Wrote my first letter to Santa.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two-thousand eleven was quite a busy year. It has come and gone well before I noticed. I was lying in bed last night marveling at the fact that I started all those lists about a YEAR ago. It seems like it's been only a few months.

I changed a lot this year. I hadn't realized it until recently, but I am very much not the same girl who experienced New Year's last year. Last New Year's, I was heartbroken and trapped by the burden of masochism. I was working on those things, very hard, but I hadn't come out of them yet. I know now I had to be there to get where I am now.

In my seventeenth year, I feel that I have quietly become the person I was always supposed to be. I'm not grown up, I'm not done changing, I'm not perfect, and I'm not suggesting that I am. It's just that I've always felt a little "off," a little behind. This year I feel like I finally have both feet where they're supposed to be RIGHT NOW. I feel older and more in control of myself.

It's not so much that I have more answers; it's that I've finally learned how to live life the right way. I have to own my mind and heart and choices. I can't let other people or school or my personal flaws dictate who I am or how I respond.

When it comes down to it, I am my own person, and if I can give it all to God, I'll be doing pretty well.

A lot of my plans and wishes for twenty-eleven didn't happen, but that's alright. {Tomorrow will mark an official year of being erotica/pornography clean though :)} God's got it covered. As a fellow author, I think it's about time I start respecting God enough to give him the pen to my own story. He knows what's he's doing; like an author, he knows the ending and I'll just have to trust him that all the ups and downs are part of the plot.

Twenty-twelve is going to be my biggest transitional year yet. I'll become an adult; I'll graduate from high school; I'll begin college. Those are such monumental events that it makes it difficult to breathe when I think about them too hard. But they're coming whether I breathe easy or not XD

I feel optimistic about twenty-twelve--no matter what the Mayans say. I don't regret twenty-eleven {I'm not running away from it the way I was running from twenty-ten}, but I'm ready to face a new year.

Twenty-twelve, I now stand ready for life-alteration.

~Stephanie

"Clockwork Prince"

I am reading a fantastic, wonderful book.

"Clockwork Prince," by Cassandra Clare.

I loved her Mortal Instruments {MI} trilogy, and when she stared the Infernal Devices {ID} trilogy, I was ecstatic. "Clockwork Angel," the first ID book, came out in summer 2010, I read it and loved it with every ounce of my literary heart. I loved it more than my five-star-favorite MI books.

A few weeks ago, the second ID book, "Clockwork Prince" came out. I had to wait until I finished a college application to get at it, which I just did last week. Now I am reading "Prince."

Oh my.

*takes a moment to collect her thoughts*

Reading "Prince" isn't like being obsessed, when suddenly you're a lunatic and feel jittery and want to tell everything in sight about the story. It's much more beautiful than that.

Reading "Prince" is like slipping into a cool pool of water in a hushed, glowing wood and finding a treasure chest among the reeds. It's a hard-to-describe mix of smooth elegance and tightly-packed excitement.

Reading "Prince" makes the whole world look different. I see everyone as a character and want to conduct myself as a heroine. The house seems more beautiful and promising and food is a barely remembered necessity. My thoughts form themselves more neatly.

"Prince" is the kind of book you gracefully cannot put down. It's the kind of book you taste and smell and feel. It's the kind of book you wish would never end, because you don't want to live life without those characters in it.

While reading, I've gasped and squeaked and widened my eyes and bitten my lip and covered my mouth and laughed more times than I can count. Cassandra Clare is an artist, weaving characters and scenes so blindingly beautiful that I have to read some pages twice.

I love the characters, much more than usual, even for me. I love both the boys equally, differently, and painfully so. I feel for Tessa, who's completely, exactly like me. If I mutter something under my breath, she says it in the next sentence. If I think of a plan, Tessa has the same one. If I think I'd be afraid of something, Tessa confesses she is as well. If I realize something, Tessa realizes it on the next page too. If something never occurred to me and I suddenly feel like an idiot, the same thing shortly happens to Tessa.

Being so EXACTLY the same as the heroine of the story makes this trilogy, in some ways, more exciting than anything I've ever read. It's just as if I were in the story. I never feel frustrated at Tessa, as I usually do with book girls, because I understand and agree with everything she says or does. It's like being in the story; it's like seeing and feeling and choosing for myself. It's wonderful.

But it's not just Tessa that I love. I feel for all the characters; I don't have author-contempt for a single one. Clare hasn't tossed out any two-dimensional doozies the whole story and every person has a distinct voice. You don't hear Cassandra Clare in the book; you hear Will and Jem and Tessa and Magnus.

I know this has turned into a rant, and this isn't even a review since I'm not finished with the book. I was just taking a break from reading to grab a shower, but I had to get out my feelings. They were rushing and rolling and feeling so tangible that I had to do something with them.

I may come back later and read this and groan, closing my eyes and shaking my head at myself. I might think I was being stupid and dramatic and feel embarrassed for having published this post. But right now I just want to share with you how amazing I feel reading this story, and hope that you might read the books some day too.

~Stephanie

Book Review: Inheritance

Title: Inheritance
Author: Christopher Paolini
Stars: 3.5
Less-Than-500-Word Review in Short: After three books of set-up, the story of Eragon continues in this fantasy book full of occasional brilliance to come to a sloppy, unsatisfying end.
Back-of-the-Book: “It began with ‘Eragon’… It ends with ‘Inheritance.’

Long months of training and battle have brought victories and hope, but they have also brought heartbreaking loss. And still, the real battle lies ahead: they must confront Galbatorix. When they do, they will have to be strong enough to defeat him. And if they cannot, no one can. There will be no second chance.

The Rider and his dragon have come farther than anyone else dared to imagine. But can they topple the evil king and restore justice to Alagaesia? And if so, at what cost?”

I Say:
I read “Eragon” and “Eldest” after seeing the movie in 2006 and LOVED them. I bought “Brisingr” the day it came out. It was monumentally disappointing: full of filler, conceited word usage and a poor plot construction. I thought Paolini was going downhill, so I didn’t expect much from “Inheritance.”

Initially, the book lived up to my low expectations. The plot moved unnecessarily slowly and was chockfull of straight-up filler. I hoped the bunny trails would come back to mean something in the end, but they didn’t.

About page 300, things started happening. I got excited. The characters developed tremendously; I found myself genuinely interested in people I had hated or not cared about before. Pages 300-700 are GOLD. I read “Inheritance” for 6 hours straight Thanksgiving night.

But then came the ending. Bountiful loose ends, disappointing climax, unsatisfying resolution. I sat in my chair blinking as I read the last hundred pages thinking WTF.

Firstly, it was about the longest “ending” I’ve ever read. Secondly, if you’re going to make it so effing long, have some damn pay-off! Paolini alludes to so many mysteries during the series, and keeps it up through “Inheritance.” But does he explain himself? NO.

Then there are loose ends he NEEDLESSLY CREATES in “Inheritance,” then doesn’t address. And most of them are EASY FIXES, GUYS. Like legitimately ONE SENTENCE could have addressed them effectively; Paolini just didn’t bother. I can think of 7 ends that remain a shoddy mystery.
Then Paolini fixes stupid ends that no one cares about or remembers. Remember in “Brisingr” when Quimby gets killed because of Roran and Quimby’s wife vows revenge? Yeah, I didn’t either. But Paolini wastes 3 pages taking care of that one, by golly.

Ultimately, it was a book I am glad to have, and will probably read again because I love Eragon and a few other characters now. But really, it was poor writing and an needlessly unsatisfying end. This might be a good first draft, but Paolini’s editor needs to be shot.

I Liked:
- The middle: great character-development, gripping story, action, romance.

I Didn’t Like:
- Almost complete failed resolution.

Audience: “Inheritance” is PG or PG-13, just for the violence and a ridiculous implied scene towards the end, but no one too young for those aspects would ever wade through the story anyway.

This book is definitely worth the read, but be prepared to have unanswered questions.

~Stephanie

Book Review: Incarceron

{Note: I've heard rumors that "Incarceron" is soon to be a movie, starring Taylor Lautner. Not sure if it's legit, but I might look into it some more and let you know ;)}

Title: Incarceron
Author: Catherine Fisher
Stars: 3.5
Less-Than-500-Word Review in Short: “Incarceron” is a completely original and fascinating tale, however the plot and character development could have been improved.
Back-of-the-Book: “Incarceron is a prison unlike any other: Its inmates live not only in cells, but also in metal forests and dilapidated cities. The prison has been sealed for centuries. Only one man, legend says, has ever escaped.
Finn, a seventeen-year-old prisoner, can’t remember his childhood and believes he came from Outside. He’s going to escape, even though most inmates don’t believe Outside even exists. Then Finn finds a crystal key and through it, a girl named Claudia.
Claudia claims to live Outside—her father’s the Warden of Incarceron and she’s doomed to an arranged marriage. If she helps Finn escape, she’ll need his help in return.
But they don’t realize that there is more to Incarceron than meets the eye. Escape will take their greatest courage and cost more than they know.
Because Incarceron’s alive.”

I Say: It’s rare to find a book that’s truly original. You can put an original spin on Cinderella; you can write a fantasy with vampires as good guys; you can create futuristic gadgets that MAYBE no one has thought of; but it feels like almost everything—in one way or another—has been done.

Fisher found something that has not been done before. “Incarceron” was so imaginative and original that I felt I was hearing a story for the first time. There was always more to learn, more to understand, because you couldn’t see anything coming any more than the baffled characters could. Fisher surprised me again and again.

However, Fisher fell a bit into the trap of SHOCKING CLIMAX after SHOCKING CLIMAX, almost to the point where the reader was tired of being surprised. Although the book can’t be called too short, it felt like the pacing was off.

Other things that kept me from loving the book: 1) The story is so original that it’s difficult to understand immediately. You spend the first hundred pages trying to figure out how society works, what so-and-so means, and what this-and-that is. Some of this might be intentional, but I found it a little jarring.

2) I didn’t think the character development was completely…developed. The main characters (with the exception of Claudia and maybe Keiro) fell flat. No one had a catch-phrase, an especially unique personality, or a well-developed internal conflict.

Still, those things might improve after a second read. Once I know the story, it might not feel like SHOCKING CLIMAX after SHOCKING CLIMAX. Once I’m familiar with the society, it might not seem as frustrating trying to understand. Then once I don’t have to concentrate so hard on the lingo and plot, I can focus more on the characters themselves. Maybe then they won’t fall flat.

I Liked:
- Original
- Thought-provoking

I Didn’t Like:
- Poor character development
- Lack of tight plot

Audience: “Incarceron” is appropriate for all ages content-wise, but it’s possible younger kids wouldn’t enjoy it because it’s confusing and not always immediately exciting.

I think “Incarceron” is worth the read!

Book Review: Across the Universe

Title: Across the Universe
Author: Beth Revis
Stars: 4
Less-Than-500-Word Review in Short: In an imaginative and original story, “Across the Universe” calls to the reader’s attention the very real issues of morality and choice we threaten to face today.
Back-of-the-Book: “Amy is a cryogenically frozen passenger aboard the spaceship Godspeed. She’s left her boyfriend, friends—and planet—to join her parents as a member of Project Arc Ship.
Amy and her parents believe they will wake on a new planet, Centauri-Earth, three hundred years in the future. But fifty years before Godspeed’s scheduled landing, cryo chamber 42 is mysteriously unplugged, and Amy is violently woken from her frozen slumber.
Someone tried to murder her.
Now, Amy is caught inside a tiny world where nothing makes sense. Godspeed’s 2,312 passengers have forfeited all control to Eldest, a tyrannical and frightening leader. Elder, Eldest’s rebellious teenaged heir, is both fascinated with Amy and eager to discover whether he has what it takes to lead.
Amy desperately wants to trust Elder. But should she put her faith in a boy who has never seen life outside the ship? All Amy knows is that she and Elder must race to unlock Godspeed’s hidden secrets before whoever woke her tries to kill her again.”

I Say: Despite the many futuristic books out there, much of “Across the Universe” is fresh. (Although it still reminds me of a less-catchy “Giver”-“Uglies series” hybrid.) There are several shocking twists, but Revis keeps a neat plotline.

I loved the beginning. Chapter one silenced my fears that the characters might be shallow. I loved Amy and I thought Revis was doing a great job conveying her personality and situation.

Then the book shifted to Elder’s point of view and into the present tense. The story is told from first person, alternating between Amy and Elder. After the first chapter it’s all in present tense. There’s nothing wrong with present tense; a lot of people find it easier to connect with. Personally I just don’t like it. I also didn’t “feel” Elder the way I had Amy, and the futuristic slang was silly and too frequent. However, the plot remained interesting and I was eager for the mystery the cover sleeve promised.

As the story continued, I liked it more, although Revis’s futuristic lingo never caught on. The story was charged with issues like the power of choice, what true leadership is, and whether we SHOULD do something just because we CAN. In a world where technology is rapidly rising, these are concerns we need to address.

The thing that bothered me was a small piece of the ending. It’s subtle but disturbing, and almost feels like Revis undoes everything she’s been pushing for the entire book.

I Liked:
- Moral issues
- Surprising twists
- Well-planned

I Didn’t Like:
- Forced slang
- Disconcerting ending

Audience: This book has distinctly PG-13 moments (sexuality). Reader discretion advised ;)

“Across the Universe” is definitely a book for all teenagers to read. It’s fascinating and really pushes the hard questions, ones we may have to face not too far into the Future.

BY THE WAY GUYS: For the Gender Specific Questions thing, you're actually going to have to ask questions :P I know it'll be great reading the answers, but first...you gotta give us something to go on.

GIRLS: Questions you've always had about guys.

GUYS: Questions you've always had about girls.

This may be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, people.

~Stephanie

Book Review: The Forest of Hands and Teeth

[Note: As far as I can tell, I'm one of very few who hate this book, so you might want to try it out and see if you disagree too! :)]

Title: The Forest of Hands and Teeth
Author: Carrie Ryan
Stars: 1
Less-Than-500-Word Review in Short: Mary and her friends wander around trying to find the ocean until the twentieth climax where something finally happens and you care absolutely nothing about it.
Back-of-the-Book: “In Mary’s world, there are simple truths.
The Sisterhood always knows best.
The Guardians will protect and serve.
The Unconsecrated will never relent.
You must always mind the fence that surrounds and protects from the Forest of Hands and Teeth.
Slowly, Mary’s truths are failing her. She’s learning things she never wanted to know about the Sisterhood and its secrets, and the Guardians and their power. And, when the fence is breached and her world is thrown into chaos, about the Unconsecrated and their relentlessness.
Now she must choose between her village and her future, between the one she loves and the one who loves her. And she must face the truth about the Forest of Hands and Teeth. Could there be life outside a world surrounded by so much death?”

I Say: Ignore the back-of-the-book. It just sets you up for disappointment.

I had great hopes for this book. The first few chapters weren’t even bad. But by the end, I was just glad it was over. “The Forrest of Hands and Teeth” took everything I hate in a book and smashed it together.

The characters were awful. From beginning to end, I couldn’t have cared less about Mary if I had tried. For some reason, all the characters seemed alike (except Mary who was uncommonly dim-witted and obsessed with finding ocean). If by chance they were portrayed differently, it was with thin, hollow, flat, emotionless, shallow words. Not the strong, colorful words that make great stories.

That brings me to something else I hate: lack of good description. I hate flowery paragraphs as much as the next guy, but I’ve got to be able to “see” what’s going on. When I read, I see the story like I’m watching a movie. Whenever I come across a book that I can’t “see,” it’s disorienting. With “Forest,” I just saw words. I could never tell where anyone was or what was going on. It was like being blindfolded.

The plot went up and down and nowhere fast. The story felt based on nothing. Lust is passed off as love. The Sisterhood’s secrets? I was like “Oh…that’s IT??” and the Guardians’ power…I never saw that at all. Things you think are important aren’t, and things that shouldn’t be are.

I Liked:
- Excellent similes

I Didn’t Like:
- Atrocious characterization
- Horrible plot
- No climax (or maybe it was several…)
- Insufficient description
- Mary is maddeningly slow
- Love is portrayed as lust

Audience: There’s some sensuality. Ryan tries to pass it off as real love, but really it’s just Mary lusting after this guy that you never get to know well enough to care about.

Imagine wandering around blindfolded with robots led by a girl who can’t recognize a number when she sees one pursuing a crayon. That’s how reading “The Forest of Hands and Teeth” feels.

~Stephanie

Date a Girl Who Reads

By Rosemarie Urquico, actually found on Sam's blog.

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book. Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

I find this beautiful and fascinating.

~Stephanie

Check the Label

I was looking at the labels to my posts the other day, analyzing the trends. Here is what I have discovered:

I am not Sick much.

I talk about God twice as much as I am sick.

There have been three Holidays since I started blogging, and three holiday posts. Right on.

Although Writing is my life, I post about Pictures exactly four times more often than about Characters.

The label "Hott Guys" appears slightly more often than the label "Thinking." Hmm.

I have posted six times more about someone else's book than about my own.

But I was relieved to see that there are more Book posts than Movie posts.

The number of posts on Friends is nearly double the number on Family.

I have managed to refrain thus far from creating a "Brothers" label.

There is only one post concerning Work, School, or Shopping. Lawl. I'm lazy.

I talk about Books twice as often as I talk about Reading. How does that work exactly?

The second largest label is "Random."

And I talk about myself more than anything.

Sometimes, I wonder...

Yep. I just wonder. I guess I should slap this post with a Thinking label. Or a Label label.

You know what, I'm gonna label this post with everything >:D

~Stephanie

Book Review: City of Bones

Title: The City of Bones {The Mortal Instruments Trilogy}
Author: Cassandra Clare
Stars: 4.5
Less-Than-500-Word Review in Short: In this dark, modern fantasy, Clare brings together love, excitement, magic, sarcasm and even some fascinating Biblical aspects.
Back-of-the-Book: “When Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in NYC, she hardly expects to witness a murder. Much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with odd markings. This is Clary’s first meeting with the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the earth of demons—and keeping the odd werewolves and vampires in line. It’s also her first meeting with gorgeous, golden-haired Jace. Within 24 hours Clary is pulled into Jace’s world with a vengeance, when her mother disappears and Clary herself is attacked by a demon. But why would demons be interested in an ordinary mundane like Clary? And how did she get the Sight? The Shadowhunters would like to know…”

I Say: Bleck; the back of the book is so misleadingly generic. The Mortal Instruments trilogy is in my top three all-time favorites, and you guys KNOW how picky I am.

Basically, the story is about demon hunters, who are descendents of the antediluvian {look it up} Nephilim. They get their power from Marks {semi-permanent Shadowhunter tattoos}, which are like the Mark that protected Cain in the Bible. However, although there are Biblical aspects sprinkled in, the books are by no means “Christian.”

In this expertly-crafted trilogy, Cassandra Clare weaves together humor, adventure, love, magic, and did I mention HUMOR? Clare is a GENIUS with humor. I laughed out loud more often than when reading any other series.

Her characters are—for the most part—great, especially Jace, the dark hero, and Simon, the sarcastic best friend. Their lines and personalities are all their own; they’re one-of-a-kind and wonderful.

I do have problems with Clary, the main character, and Isabelle, another featured individual because of my issues with overly badass girls.

I really love the unpredictability of this series. I’m good at seeing what’s coming, but never in a million years did I see the twists and turns Clare put in.

I Liked:
- The hilarity
- The unpredictability
- The lack of loose ends {I hate it when things don’t add up.}
- It realistically references the Bible a ton, which adds a whole new dimension to the story.

I Didn’t Like:
- Sometimes it feels a bit disorganized, but Clare always brings it back in, so rest assured.
- NOTE: While I think Clare should have stopped after completing this trilogy, she’s writing a second trilogy about the same characters. So far, I do not like it. So my review here goes for the original three books, not the new set of Mortal Instruments.

Audience: There’s sensuality, and one character is gay, so if that bothers you…heads up. Clare keeps it interesting while keeping it balanced nicely between PG and PG-13 XD

I think everyone should read The Mortal Instruments. Chances are you’ll love it, and if you don’t, at least you’ll know what hit you when the epic movie comes out.

~Stephanie

Books To Read/Actually Finish

Taken straight out of my Omni Liber 5.

1. "A Tale of Two Castles" - Gail Carson Levine

I love Levine. She wrote "Ella Enchanted," "The Two Princesses of Bamarre," and hilariously redid a bunch of classic fairy tales. I started "A Tale of Two Castles" while in Europe, and to be honest it's a little young for me, so I haven't gotten into it enough to finish it yet.

2. "The Magicians" - Lev Grossman

This is basically a grown-up version of "Harry Potter," but so far it's pretty good. I like Grossman's writing style and it's definitely entertaining. However, his world of magic isn't actually appealing to me, although it's DEFINITElY more believable and realistic.

3. "The Shadow of the Wind" - Carlos Zafon

This is a fascinating, sort of dark book I started last spring. I kept getting bogged down and still haven't finished it though.

4. "Wither" - Lauren DeStefano

I read Sam's pre-release description of this book last winter and fell in love with the idea of this book. I've seen it several times, but somehow it hasn't yet made it home with me.

5. "Retribution" - Sherrilyn Kenyon

I saw it at the bookstore and it sounded interesting. That's pretty much all it takes for me.

6. "Catch 22" - Joseph Heller

It's a classic. And it's supposed to be good. Ergo, it's on the list.

7. "A Brave New World"

My friend had to read this for school and she brought it to church one week. I read the back aaaand it sounded interesting XD

8. "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" {etc.}

I saw this book three years ago at a bookstore in Asheville, NC. It's stuck with me all this time, and now it's suddenly really popular with the movies and everything. But I still have not actually read it.

9. "Marks of Cain" - Tom Knox

I saw this at the bookstore and the back was fascinating. I wanna read it.

10. "Comedy in a Minor Key" - Hans Keilson

The title alone is pretty awesome, right? XD {I love minor keys.} Apparently it sounded good, but reading the description on Amazon is like "What..." So. Whatever. It's on the list.

11. "I Am Number Four" - Pittacus Lore

Saw the movie. {And Pettyfer is hottt stuffff.} But it always pisses me off when people ooh and aah over a movie that they haven't read the original BOOK to. I do not want to be "that person," so I'm trying to read the original book.

12. "Imaginary Girls" - Nova Ren Suma

It just...sounds really intriguing.

13. "Don't Judge a Girl By Her Cover" - Ally Carter

This is the third book in the Gallagher Girl series. I read the first two when I was like 13 and loved them, now I feel obligated to finish the series. {Not that the books aren't good. They are. I'm just kind of over the whole thing at this point.}

14. "Only the Good Spy Young" - Ally Carter

See above.

15. "Sapphique" - Catherine Fisher

This is the sequel to "Incarceron," which I read earlier this year. Again, I didn't super enjoy "Incarceron," but I believe in finishing a series once I start it.

16. "Cleopatra's Moon" - Vicky Alvear Shecter

One thing you for sure need to know about me: I have an obsession with Cleopatra. Sure, it comes and goes, but constantly lurking in the back of my mind is this fascination with the clever Egyptian queen who gave birth to Greek-Roman-Egyptian children. Anything about her FASCINATES me. I can never read enough about her. So, I wanna read this book. {The book "Cleopatra's Daughter" is really good if you also like this sort of thing. Just btw.}

17 "The Sweet Far Thing" - Libba Bray

I thought this was called "That Sweet Fair Thing" for like two years. Anyway, Bray wrote these two books called "A Great and Terrible Beauty" and "Rebel Angels," both of which I have read, neither of which I enjoyed. I think I was too young for them. The sensuality creeped me the heck out. But, AGAIN, I am now bound by the Law of Series to read this book.

18. The "Pendragon" books 8, 9 and 10 -D.J. MacHale

It's a series thing. Although this books are pretty a'ight. I think I'd like them more if I'd started them younger.

19. "Cascade" - Lisa T. Bergren

The back of the book sounded cool.

20. "The Forgotten Locket" - Lisa Mangum

I don't remember why I want to read this. But, hey, it's on the list. So there ya go.

21. "Steel" - Carrie Vaugn

The cover on Amazon looks terrible, kind of reminds me of a cheesy, badly-written, trashy, medieval sex flick, so I'm wondering what drew me to this. And honestly, the description sounds generic as heck. But we'll see. Eventually.

22. "HIVE" -

My friend is letting me borrow this book. So I kind of, like, HAVE to read it or I'm a bad friend.

23. "Daddy" -

It's on our bookshelf {we have like 2000 books, and that's not an exaggeration} and my dad says it's good. So I'll prolly read it sometime maybe.

24. "Paradise Lost" by John Milton

I love this book a lot. It just takes time to read, which I don't always have. But I LOVE "Paradise Lost" and one of these days I'm actually going to finish it.

25. "Clockwork Prince" by Cassandra Clare

It comes out on December 6 of this year, and I am SO FREAKING EXCITED. {If you plan to read this book, email me first so I can tell you to read these other books first or it will RUIN EVERYTHING.}

~Stephanie

Book Review: Tex

Title: “Tex”
Author: S.E. Hinton
Stars: 5
Less-Than-500-Word Review in Short: “Tex” is a heartwarming story with a tight, yet extremely unpredictable plot line; absolutely phenomenal characters; humor; and great insight into peoples’ lives.

Back-of-the-Book: “Easygoing and reckless Tex likes everyone and everything, especially his horse, Negrito, and Johnny Collins’s blue-eyed sister, Jamie. Life with his older brother, Mason, would be just about perfect if only Mace would stop complaining about Pop, who hasn’t been home in five months. While Mason worries about paying the bills and getting a basketball scholarship—his ticker out of Oklahoma—Tex just seems to attract trouble. Can he find a way to keep things together when everything seems to be falling apart?”

I Say: As with most books, this back-of-the-book description hardly does the story justice. I’ve read all of S.E. Hinton’s books except for “Star Runner”, and this one is my very favorite. S.E. Hinton always has the kind of characters that MUST exist out there somewhere and her plots are gripping. However, sometimes she lets her characters play a bigger role than the actual story, which can make for a loosey-goosey plotline.

In “Tex,” she finally found the secret combination of incredible characters AND a tight storyline.

You know how…

…with some books, you can read the whole thing and not “feel” the characters? By page 14 of “Tex,” I felt I’d known him since kindergarten.

…some books are good, but it’s not a big deal when you have to put it down? I left dinner to finish “Tex.”

…when authors try to do “heartwarming,” it’s cheesy? With “Tex,” some things were so sweet that I actually aww’d out loud, and yet it wasn’t forced or cheesy at all. It was like Hinton didn’t want to draw your attention to the aww-aspect. To be honest, you don’t even think about the fact that Hinton wrote the book. It’s written from Tex’s point of view, and you really believe it’s him telling the story.

…some book plots are more or less original, but you can still see everything coming? “Tex” is so realistic, yet so personal, that I felt I was watching real life, where absolutely anything goes. “Tex” is one of the most unpredictable book I’ve ever read, but the plot was still well-planned. Sometimes when authors go for “unpredictable,” the story ends up ridiculous, filled with SHOCKING CLIMAX after SHOCKING CLIMAX. “Tex” wasn’t like that.

I Liked:
- Tex has an older brother
- Deep characters
- Unpredictable
- Realistic situations

I Didn’t Like:
- I’m normally very critical, but I can’t think of anything I just “didn’t like” about “Tex.” I can’t even pull the “I-Didn’t-Like-That-It-Had-To-End” card because I thought Hinton ended it at a perfect place.

Audience: I think anyone could love this book. Just about any stereotype I can think of has a good chance of getting into it. (If you read it and hate it, lemme know.) I wouldn’t recommend it for kids under 12 or 13 (depending on the kid), just for the drug references and some situations.

Read "Tex." I give you a 99.9% guarantee you won't be sorry.

Books I've Read This Year

1. The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan

1 star

I had heard of it and decided to give it a shot. There went 4 hours of my life I'll never get back. This book majorly sucked.

2. Tex by S. E. Hinton

5 stars

I love S.E. Hinton and decided to check out Tex. Best book decision ever. This book is absolute gold. It's definitely one of the best things I've ever read. {I'm reviewing it tomorrow, so stick around.}

3. Incarceron by

3 stars

Pretty interesting read. The concept of a mechanical prison with artificial intelligence is fascinating, but it's not 100% well-executed IMO. It's sometimes difficult for the reader to catch on.

4. Across the Universe by Beth Revis

3 and a half stars

I liked this book a lot, but nothing about it stands out. It's a good, well-told story, but a little forgettable and I didn't quite "get" the ending.

5. No Promises in the Wind by Irene Hunt

3 and a half stars

This Great Depression-themed book had been sitting on my shelf for years, and I'd just never gotten around to it. I ended up liking it more than I thought {probably because there's a lot of older-brother-little-brother stuff}, but I probably won't read it again.

6. Her Fearful Symmetry - Audrey Niffenegger

3 stars

The beginning of this book left me in awe; the style was absolutely beautiful; I would read sentences over again just because I liked them. But then the story got too long, and really strange, and the "big secret" it promises isn't really as exciting as I expected. It's interesting though.

7. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

4 stars

Everyone is reading this books nowadays, and they deserve the publicity. Collins created a gripping and unique story line with leap-off-the-page-real characters. The trilogy is for SURE worth reading, so it's weird that they aren't some of my favorite books. I really can't put my finger on why.

8. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins

4 stars

This is the sequel to Hunger Games, and it's basically just as good. In the beginning I feared it would just be a nitty-grittier repeat of the first book, but Collins saved it. It's quite good.

9. City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare

3 stars

This is the beginning to the second trilogy of "Mortal Instruments" books. If you think that sounds confusing, it's because it is. I wish Cassandra Clare had just stopped with the original trilogy, because they were absolutely FANTASTICALLY AWESOME and I hate it when writers take things too far. In City of Fallen Angels, I feel like Clare has lost touch with her characters {especially my beloved Jace!}, so the book is just eh. But read them anyway. 'Cause deep down I think they still rock.

10. Guys are Waffles, Girls are Spaghetti by

This book is kinda cool. It's just informational basically, about how girls and guys think differently. I just skimmed the book and got what I want out of it. You should too.

11. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

4 stars

This is the final book in the Hunger Games trilogy. I sobbed, which is pretty much rare for me. Actually, I'm pretty sure this book made me cry harder than any other book ever. It was great. Just GREAT.

12. Fortune by Erica Spindler

2 stars

I was bored at our beach house, it was on the shelf. It's a pretty strange, sensual, sadistic story. I really liked pieces of it because the main character has an older brother-like figure, but mostly it just made me feel dirty and the writing wasn't even good.

13. Divergent by Veronica Roth

3 stars

This was a pretty cool book. Good ideas, pretty well-done. For some reason I didn't really "connect" to the story, but it might just be me. Maybe if I read it again I'd like it more.

14. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

4 stars

I seriously liked this book a lot. It's engaging, extremely well-written, thought-provoking and real. I liked the characters and the setting and the whole thing was just super well-done. Definitely recommend it.

15 Theogony by Hesiod

4 stars

A really fascinating read XD Nothing like ancient literature to spice up your bookshelf. I actually love Greek literature, and this was no different. Hesiod has a way with words, and learning where all the gods came from is just really cool to me.

~Stephanie

Book Review: Fall of a Kingdom

Thanks for following, Lex and Luna! Hope you enjoy Book Week :D

Title: Fall of a Kingdom {The Farsala Trilogy}

Author: Hilari Bell
Stars: 4.5
Less-Than-500-Word Review in Short: This Arabian-style story of war goes deeper than just battle strategy as you explore character, morality, and what really separates you from your enemy.
Back-of-the-Book: “Stories are told of a hero who will come to Farsala’s aid when the need is greatest. But for thousands of years the prosperous land of Farsala has felt no such need, as it has enjoyed the peace that comes from being both feared and respected.

“Now a new enemy approaches Farsala’s boarders, one that neither fears nor respects its name and legend. But the rulers of Farsala still believe that they can beat any opponent.

“Three young people are less sure of Farsala’s invincibility. Jiaan, Soraya and Kavi see Time’s Wheel turning, with Farsala headed towards the Flames of Destruction. What they cannot see is how inextricably their lives are linked to Farsala’s fate—until it’s too late.”

I Say: Judging by the back of the book, I expected the story to be a pretty generic tale of politics, “unlikely” friends and magic riddled with odd superstition.

I was wrong.

“Fall of a Kingdom” is the beginning of possibly the most beautifully crafted story I have ever read. Hilari Bell presents an organized but natural plot woven with characters that immediately settle into your soul. She manages the perfect balance between personal conflict and war, being brilliant at both character development and battle strategy.

As a writer I aspire to be just like her: skilled at both incredible characters and realistic situations. I don’t mean to be sexist, but Hilari Bell describes war and constructs believable tactics amazingly well for a girl. Maybe it’s just her secret area of interest, but I can only HOPE to be able to do what she does.

“Fall of a Kingdom” is thought-provoking, engaging, inspiring, unique, believable, and—of course—impeccably well-written.

I also love Kavi. Like, a lot.

I Liked:
- Arabian-esque setting
- Well-developed characters
- Thought-provoking moral and political struggles
- Tight plotline

I Didn’t Like:
- You all should know by now that I am one critical chica, but the only thing I can say I didn’t like about the trilogy is that it had to end. The Farsala books are some of the few that I feel I NEED to read periodically just because I miss the characters.

Audience: Nothing in “Fall of a Kingdom” is really inappropriate, although there’s some extremely mild language and occasional sexual insinuations. However, while this book is extremely well-done and I love it, if it’s not your thing, it’s just not. Don’t expect to love it if your idea of reading is “Gossip Girl,” or even “The Mortal Instruments,” which are great. “Fall of a Kingdom” is geared toward readers who like this sort of ancient kingdom setting.

~Stephanie

What Makes a Good Book?

Anyone who's seen "The Sound of Music" knows that the beginning is the very best place to start. So, when I'm getting ready to spend six days ranting about good books, I figure I should begin by defining that term.

{My left temple is twitching. That has nothing to do with this whatsoever, it's just really weird.}

Personally, I'm a book snob. Does this narrow my field of enjoyment? Yes. Does it make me a better judge of what's actually good literature?

I think so. But that might just be the snob talking.

For me, a good book must have three main qualities:

1. A good plot. {Tight, realistic, timeless, moral.}

This is just a must, and it can go so wrong in so many different ways. You have the...

To simple: Sarah must rescue her dog. And so she spends the whole book, um, rescuing her dog. The end.

To complicated: Sarah's father used to have this dog when he was a kid that came from a lab in the future, but when his psychopathic grandfather created a time warp and send the dog back, he got lost and Sarah found him but now he's run away only he somehow had futuristic genes and so he's a hippo now and Sarah has to track him across the ocean because he also acquired gills and the power of speech but secretly the grandfather is now back and he's getting together with Sarah's sister, which is obviously gross because Sarah's sister is engaged to the owner of Sarah's dog's groomer, who Sarah is in love with but he's also a mad scientist and--

See?

Unrealistic: The villain spends the whole book being an asshole, then conveniently has a change of heart and everything becomes hunky dory.

Inconsistent: The kind of story that has loose ends that drive you crazy because there's no good explanation for them.

Stupid: I don't think I have to explain this one. Some stories were just not meant to be told.

2. Good characters. {Enjoyable, real, well-developed, unique.}

This is probably my #1 most important quality in a book. If your plot sucks and you can't write, at least make me love your characters. That's actually a lot harder than it sounds, I think, because the characters must be...

Realistic - No one is an asshole for no reason, just like the villain doesn't give up assholery because you can't figure out how to end the story.

Original - The shy girl who's beautiful but doesn't know it and wants the hot guy to look at her. NAWWWWWWWW. Never met HER before.

Unpredictable - Let me guess. The girl shows a sign of "unexpected" courage and the boy notices her. I see. {And have seen since about page four.}

Engaging - If it's the main character, you have to be rooting for him/her. If it's the sidekick, you have to be feeling his/her struggle. If it's the villain, you have to be outraged/terrified/fascinated by his/her schemes.

Appreciable - You have to appreciate the character. Notice I didn't say "like" them. Hopefully you will hate the villain {although we writers sometimes like them because they represent good writing XD}, but you have to appreciate what a good job the author did on them.

Well-developed - If you character is realistic, original, unpredictable, engaging and appreciable but you don't really "get" them {and never do}, they still suck. You have to know why the character is the way he is, how he got there, what he cares about, his past, his hopes, his pet-peeves, his weaknesses. The character has to be a real, multidimensional, complex PERSON or he's nothing.

3. Good writing.

Of course, "good writing" has a lot to do with qualities 1 and 2, but what I mean is that the author has to have a way with words. It's as simple as that, but definitely more complicated than it sounds. It can be little things, like the way they make you see the room without spelling it out, or more obvious things like sentence structure. If every sentence is SUBJECT VERB DIRECT-OBJECT, it's boring as hell.

{Sarah looked at the dog. She walked to the dog. She bent down to the dog. She said to the dog, "Here boy." She put the leash on the dog.

Bleck.}

The author needs to show and not tell, but we've all heard that before. Don't say Johnny was angry, say he drew his brows down in a narrow-eyed glare.

And then you have times when the author needed to just, er, shut up. The author has to realize that sometimes, LESS IS MORE. I love Cornelia Funke's "Inkheart," but she went down hill with "Inkspell" and absolutely lost it in "Inkdeath." Somehow she confused explaining the setting with giving the reader twenty years of backstory including every characters' facial twitch, sock color and greeting exchange. "Inkdeath" could literally have been half its size in my opinion.

Cut the fluff. It's annoying.

And there you have it. The three qualities that I say define "good books." I think this post might be very jumbled and possibly woefully incomplete, but it's quite late, and I have an early day tomorrow.

~Stephanie

Book Week

Hi.

I know. Normally when I start out by saying "hi," it means I'm going to tell you that I'm not going to post. But that's not the case this time. This time, I'm actually just saying Hi. So.

Hi.

I was thinking about lists today, which is something I do a lot. I was thinking that I should have a List Week on Pandora, but then I got to thinking, "Right. List 'Week.' To get all your crud in you'd have to make it list MONTH, and then by that time you'd have a least four or five more little gems to share. Right. List Week."

I decided that List Week was a little too broad. So what did I do?

I made a list of all the categories of lists that I could pick from--

Haha, just kidding. {Although to be honest, that idea is tempting me like no one's business right now. Damn. I might actually do that. And then you could pick which one interests you the most--no. Nonononono. No.}

Actually I just decided to do Book Week instead, and it won't all be lists. I'll have a few lists in there, and a few book reviews on stuff I've been reading. {Or, if school decides to do that cool thing where it swallows me whole, I'll publish some OLD book reviews I wrote. Yeah, I'm that...lazy.}

So, I hope you like to read, and if you don't, I hope you at least have fun reading Pandora this week and making snarky comments to yourself about how reading is such an excruciating chore and you can't believe someone as beautiful and smart as me hasn't figured that out yet.

:D

~Stephanie

Books That Everyone Should Read

I saw this on Facebook. Hopefully we've already established the fact that I'm a total bibliophile, so this particular list grabbed my attention. It's called {as you hopefully gathered from the title} "Books That Everyone Should Read."

So yeah.

I was pretty dang pleased to discover I had read several of them, more than a lot of other kids my age. So that was a good excuse to pat myself on the back and watch my head inflate a few more inches.

Maybe you can show me up. I could use some humility today. I'm in a Mood.

Books That Everyone Should Read {not in any particular order}:

{The ones I've read are in bold.}

1. Narnia
2. Ender’s Game
3. Heart of Darkness
4. 1984
5. To Kill A Mocking Bird
6. Watership Down
7. All Quieto n the Western Front
8. Harry Potter
9. Fahrenheit 451
10. Of Mice and Men
11. Animal Farm
12. The Three Musketeers
13. Les Miserables
14. Lord of the Rings
15. A Clockwork Orange
16. Lord of the Flies
17. The Grapes of Wrath
18. Twilight
19. Don Quixote
20. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

21. Wuthering Heights
22. A Farwell to Arms
23. Life of Pi
24. The Invisible Man
25. Brave New World
26. Frankenstein
27. Dune
28. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

29. Siddhartha
30. The Hobbit
31. Crime and Punishment

32. Dracula
33. The Little Prince
34. The Scarlet Letter
35. One Flew Over the Cukoo’s Nest
36. Gone with the Wind
37. Little Women
38. The Bell Jar
39. The Jungle
40. The Handmaid’s Tale
41. The DaVinci Code
42. Kite Runner
43. The Wind in the Willows
44. Slaughterhouse-Five
45. A Tale of Two Cities
46. The Color Purple
47. Pictures of Dorian Gray
48. Jane Eyre
49. The Old Man and the Sea
50. East of Eden

I have so much more to read. It's crazy. How are there so many books out there? So many stories, thoughts, ideas? People are such incredible beings, wouldn't you agree?

~Stephanie