What Started As a Fragment, Has Ended in Roommate Sap

It's been a long time since I just talked here, since I didn't wait for a coherent idea or a fun question to wrestle with or a bunch of sappiness about Gem. I don't have any complete thoughts to share with you, just a lot of...well, fragments. At least I think they are fragments. You know how I get when I write: one thought will sometimes keep unfolding before my fingers until it's a real post. Right?

~ In three days, I will move into college for the last time. I know everyone always says this, but seriously, how was it three whole years ago that I moved in as a freshman? I was so...unhappy. I wasn't excited to be going to Campbell at all. I was mad at the perceived failure of not going to Wake Forest. I was jaded by my weird romantic relationship. I was lost in my spiritual life. It was awful. You could not pay me enough money to go back to freshman year.

{Of course, my roommate, Bekah, was actually awesome. We went to bed at the same time, watched the same TV shows, liked the room at the same temperature, listened to the same music, needed the same motivation to go to the gym. She was gorgeous and funny and did not care for drama. I'm convinced it was the most successful random roommate pairing of all time. But other than her, life as a freshman mostly sucked.}

But now? Now I am Happy.

My suite mates are the college girl friends everyone promised I would find. They're the people who will go with me to Walmart at 2 o'clock in the morning because I need frozen pizza. They're the people who will just sit down in the hallway with me and hang out there because I'm too stressed and depressed to make it to the living room. They're the people who I can take stupid BuzzFeed quizzes with for hours. They're the people whose opinions matter to me, whether about my earrings or my dinner decision or my boyfriend.

I hope I will be friends with them for the rest of my life; but if I'm not, if we drift apart and fall out of contact, I will never forget them. I will look back on "college" and hear us laughing and feel us walking across campus and remember us dancing and smile at our late night talks.

Gosh, I'm going to miss them. I'm going to miss congregating in one our rooms to pick out clothes for the next day. I'm going to miss "family dinners" where Harley makes chicken or spaghetti and the rest of us throw together some sides. I'm going to miss movie nights where we talk over most of the dialogue. I'm going to miss messing with each other and memorizing all the weird quirks and habits to make living together as easy as possible.

Harley doesn't let anyone touch her blankets.
Allison wears camis under everything, even T-shirts.
Mary is always cold.
Harley loves Captain America.
Allison loves Ed Sheeran.
Mary loves Baby Groot.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is. Reminiscing, I guess. But it could also serve as a reminder to y'all and to my future self that things get better. Freshman year sucked. But I didn't run away; I stuck it out, and my life is beautiful now.

If I had left Campbell, every single thing about my life would be different. I wouldn't have my suite mates, I probably wouldn't be dating Gem, and I wouldn't have had such amazing professors and therefore an amazing education. I wouldn't have had the same internships or tutoring experience or copy editing position at the paper.

Everything is worth it. My one real regret in life, the one thing I've said I would change (not getting into Wake Forest) has ceased to be a regret. It is hard to say that given a do-over I wouldn't apply to Wake Forest. But it is a no-brainer to say that I am overjoyed to have gone to Campbell.

Senior year, I'm {getting} ready for you.

~Stephanie

 Freshman

 Sophomore

 Junior

 A few weeks ago XD

Fragments XIV

~ I definitely just had to double-check the Roman numeral for "fourteen."

~ Also, I think this should actually be Thirteenth. Damn. Guess you're not getting a thirteen. Or maybe I'll slip thirteen in somewhere later, like in between thirty-six and thirty-seven for no reason.

~ I woke up today to a bleeding inner lip. Apparently that soft bit of flesh had been crush between my teeth for hours. It seems wrong that your body would hurt itself like that while you were unconscious. Isn't it supposed to, like...NOT do that?

~ I went clubbing last night, Thursday night. I woke up for my 9am today, went to class, and came right back to bed. Didn't get up til about 1 o'clock, so like forty minutes ago. I'm debating whether or not I'm going to Latin in twenty minutes. The professor never takes attendance and rarely stays on the topic of Latin anyway. I probably won't go. I might go get a coffee.

~ My best-friend-at-college Gerard's and my relationship just got weirder, in that it's still not weird. We had this talk last night wherein we confessed that we care about each other in an incredibly deep, different way, but mutually agreed that we can't/won't/shouldn't date. I don't want to date him. He doesn't want to date me. We just love each other in this unusual, mind-blowing, weird way. Something about it feels really noble. He said it felt Shakespearean and jokingly blamed me for it. "You're the English major. This has to be your fault."

~ I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard I was the one forcing a relationship into a bad place XD At least Gerard realizes that that's a joke.

~ I've been watching the TV show "The Following" on Netflix. If you like books, mysteries, thing that give you chills, Kevin Bacon, or Poe, you will like this show. So far, it's my favorite post-Breaking Bad show.

~ My church is doing a connection project/experiment. On Easter Sunday, someone from my church is going to approach me and ask 1) How God is working my life, 2) What goals I'm working toward, and 3) How the church can help. I'm a little anxious about this. I'm not in a terrible place God-wise, but I'm not very dedicated or connected, and I honestly believe that no one can help me with what I'm currently struggling with.

~ The word "with" is starting to sound like gibberish in my head. It's one of those words whose meaning easily deteriorates with mental repetition.

~ Sometimes I hit something on my keyboard that makes all my symbols mixed up. My question mark will be an underscore; my open parenthesis will be an asterisk. I have no clue what I press to cause this, and Google had not been helpful either.

~ I just ran out of paper with one page to go on my international relations report. After freaking out about what to do at midnight the night before the paper is due in hard copy at 9am, I went across the hall and asked my neighbor for some paper. She was naked, but she had paper. Score.

~ I just saw a girl eating an apple upside down. Why would someone do that?

~ I found just found THIS. And even though this post won't go up til May, right now, April 23, it's helpful. Unfortunately, I'll probably forget about it before it's time to write another paper.

~ Stephanie

Fragments XII

- For me, one of the hardest things in the world is trying to do homework in the library basement. On one hand, it's quiet and studious and easy to concentrate. However, it's like I can hear the books around me breathing, whispering, listening, looking. It's like a thousand papery minds looking over my shoulders. I hear their thoughts and ideas murmuring around me and it is so damn difficult not to walk over and pick one up.

- PC texted me the other day, saying that if I ever needed anything, he would never ignore me. For the first time in months, I actually texted back, saying that I appreciated it and if he ever needed something specific from me, I'd do what I could. The irony? He ignored the text XD *adds nail to friendship coffin*

- Gerard told me that I can't go clubbing now that I have a boyfriend. Well, what he actually said was "I don't think your man would approve" when I suggested the two of us go out again.  Is he right? *sigh* Either he is, or it's one of those "It's-Different-For-Every-Couple-You'll-Have-To-Ask-Your-Boyfriend" things. I hate those things.

-The immediate difference in my mood once warm weather hits is astounding. Every year I'm surprised.

- I've had the song "Drop It Low" stuck in my head for probably five days now. I kind of like it. It gives me an unexplainable confidence.

- Is anyone else bewildered and disgusted by the slough of girls who love anchors because they symbolize refusal to sink in the storm of life? Do they not know what anchors do?

- Remember Yahoo!Avatars? I just now did. Good times. I used to spend way too long messing with my avatar's hair and clothes etc... I created an avatar for all the female characters in the Fire Fairy story. {I used to be kind of single-minded ;)}

- My Milton professor is still hot. {My family + Cassidy and I call him SMP:  Sexy Milton Professor.} I got to meet with him one-on-one the other day. His eyes are extremely blue and they sparkle. They actually. sparkle. And we interact like friends, bouncing off each other's ideas and amicably interrupting and getting these looks of excited inspiration. He's so young for a professor. But he has a son old enough to watch Sid the Science Kid. How old does that make him?

I am going to Google him. {...aaaaaaand that sounded so much more sexual than I intended.}

- He got his Ph.D. in 2011. So, graduate college at 22; two more years for master's degree would put him at 24; I'm gonna give him 4-6 years to get a Ph.D. Soooo, I can pretend with relative legitimacy that he might be under thirty.

Wait, NO. That would make him under thirty as of 2011. That was three years ago. Gah, he's like Jesus-Begins-Ministry aged now. *siiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

Not that ANY of this matters because he's married with a kid and I have negative a million genuine interest in ever being involved with a professor. But he's hot and I'm avoiding an international relations paper, so...yeah.

- Maybe a Pinterest pin called "50 Ways to Organize Every Room in Your House" fills some people with excitement, but it causes my eyes to widen in horror. I get overwhelmed by ice cream flavors, and that's a simple decision for immediate use. Don't even get me STARTED on things involving color.  "50 Ways" per hypothetical house room just sounds like a nightmare to me.

- I'm building up my tolerance of spicy food. It's already relatively high, but jalapenos can still pose a challenge if I eat a ton of them in a row. So I've taken to eating a ton of them in a row. I do like them.

- Gerard is definitely my best friend here at college. All the kind of "college moments" I expected to have as a child involve him. The midnight pizza runs, the talks by the fountain, the putting him between me and sketchy guys at clubs. You know last night we went to Raleigh and drove to the very top of a parking garage and got out of the car and just looked at the city. The night was mild and clear and breezy. We looked down at all the tiny people and talked about how funny it was that everyone had just as complete a backstory as us.

There were stars and city lights and the deepest feeling of mutual understanding I think I've ever felt. It was breathtakingly beautiful and almost a little confusing. We just stood there, perfectly comfortable, with our souls set quietly out in the open. I've been happy lots of times, but that night is a happiness I know I'll never forget.

~Stephanie

Fragments XI

~ There's some ironic incongruity about writing a cover letter while listening to Jay-Z's "Clique."

~ I have the world's saddest eyelashes. You can almost literally count them.

~ Remember when I referenced a head versus heart dispute that Gem and I had senior year? Well, OH MY GOSH GUYS, apparently I blogged about it. THIS post is about Gem o_o Made my night to find this XD

~ I'm giving up Facebook for Lent. It is only twelve hours into Lent {and I was asleep for eight of them} and I'm already struggling. This is almost as sad as my eyelashes.

~ I bought two high-low dresses yesterday. I'm madly in love with both of them. They look amazing with black leggings and combat boots.

~ You know what annoys me more than a lot of things when I'm at home? My mother. Don't get me wrong, our relationship has improved a ton since I was in high school, but seriously? This woman. One of her favorite things to do is ask me what I'm doing. Like, I will be standing at the counter with a bowl in my hand, tipping a box of cereal towards it, and she'll come up behind me and ask what I'm doing. Oh, you know, just adding to Mount Rushmore. I'M HAVING CEREAL, WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?

~ I am the only person who isn't over-thinking my date tomorrow night. Ever since I got asked out on Monday, people have been panicking over what I should wear; if I should have backup choices to change into if he shows up in a radically different style from what I'm wearing; if I should text him and ASK what he's wearing; if the eczema on my face is going to be embarrassing; if we'll have enough to talk about; if he's going to bring me flowers; whether or not he's tall enough for me to wear heels; etc, etc, etc. Honestly, I'm not nervous. We already like each other. We're friends. This isn't a getting-to-know-you, first-impressions-are-everything, make-sure-you-don't-do-THAT kind of first date. It's going to be just fine.

~ Um, read the "Reasons Why I Have Never Written to Santa" in THIS post. Apparently I used to hate writing letters? I don't remember that at all. But apparently I did.

~ 18 years of being a dancer is starting to have all sorts of effects I knew were coming but never wanted to believe:  painful, bad knees; hips that crack loudly; bony feet; and--as always--small boobs. Woo! Worth it? Um, yes. No regrets.

~ Or "ragrets," if you will. I really liked that movie XD

~ I am in the room with my sister and a male. I have been talking and doing things worthy of note, and the boy is choosing to pay 100% of his attention to my sister. I haven't been looked at in ten minutes. It is one of the strangest and coolest experiences I've ever had.

~ "The most dangerous risk of all:  the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet that you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later." My friend Gerard needs to hear this.

~ Gem likes me way more than I was prepared for. It's scaring me.

~ I've been writing bios and a first post and stuff for my potential new "public" blog. I come across arrogant as hell every single time. Like, I kinda am, but 90% of the time, I'm being sarcastic. You guys know that. Readers Of New Blog won't. *headdesk* Whatever.

~ Read THIS. It's an adorable poem and it almost made me cry. {You might have to scroll down a little and click "Read Anyway" or "Continue to Poem" or something. The link is from my own Stumbleupon account.

~Stephanie

Fragments X

~ If you eat Red Hots like three at a time for about fifteen minute straight, your tongue hurts and your nose starts to run. Or so I hear. {Also, your cheeks turn pink.}

~ I'm kind of excited about all these "Bible" movies coming out. "Noah," "Exodus," and "Son of God"... It's interesting. Whether or not you're religious, Bible stories make epic movies.

~ But let's actually give "Exodus" its own tilde. Have you seen the cast? CHRISTIAN BALE AS MOSES AND AARON PAUL AS JOSHUA. CAN WE JUST...TAKE A MOMENT, PLEASE? OH MY GOSH. I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS EXCITED SINCE...I FOUND OUT JGL WAS GONNA BE IN "THE DARK KNIGHT RISES." AND I WAS PRETTY DAMN EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

~ I've recently been convinced to watch horror movies. I never have before, because I'm a chicken and my parents always told me about how scarred they were by watching a horror movie and how they wish they could take it back. But then my friend James pointed out that I liked to be scared, I like having nightmares, and violence doesn't bother me. I have literally the ideal personality for watching horror movies. So I've started. And have yet to be scared by Saw I or II, The Ring, Sinister, or Mama. Anthony has promised The Conjuring soon.

~ Red Hots update:  It also makes your teeth feel sensitive when you breathe in through your mouth sharply.

 ~ I like scarves and earrings now. Just in case any of you plan to send me late birthday gifts. I also still like Batman, in case that was ever in question.

~ I'm afraid that I've forgotten how to have a crush. I definitely don't have one on Anthony {who is single again, and asking me out. Mur.}. I might have one on a guy who's in my phone as "UB." I don't know. It'd be easier if I knew whether or not he liked me. I know this is going to sound conceited as hell, but I've never seriously wanted someone who didn't like me first.

~ Also, Aaron Paul is in this KoRn music video. So. Yeah. That's one more point for Aaron Paul, and one more point for KoRn. I love my life right now.

~ I always feel awkward labeling one of my posts "Funny." Isn't that kind of like laughing at your own joke?

I'm in a weird mood. I think it's all the free time I have this week. I get to look out the window and eat meals and, like...not sit at my desk for 14 hours a day. Annnnyway. I'll just go now.

~ Stephanie

Inside My Head

Verbatim, things I've said to myself today...

Yes, bouncing your leg in class gives off exactly the laid-back-and-fun vibe you were going for. Let's keep THAT up.

O.o What have you done? You actually look cute today. Good...good job.

Hey, so I know you probably don't know this, but you're not really supposed to wave scissors near your eyes like that.

It's cool that you get to control the temperature of your room here. That way you get to blame yourself when you're freezing all the time.

I have to find someone to travel the world with.

Stop. Just because you know when the Reformation started doesn't make you a better person than he is. ...except you still think it does, so whatever.

Apparently you picked the major with no attractive people whatsoever. How are you the only non-gross English student?



"Call Me" is painfully perfect. Maybe Shinedown is one of those bands whose songs will always mean more to me as I grow up and "get" life more.

Really? Sexy Milton Professor ALSO teaches Brit Lit I? ...is this good or bad?

How can Bekah do anything intelligent with Pranked on in the background? My brain is melting.

Huh. I must just be too old to go clubbing with freshman. I kind of feel like shooting myself.

~Stephanie

Fragments IX

~ Today I looked at the space bar on my keyboard and noticed that it was only worn down on the the left side. Upon watching myself type, I have determined that I only use the space bar with my left thumb. How weird.

~ I had an odd reaction of -_- and laughter every time I see that Blue dog food commercial where the woman starts off with, "It takes a lot to get me angry. But I was furious when I read my dog's food bag and saw that chicken byproduct was the first ingredient." Really? It takes a lot to make you angry? And THAT is what pushes you over the edge?

~ I'm really glad that our culture seems to be leaning towards accepting/appreciating tattoos. Adults are always telling us that they give a bad impression and we'll regret them when we're older. Well, all those judgmental people will be gone soon, and then we can all express and love ourselves through ink.

~ Upon doing research for my literature exam, I kind of really want to name a daughter after an obscure literary term. Like Aisling or Arsis or Autelic(a). What? No? Aw.

~ Justin Bieber has decided to quit singing? Yeah. It's not like singing is his whole career. It's not like it's his dream. It's not like he's made movies about it. It's not like he pulls publicity stunts like this just to get attention. Nahhhh. He's really gonna quit.

~ I wrote another story that's coming true, and it's really not a good thing. I'm not sure if I should feel guilty, or enlightened. It's definitely making life hard.

~ "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." ~ Voltaire. Yeah, A&E. And really, are you surprised that Phil Robertson doesn't sympathize with the homosexual population?

~Stephanie

Fragments VIII

~ Sometimes I'm struck with sudden paranoia that someone can hear my thoughts. A stranger will give me a look of {probably unintentional} knowing, and I'm just like, "Oh my gosh. He can hear me. This is it. He's the one that books and movies talk about." However, to my knowledge, these random fits of delusion have never been accurate.

~ KoЯn's newest album, The Paradigm Shift, is really good.

~ I'm supposed to be going to see Thor today. We'll see.

~ I've seen couples on Facebook lately celebrating anniversaries or month-iversaries by posting their first picture together. Is that normal? I have no clue what pictures with anyone were my first.

~ Today
Bekah:  *nods at radiator* "Did Sam mess with your magnetic letters?"
Me:  o_o *whirls to look at letters* ... *sees expletive* "Oh no!" *knocks the F away and scrambles to find a D or a B or and L* "Saaaaam."
...
*we both collapse laughing*

~ Duck Dynasty makes me so happy. It's so funny and wholesome. It's one of my favorite things ever. I would like a Duck Dynasty sweatshirt, if any of you were thinking of sending me an early Christmas present. {Because I'm already certain that all of you are planning to give me timely Christmas gifts.}

~ Today I learned that it's possible to give birth to twins with different baby daddies. I don't really know how to feel about this information, but I'm pretty sure I'm fascinated and my mind is blown.

~ Dear You Know Who You Are, Dexter is back on Netflix.

~ Bekah refers to people who have one white parent and one black parent as "mixed." I haven't heard that term much, and it sounds rude and degrading to me. One of my best friends growing up had a white mom and an African-American dad. We always said she was "half-black," as did she herself. Does anyone know the preferred term for this situation? Does it depend? Is "mixed" as rude as it sounds to me?

~ Even though it's been like three years since I even remember this song was a thing, I woke up this morning with THIS playing through my head. What in the world.

~Stephanie

Fragments VII

~ After having to go through six million posts every time I want to write a Fragments post so I'll know what number it is, I have finally created a label called "Fragments." Brilliant.

~ Carrying a case of water bottles up to my dorm room makes me Level 8 angry. More on that later.

~ The horrifying moment when I scan my Facebook newsfeed and see more girls dressing up their babies for Halloween than their pets.

~ I've always sworn I wouldn't marry someone in the military.  Don't get me wrong, I have so much respect for them. They can't be thanked and honored enough. However, I'm entirely too selfish to have a husband who's in the military. The worry, the loneliness, the moving around... No.

~ When I get really uncomfortable or worried or have to try really hard around people, my legs actually break out in hives. It's horrid.

~ An adult messaged me on Facebook the other day saying that a photo I shared "used the F- word." It took me ten full minutes of scanning and searching and clicking on photos to figure out that the aforementioned photo had come from the "I fucking love science" page. The "F- word" was not contained in the photo, but in the understated tag that gives its origin. The actual photo was hilarious and perfectly clean. I did not respond to the message. I still don't know what to say.

~ Okay, I just responded. I said "Oh, I definitely didn't notice that when I shared it! I'm very sorry."

~ I always wonder how inappropriately a student has to dress before a professor says something to her. Is there a policy? Does it depend on the professor? How would that even go?

~ Every time I hear the word "penetrate," I hear "Notttttt a good enough reason to use the word 'penetrate'" in my head.

~ I just turned in a paper that's been dominating my life for a week, and my mind for a month. Ha. Lle. Lu. Jah.

~ Spelling "hallelujah" is hard enough when it's not punctuated syllabically.

~ I think I just made up a word.

~ I think I should sleep.

~ I think PC is visiting today.

~ Actually, I'm mostly positive that he is, I just wanted to keep parallel sentence structure.

~ Stephanie

Fragments VI

- This flight announcer guy sounds exactly like Christoph Waltz. Like...I swear it's him. I wonder if it could be?

- It makes me smirk when people talk about "dancer bodies." It sounds good, but it really means big feet and a small chest.

- Apparently, it's technically legal for women to go topless in North Carolina.

- I think it's really important for kids to know how to set a table correctly.

- All my college friends have received their dorm room assignments except me. Why? It would seem that my application "didn't get completed." However, I got email confirmation that it had gone through, and it's a fact that the housing system got screwed up in May. If I end up without a residence or a good roommate, I will be pissed and out of luck. A lot of times, I really hate my school.

- Little families make me really happy.

- So do young married couples. But they also make me irritated. Old married couples are the best. They're so content and adorable. Gah.

- ...I get mushy sometimes.

- Rarely.

- But apparently it happens.

- I will never have an inside dog. I might really like the dog {Gilbert <3}, but after drying off with a clean towel and coming out covered in dog fur, I've redrawn the line and decorated it with barbed wire and land mines.

- I really hope we get on this flight. Flying standby is great, but you do get what you pay for.

~Stephanie

Fragments V

- I can never spell the words maintenance, privilege, or potato. {Always maintainance, priveledge, and potatoe}

- One of the most frustrating things in the world to me is when there is a set plan, and yet when the time comes to act, someone says, "So, what do you wanna do?" Like, I did everything I could to make sure I didn't have to hear that question. Why are you trying to destroy this experience?

- I find the phrase "ape shit" irrationally hilarious.

- The other day, Anna asked me a question about Sam's and my relationship, then immediately said, "Ah, I'm sorry. I don't want to upset you." Kirsten {a friend from high school} over heard Anna and laughed. Anna looked baffled til Kirsten said, "Oh, Stephanie doesn't get emotional."

- Is it just me, or does whistling always sound masculine?

- A week or so ago, I started Hiding/Unliking all the Facebook pages that post pictures and memes all the time. I was hesitant to do so, because some of them are really funny and worth sharing and help me avoid school work. However, I don't regret my clean newsfeed in the slightest. I don't know what I'm missing, and I'm so okay with that.

- I wanted cereal today and all my bowls and spoons were dirty. Did I wash them? No. I ate cereal right out of the box.

- Does ANYONE like the dog voice for the Beggin' Strips commercial?

- Wanna know something that actually makes me really furious? When people use two periods as an ellipse. ".." is nothing. It is either you looking cross-eyed at a period, or an unnecessarily half-assed ellipse. Please. Hit the key one more time.

- Guess what else I hate? {I'm really not in a negative mood today, for the most part.} The stereotypical annoying little kid in movies that befriends the badass character and becomes meaningful and unexpectedly {yeah right} loveable in the end. Not to me. I pretty much find them annoying and unlovable all the way to the end.

~Stephanie

College Fragments

~ The weird moment when you can't remember if a phrase originated with you or your roommate, because you both use it now.

~ Guess what? You cannot make purchases at Wal-Mart using a Student ID card, nor will your room key start your car.

~ Shaving your legs is kind of barely a thing in college. No one looks. No one cares. No one will ever know {especially if your boyfriend is two hours away XD}.

~ I was doing my homework halfassedly today, and the age-old phrase leapt to mind, "You're cheating yourself. This isn't going to cut it when you get to college." Only then I realized that Oh Wait, It Is, and now I feel really baffled and lost. Does this mean I'll NEVER have to try?

~ I don't eat much all day, and I feel really good about myself. Then it gets to be like 8pm and I eat as much as I have all day in the next three hours.

~ There are only four more weeks of the semester. I have zero absences. Even though Campbell requires you to attend 85% of all your classes, I could no go to class twenty-five times in the next twenty days. {Edit:  now I have two absences XD}

~ Working on a paper for two hours and feeling really accomplished...then remembering it isn't your paper you were working on.

~ I should be reading Western Civ. I don't even have a good excuse as to why I'm not. I'm not even on Facebook. I'm not even texting. I'm just sitting here, looking around the room, desperate for distraction.

~ Thanksgiving break is in less than ten days.  Christmas break is in less than a month.  My first semester of college is quietly slipping away.  Weird.

~Stephanie

Fragments, I Suppose {III}

Hey, I'm Stephanie.

I love to wear heels, and not only can I walk in them, I can dance in them. On one foot. On a hill.

I just bought black nail polish, something I've been wanting for a while now.

Hot Topic is my new favorite store.

Guess what I found the other day? Batman underwear. {Sonja! Hot Topic and Spencer's XD}

Green was my favorite color when I was little. It changed to blue once when I was twelve, but now it's back to green.

I almost cried watching my dance teacher perform the other day. I'm supposed to dance in my life. I know that.

I've discovered another {super}hero that I adore: the Green Lantern.

Right now it feels like I have about five dictionaries on my chest. When I figure out why it's so hard to breathe, I'll probably blog about it.

I talked to my dad the other day in the car. It was two-hour ride; we didn't have anything else to do. The conversation was heavy and weird and left me more to sort out than ever before.

I spend a lot of time wishing I lived somewhere else. A different time, a different world. But at the same time, I'm mostly happy just where I am.

I wonder if Hal Jordan would go out with me?

I have terrible fingernails, and it bothers me because I care the most about my nails of almost anyone I know.

I will never, ever use my good looks {HAAAAAAA} or femininity to get what I want. Seeing girls do that actually makes me nauseous.

I don't have a problem with bikinis, but my parents think I should. I haven't sorted this out yet.

My iPod Nano is almost full. This is shocking and distressing.

I hate Taylor Swift. But the more I pay attention to her lyrics and not the tune, style, or weird mermaid chick singing, the harder it gets.

I love the way Audrey Hepburn talks.

I hate Blogger's new look. I clicked it completely by mistake, and since it was going to switch to it anyway, there's no turning back.

Cucumbers, carrots, bananas and green peppers make my throat itch. It's terrible.

It annoys me when teenagers say they'll be with someone forever. You HOPE you will. You WANT to be. Even saying you'll LOVE them forever is better. But to say with 100% certainty that you will be with someone forever? Tell me that's not naive. With a straight face.

I had the opportunity to be excused from a school assignment today. I decided to do it anyway.

Have you ever heard THIS song? If you haven't, you're missing out. I love.

~Stephanie

Fragments I
Fragments II

Fragments II

Too good to waste, too short to stand alone.

{Fragments I}

- *me, working on the computer with earbuds in*

*my mom walks in* "Can I be with you?"

Me: "Sure! I'm not really gonna talk, though, but I'm glad to have you."

Mom: "Oh, that's fine! I just want to be in here with you."

*five seconds later*

Mom: *mouth starts moving and I have to take out my earbuds to listen and respond*

*five more seconds*

{repeat above}

{and again}

{and again}

-_________-

- I once tried a hotel key in a door that wasn't mine to see if it would work. Like what if they made all the keys the same, assuming people would assume they were different? And no one knew? No way to know but to try.

- People who delete their Facebook histories make me smirk. It's like a mark of melodramatic idiocy to me. If you think you might be ashamed of it later, don't post it in the first place.

- I love Trollface comics. Like a lot.

- I am overly afraid of getting a tickle in my throat. Like, I'd almost rather throw up. And I HATE throwing up.

- The chipped nail polish on my right thumb looked like Africa the other day. I seriously should have taken a picture of it. It was great. There was Madagascar and everything.

- When I'm sick, my hair hurts.

Fragments

Too good to waste, too short to stand alone.

- Today I walked into the bathroom and saw we were out of toilet paper. I decided I didn't have to go that badly and left.

- The :-/ moment when you think, "Well damn. There's no way I can compete with that."

- I'm a real critic and snob about books, but when it comes to music I'm a lot more...lenient. You like what you like, and unless it's Hannah Montana I'm not going to tell you it's crap. I like what I like, even when you might say it's crap. I think I don't consider myself competent enough in music to judge songs with any authority.

- "Whenever you feel worthless, remember: you were once the quickest sperm cell."

- I hate it when I'm buying books in a series and they change the binding design style in the middle. I have some Ranger's Apprentice books with a big ol' series number on the binding, and some that just have the title. It is irritating.

- Sarah and I were walking through Wal-Mart the day after Christmas and I turned to her and said, "I love this belt. Now I can put my phone in my pocket and my pants don't fall off." And then I noticed the hott guy beside of us. He tried not to smile as he walked away. I think he was probably really nice.

- When people put extra letters on their words, my mental voice actually says them. So when you say "I loveeee herrr." I hear "Ahee lohv-eeeee her-ehrrrr."

- I've always wanted to marry a childhood friend. But then I look around at my childhood friends and think, "Nah."