The Mold of Manners

We've been watching the old TV show Poirot. A brilliant, stout, impeccably polite detective (the Belgian Hercule Poirot) finds himself around complicated murders and proceeds to solve them through observation and conversation. He is the epitome of class, good manners, and gentle dry humor, and if he weren't an old guy, I'd have a crush on him. He's like a favorite uncle that I want everyone to meet.

The stories (based on Agatha Christie novels, which are even more excellent than the show) take place in the early twentieth century and mostly in Europe. As such, everyone is Just So. The men, even on their days off, wear three piece suits and carry themselves with perfect posture. They pay their debts, watch their language, and rise to their feet when ladies enter the room. The women exude poise, pride, and propriety to the point that it's palpable. Their dresses are flimsy and flowy and they wouldn't dream of leaving the house looking a wreck or failing to offer a guest tea.

I've also been using The Dick Van Dyke Show as my mindless, while-I-chop-veggies-for-salad show. (Gabe doesn't care for it, but I grew up watching reruns so it's basically comfort TV.) Though that takes place in the '50s, I think, it's got that same air of class. If people are invited to dinner, they put on a suit or a dress to attend. Men call for ladies at their houses for dates. Words are well-chosen and well-enunciated. Ladies sometimes wear gloves. Houses are neat. Everyone understands what's expected of them to do or say, or not do or not say. It's so...pretty. Life was pretty.

Now, I know I'm supposed to rage at the fact that in Poirot women are treated like dainty, delicate creatures who can't be exposed to nasty words, and in Dick Van Dyke, women are expected to do the housework and look nice for their husbands...but I don't. I just don't.

I wish I lived in one of those times. I just absolutely love the cultures. The more I watch stuff like this, the more I think we've gone too far in the opposite direction. In our quest for "realness," we've completely disregarded tact and presentation. In our quest for equality, we've demonized the idea of women being managers of the home. In our quest for expediency, we've neglected to foster healthy, precise vocabularies.

This paragraph here was originally me admitting that "of course, there are some things I'm glad I can do today that I wouldn't have been able to do in Poirot's day," but I couldn't even come up with anything besides "wear shorts," and I think dresses and skirts are more comfortable anyway. I guess I'd miss some modern medicines and plumbing. Yeah, that's definitely true. But to give up such amenities in return for Such Classiness sounds like a fair trade.

I wish people were still expected to behave well. Sure, it's easier not having to put your napkin in your lap or bring a hostess gift or stand when an older person walks in or say "Excuse me" when you leave a situation, but...just because it's easier doesn't mean it's better. I get it that honesty, transparency, and genuineness are desirable qualities, but can't we still maintain some discretion? Obviously I want to be able to share my thoughts with my sister or husband or best friend even if said thoughts aren't polite or rosy, but maybe that's where we should draw the line, rather than spewing outright, inarticulate shade to anyone with ears.

Of course, even "back in the day" shade was thrown and insults were spoken (have you ever read a Jane Austen novel?), but it was done more subtly, and almost more fairly too, because people were more aware of expectations. If you did X, Y, or Z, you knew it was considered impolite; you opened the door to just criticism.

Some might say that's worse, that all the manners just made it easier to be phony and passive aggressive and prevented people from becoming fully themselves. But...hm. Maybe I'm just a sucker for appearances? Or maybe I'm a little bit right. I think when done correctly, the old manners don't just help you appear to be a prettier, better, politer person, they might actually help mold you into a one.

~Stephanie

Guilt, Fifty Shades, and Valentine's Day {all unrelated, believe it or not}

Let me tell you a little something about myself (because after reading my thoughts for four years, you know nothing, of course):  When I feel bad about how long it's taking me to do something, I continue to not do it.

Examples:
- Justin texted me on February 11 asking if I was on campus because he was visiting. I was busy and didn't reply that day. I feel bad. So I still haven't replied.
- I have been working on a promotional piece for someone's website since the beginning of the year. She emailed me with some critique at the beginning of this month. I was swamped in schoolwork and didn't know what to do about it. So I temporarily ignored it. I feel bad. So I am still ignoring it.
- James wrote me a letter about ten months ago. It was amazingly great. I didn't write back right away. I felt bad. So I still haven't written back.
- I haven't blogged since Christmas Eve. I feel bad about it. So I've been not blogging.

Hi? *sheepish look*

{But I mean, in addition to all the guilty feels, I have also been swamped in homework and all the, like, not responding to other stuff, so...}

I also haven't had anything to say, besides life updates, which is kind of not what this blog was intended for, you know? It was supposed to be social commentary and life hacks and sort of pointless well-written pieces. It has mostly devolved into me alternately whining about school work and gushing about Gem.

Hey speaking of Gem. Doesn't he look like the world's most precious and endearing squirrel in this picture?

Yeah. But really, back off; he's mine.

I really wanted to post a response to all the commotion about "Fifty Shades of Grey" (Gray? Grey.), but...I dunno. It seemed pointless. People who hate it already know why they hate it. People who like it also know why people who hate it hate it. It's not really complicated. But if I were going to post about it, I would probably make these three points:

1) BDSM is not going to send you to Hell, so stop condemning people who like it rough. However, what is depicted in "Fifty Shades" isn't necessarily how "correct" BDSM is supposed to work. So. That's not good.
2) I have read a lot of "Fifty Shades," and it is an absolute disgrace to good writing. I am 100%, utterly, unreservedly certain that I can write better erotica than that. Hands down. Not even kidding. If it weren't immoral I would offer to send you proof. "Fifty Shades" completely disgusted me from an artistic standpoint. This is honestly what infuriates me the most about the whole thing. If someone ever writes an erotic novel that is good, I will review it and admit it. It can be done well--not MORALLY, but at least ARTISTICALLY. Which brings me to...
3) It's definitely porn. There is nothing classy or artistic about it, it is just straight up girl porn and not well done. See point two. Maybe if it were actually well-written it could at least be artistically valuable, but it's literary shit.

Alrighty. I am now dragging myself away from this topic. I don't think any more needs to be said from me. It would get ramble-y. {That being said, if you have questions or vehement disagreement or anything, I would be glad to listen and respond.}

Mmm. That's enough content for now. I really do have school work to do.

Here what else has been up, just btw.

Passion Conference 2015

I Turned 21

{I also went "out," of course, but there are not very good pictures from that.}

My suite mates threw me a surprise party when I got back :3 They are seriously the best.

I Celebrated My First "Real" Valentine's Day (i.e. with a boyfriend who did more than just text me "Happy V. Day" at some point during the 24-hour span)

We went to a local state park, which was gorgeous.

 

Then got cleaned up and headed to a restaurant, where we ate the best food I think I've ever had. Not even kidding. When we tried the chocolate lava cake dessert, we just lost it. Did not even try to be mature adults about it.

~Stephanie

"Paradise" Paraphrase

"Paradise Lost" by John Milton is brilliant and beautiful. One of my favorite books ever. However, for the sake of easy reviewing, I take notes in modern English. If you read it right, the last bit of Book V it's pretty intense and funny, and I would like you to know that. So here you go.

{Direct quotes are italicized.}

Angel Gabriel to angel Uzziel:  "Okay, I have word that Satan has sneaked into the Garden of Eden. You take half the angel army and patrol the south border, and I'll talk the other half and go north."

Gabriel turns to the angels Ithuriel and Zephron and says, "You guys go search inside the Garden for evil, and check on Adam and Eve."

Ithuriel and Zephron zip over to Adam and Eve, who are sleeping in their leafy tent. They see a weird toad squatting next to Eve's ear...

Ithuriel is like >.> and taps the toad with his celestial blade, revealing the toad to be a grisly-looking spirit.

Ithuriel and Zephron:  "Oh jeez." *wince and look away in distaste*

Ithuriel:  "You're one of the rebel angels, aren't you? Which one?"

Satan, filled with scorn, is like, "Really? You fail to recognize a celestial being? You might as well disown yourselves then. Or do you actually know who I am and you're just being cute? How superfluous, as your entire purpose probably is."

Zephron, equally scornful:  "You look nothing like you used to. You're now as repulsive as your sin. Come on. You hafta go explain yourself to Gabriel. You're not supposed to be here, you know."

Satan felt how awful goodness is, but appeared undaunted. "Yes, I'd very much like to see Gabriel. Take me to him, or I'll destroy you on the spot." He snorted. "That would be a small loss."

Zephron:  "You are evil and therefore weaker than me."

Satan is overcome by rage, but kept silent. Only the power of Heaven could render him speechless.

Gabriel sees Satan approaching and says to angel search party:  "Well. That appears to be Satan. He won't go down without a fight. Brace yourselves."  He clears his throat and calls to Satan, "What do you think you're doing here, on earth, screwing with God's perfect creation?"

Satan:  "You know, I used to think you were smart, but your question really throws me into doubt. Who in his right mind would just sit in Hell if he found a way out? YOU wouldn't. And anyway, if God wanted us fallen angels to stay in Hell, he should've made the gate stronger." He shrugged. "Plus, Ithuriel and Zephron will tell you:  I was just chilling next to Eve. I wasn't doing anything BAD."

Gabriel, furious but smirking:  "Wow, sure is a blow to Heaven to have lost someone as sharp as you. And now you've come here and gotten yourself captured and you're questioning MY wisdom? You think that fleeing pain and provoking infinite wrath is a wise idea?"

Satan says nothing; Gabriel continues, glancing around pointedly.  "I see you're here alone. No other fallen angels with you. What, you couldn't take the pain of Hell? I mean, surely if you'd told the other fallen angels what you mission is, at least ONE of them would've come with you."

Satan snarls. "You KNOW I don't shirk pain, you asshole. Your comments confirm your inexperience. It's better to try dangerous plans than try nothing and surely be damned to submission. I faithfully come here to seek new dominion, while you and your angels would rather grovel to God than stand up for yourselves."

Gabriel:  "You're a liar, not a leader, how dare you call yourself faithful? To whom? Your nasty fiends? Your stupid, ugly mind is finally reflected in your hideous, fallen physical form. You're just a sly hypocrite who wouldst seem Patron of Liberty. You fawned over God more than anyone!"

Gabriel shakes his head in disgust and points away. "Get out now, or I will drag you back to Hell myself and reinforce the gates and teach you not to scorn the facile gates of Hell too slightly barred!"

Satan's eyes flash angrily. "Talk about me captive AFTER you take me, bitch! Right now, I'mma fight you!"

At that, the angels glow red and surround Satan. In alarm, Satan grows and expands hugely, towering above angels.

The encounter would have been incredibly destructive, but Heavenly scales appear and Satan's side flies up, higher, weaker, than Gabriel's.

Gabriel says to Satan:  "Neither of us has power outside of what Heaven allows. But see this as a sign that if you resist, you will fail."

At that, Satan flees.

BritLit Lines

Please humor me. These lines/quotes caused me to stop in the middle of my BritLit reading and gape. Please read them. I can't be the only one who feels the impact of such beautiful phrases.

{I mean, maybe XD}

"A man's reach must exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?" ~ R. Browning, Andrea del Sarto

"I regret little, I would change still less." ~ R. Browning, Andrea del Sarto

"I would trust you before any man alive, ay, before myself." ~ Stevenson, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

"A thing unknown without a name
Born of the air and doomed to flame."
~ Barbauld, An Inventory of the Furniture in Dr. Priestley's Study

"There was no man from whom he kept fewer secrets than Mr. Guest; and he was not always sure that he kept as meany as he meant." ~ Stevenson, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

"But I had voluntarily stripped myself of all those balancing instincts by which even the worst of us continues to walk with some degree of steadiness among temptations." ~ Stevenson, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

"The very essence of romance is uncertainty. If I ever get married, I'll certainly try hard to forget the fact." ~ Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

"The truth is very rarely pure and never simple. Modern life would be very tedious if it were either, and modern literature a complete impossibility!" ~ Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

"...that which we are, we are--
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."
~ Tennyson, Ulysses

"Thou hast not lived, why should'st thou perish, so?"
~ Arnold, The Scholar Gypsy

"Who hesitate and falter life away,
And lose tomorrow the ground won today--"
~ Arnold, The Scholar Gypsy

"But in between these two classes there is a huge dump of worn-out metaphors which have lost all evocative power and are merely used because they save people the trouble of inventing phrases for themselves." Orwell, Politics and the English Language

"O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time."
~ Auden, As I Walked Out One Evening

"Time held me green and dying
Though I sang in my chains like the sea."
~ Thomas, Fern Hill

"But in her web she still delights
To weave the mirror's magic sights,
For often through the silent nights
A funeral, with plumes of lights
__________And music, went to Camelot;
Or when the moon was overhead,
Came two young lovers lately wed:
"I am half sick of shadows," said
__________The Lady of Shalott."
~ Tennyson, The Lady of Shalott

{Make time to read all of "The Lady of Shalott" sometime. It's one of the most perfect things I've ever read. I get chills and fall inside myself at the ending every time.}

~Stephanie

Turn-Offs

I was in Barnes & Noble last week. I had just discovered two unused gift cards in my wallet, and was so happy and excited that I almost couldn't breathe.

I read the backs of probably twenty-five books and studied the covers of twice that many. As I did so, I also discovered that I have quite a few "book turn-offs." I immediately put down any book that...

- contained the phrases "with the help of an unlikely friend" or "when the unthinkable happens."

- featured a girl holding a weapon on the cover.

- began it's coverslip with "(insert number)-year-old (insert catchy, obscure name)..."

- referenced text messages or social media sites.

- described a male protagonist using the words "sexy," "dangerous," or "mysterious."

- tried too hard with the characters' names.

I skipped the "Teen Paranormal Romance" section altogether.

What are some of your book turn-offs?

~Stephanie

Paper Heartbeats

In one of my classes, we watched a video about American poverty/hunger.  The documentary followed the lives of three families as they struggled to provide food, clothing, shelter, etc. for themselves.

One family was just a dad and a little boy. Their story was simple.  The father lost his job and despite having a great education and work ethic, he couldn't find another one. He resorted to starting a small upholstery business in his garage.

As interviews unfolded and the camera followed them around their house, my brain went into {over-}analyzing mode. I tried to figure out what they could have done to prevent poverty, or help themselves out. They had a TON of stuff, for one thing. I've never seen so many toys in a kid's room before.  {A yard sale definitely wouldn't fix the problem, but it would be pretty high on my list of possible strategies if I were them.}

Then the family dog came into the picture, and {I'm so gonna lose like 40% of my followers for this XD} my first thought was, "Well, there you go. Get rid of the dog. This is clearly a choice between feeding your dog and feeding your kid. This is not a hard decision." How can people think it's okay to have a pet when they're starving and drowning in debt?

Then a little voice popped into my head and said,

"Would you stop buying books if you were poor? Would you sell your books if you needed money?"

Ooooh. Awkwarddd.

The answer to both of those questions was an obvious and final "NO" for me.

Books are knowledge; books are freedom; books are people; books are memories; books are comfort; books are escape; books are happiness; books are art.

Books are influential; books are beautiful; books are powerful; books are expressive; books are inspiring; books are hilarious; books are helpful; books are necessary.

Telling me to get rid of my books is like saying, "Hey, Stephanie, delete large chunks of your childhood memories," or "Hey, Stephanie, I'm gonna steal some of your soul now," or "Hey, Stephanie, burn your best friend at the stake real quick."

The thought of selling more than maybe three of my books makes my eyes widen and my stomach clench.  There's no way. I would literally fight you for my books.

My family used to be really poor. Our grocery budget was something like $50 a week. We didn't eat out, have cable, buy orange juice, or get name brand anything. Going ridiculously all-out for my family was seeing a matinee movie and buying ice cream on the way home.  Until I was fifteen, the only form of electronic entertainment I had was the small TV in the living room {the only television in the whole house} and sometimes my dad's computer.

But one thing we never did without was books. Now, that doesn't mean that we bought $200 boxed sets of encyclopedias or went book-shopping on the weekends. But it does mean that we probably would have sold some jewelry before selling my mom's much-loved copies of The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

And do you want to know the weird thing? I never knew we were poor. I didn't figure it out til I was like sixteen that we had been on the brink of poverty when I was a kid. I had the best childhood in the world {I dare you to challenge that}. Money couldn't have made it any better, and I would even argue that it would have made it worse.

Why was my childhood so great? For lots of reasons, but I think they all boil down to one simple concept:

The written word.

Books entertained me on dull afternoons.  Books removed me from my childish heartbreaks.  Books taught me how to use my imagination.  Books helped me cope with family arguments.  Books preserved my memories. Books cheered me up when I was depressed or angry.  Books put me to sleep at night, and gave me a reason to wake up in the morning.  Books inspired me to become a writer.

I know that I couldn't give up books, no matter how poor or hungry I was. They're a part of my heart, my mind, my life, my soul. I know that sounds crazy and ridiculous and impractical, but it's one of the truest things I've ever said.

And I guess that's how some people feel about their pets. So hm.

To each his own, I realized that day in class. Who am I to judge? I mean, at least you can hear a dog's heartbeat.

You can only feel the heartbeat of a book.

~Stephanie

Couples I Love to Love

I've addressed the fact that my best friend Cassidy is a romantic {here}. In the same post, I also addressed the fact that I am not. But recently, a question was posed that I had to think about for a long while:

Are there even fictional couples that I love together?

I thought long and hard and decided that Yes. Yes, there are. And here they are.

{Obviously this contains spoilers, but the only ones people might freak out about are the Hunger Games and Betsy series. They're the last two and tiny if you want to skip them. [I'm absolutely religious about not spoiling books for people, so sorry if this seems overboard XD]}

Love Stories/Couples That I Actually Love
1. Rick and Elsie ~ Casablanca
2. Ann and Joe ~ Roman Holiday
3. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy ~ Pride and Prejudice
4. Hector and Andromache ~ The Iliad
5. Rose and Jack ~ The Titanic

6. Katniss and Peeta ~ the Hunger Games
7. Betsy and Joe ~ the Betsy series

Yup. Out of everything I've ever seen and read, these seven are the ones that "get me."

Cassidy: "I see. And how many of those couples actually end up together?"
Me: "Um...three :3"
Cassidy: *sigh*

~Stephanie

Staple Foods

<<<<<

Bread

Cheese

Potatoes

No matter where you go, there they are.

I love these three foods. They aren't technically "favorites," but they have a special place in my mind.

Bread. Cheese. Potatoes.

They're simple foods, the three foods that do their job in a clean, wholesome way. They're staple foods, the three foods that traverse the boundaries of time, place and world.

Les Miserables ~ Jean Valjean steals bread to feed his sister's children.

Farmer Boy ~ Almanzo and Alice split a baked potato.

Catcher in the Rye ~ Holden eats Swiss cheese sandwiches.

The Bible ~ Jesus turns five loaves of bread into enough for 5000 people to eat.

A Christmas Carol ~ The Cratchit family eats mashed potatoes with their Christmas meal.

Hansel and Gretel ~ The children use breadcrumbs to mark their path.

Dharma Bums ~ Ray offers to share his bread and cheese with a hobo.

Lord of the Rings ~ "Po-ta-toes! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew?!" - Samwise Gamgee

Bread. Cheese. Potatoes.

I spent 80% of my childhood somewhere other than the middle class home of a small white family.

Probably 20% of my childhood was spent traveling dusty roads and sleeping in covered wagons.

About 15% was spent in abandoned cabins with my six brothers and sisters, making our way without adult supervision.

Another 20% of my childhood was spent fleeing on bare feet from various captors with various beasts by their sides.

10% of my childhood was spent in damp stone castles or the surrounding peasant villages.

5% each was spent in the Shire, Lothlorien, and on Tatooine.

But no matter where I was or what I was doing, three foods were always present:

Bread. Cheese. Potatoes.

Isn't that interesting? Or maybe it's just me. It very well might just be me. But every time I eat one of the Staple Foods, a little extra warmth lands in my belly. A little extra comfort envelops my mind. A little extra sparkle creeps into my eyes.

So next time you eat one of these staple foods, I hope you'll stop and remember how awesome they are.

Or at least how weird this blogger named Stephanie is XD

~Stephanie

100 Books

I got this post from Anna of Artist's Charm a while back {her post} :) Apparently, the average person has only read six out of these hundred, which is astonishing to me.

Here's the list; I'm going to copy Anna's method and bold the books I've read, and italicize the ones I've started but not finished.

1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series – JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
11 Little Women – Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch – George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland -Lewis Carol
30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis
34 Emma – Jane Austen
35 Persuasion – Jane Austen
36 The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne
41 Animal Farm – George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding
50 Atonement – Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi – Yann Martel
52 Dune – Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
62 Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History – Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road – Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
72 Dracula – Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal – Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession – AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas – David Mitchel
83 The Color Purple – Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web – EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
89 The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
94 Watership Down – Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

Twenty-four down, three started, seventy-three to go...

Not TOO bad XD

~Stephanie

Book Etiquette Part I

Because some people just don't seem to know the rules.

When Discussing a Book

1. You're telling Johnny about a book that you love. He says he's interested in reading it.

YES:

"I liked parts of it a lot, but some of it is a little unrealistic."

-this is the only acceptable way to discuss the merit of a book with someone who hasn't read it.-

NO:

"Yeah, I liked it up until the part where Bob died."

"Well, it's good, but the escape from the Castle of Certain Doom is sort of dumb."

"But I do love this part where Bob gets together with Jill!"

2. Johnny asks you what the book is about.

YES:

"It's an adventure story about some people who have to survive in a tumultuous kingdom ruled by an evil lord, and how they deal with it."

NO:

"It's about this guy named Bob who falls in love with Jill. They get taken to the Castle of Certain Death and have to escape and stuff, but in the end Bob dies."

3. Johnny is reading a book that you love, and you want to know how far into the story he's gotten.

YES:

"What's Bob doing?"

"Where are they right now?"

-never ask about romance. there is no subtle way to do this.-

NO:

"Has Bob died?"

"Have they escaped the Castle of Certain Death?"

"Have you gotten to the kiss?"

4. You've now determined where Johnny is in the story.

YES:

*nod* "Cool. Keep reading."

NO:

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. THAT part."

"So you haven't--you don't know about--he hasn't--OH EM JEE."

5. Johnny has now finished the book.

There are no secrets now. You may now yap freely.

Further Tips Rules:

1. There is great value in speaking in page numbers.

2. When discussing the story with someone who hasn't finished the book, always speak as though you're at the same place as they are. For instance, if you know that Bob is going to stab Jill in the back in the next fifty pages, talk like you still think he's great.

3. If you can't restrain yourself from spoiling a story, do not say anything. Do not suggest books. Do not read in the first place. Leave the country. And above all, do not ever discuss literature with ME.

~Stephanie

Mainstream

"Mainstream."

A lot of Christian girl bloggers use the word like it means "the desire to be a prostitute."

I understand not wanting to be obsessed with "the things of this world," but just because something is "mainstream" does not automatically make it shallow, sexual and sinful. A lot of mainstream things are, but a lot of unpopular things are too--you just don't hear about them as much.

Then, of course, there's the eye-roll moment when the girl actually READS the books or WATCHES the movie or LISTENS to the music and suddenly--OMG IT IS THE BEST THING EVER.

{It was especially awkward when I read the Harry Potter books after years of swearing they were Satan's handiwork. Ohhh yeah. That was uncomfortable.}

I do a lot of judgmental, irrational things. However, I'm glad to say that shunning mainstream stuff on principle is no longer one of them. Frankly, I could not care less whether something is popular or not. What matters to me is not what everyone says, but what I personally think.

Pointy-toed shoes are ugly.

Hollister is overrated.

The Twilight books aren't that bad.

The Hunger Games books are really pretty good.

In my opinion, people should spend a lot less time condemning or affirming things on the basis of what the world says. I mean, I think the real point of "in-the-world-but-not-of-it" might be to form your own ideas based on personal preference and prayer. Your pastor's word is not God's, and the girl with the Abercrombie jeans is not Satan.

Everyone Loves Glee =/= Glee sucks.

Glee sucking is what makes Glee suck XD Ahahaha. Lawl.

*ahem* Sorry.

People need to stop judging and start experiencing. God doesn't want us to shun the world, and he doesn't want us to be sheltered, shell-shocked sissies.

Just something that's been on my mind.

~Stephanie

√Radical

You may have heard of this little book trilogy called "The Hunger Games."

{And by "may have heard of," I mean "definitely are aware of."}

A movie is being made of the first book, "Hunger Games," and will come out in March. I've read the trilogy, and I definitely enjoyed it. The concept is completely original and the characters are tremendously believable, which is always very important to me. I admit that I sobbed at the ending, even though it's not exactly sad. Depends on who you are and how your mind works.

As does one's opinion on a certain character named Peeta.

Now, I'm not going to go into Peeta's part in the story or any spoilerific plot points. I want to talk about a mindset that happened to be brought to my attention in the context of this fictional guy named Peeta. A lot of my girl friends LOVE Peeta, and I can understand that. But the other day, I heard a girl's reason for her obsession and my jaw dropped:

"He isn't radical."

Now, admittedly, taken with the other things she said, this isn't quite so horrifying. But a lot of girls would take that sentence alone and wholeheartedly agree.

He isn't radical? And that's a desirable quality?!

Radical: adj. of or going to the root or origin; fundamental. Thoroughgoing, especially as regards change from accepted or traditional forms.

So radical can mean two things.

1) Digging deep. Dismissing or wading through superficial crud to find what the real issue is. This is where the "radical symbol" in math comes from. If I type √4, you know I'm looking for the ROOT of four.

or

2) Doing something different. When A, B, and C fail, try D. If you're stuck in a rut, the best way to get out of it is probably not to continue spinning your tires in it. If the world is doing something wrong just because it's the way things have always been, you NEED to be radical.

Get to the root of the problem.

And do something different.

Christopher Columbus was radical.

Einstein was radical.

Abraham Lincoln was radical.

Martin Luther King Jr. was radical.

I challenge you to find one person who changed the world and who WASN'T radical.

No seriously. Name ONE.

What especially got me is the fact that this girl is a Christian.

HELLO!

Jesus Christ was radical in the most radical sense possible. Being a Christian is ALL ABOUT being radical. Fixing the root of ourselves by asking for forgiveness. Helping the poor by finding the root of WHY they're poor and eradicating it. Loving our neighbors as we love ourselves at our core, our root. Discovering that God is the center, the root, the radical of the world.

"I love Peeta because he isn't radical."

That's like saying, "I love dance because it's boring" or "I love writing because it's useless" or "I love football because it's dumb." How can you even say that like it's a compliment?

When I fall in love, it will be with someone radical. When I fall in love, it will be with someone who challenges me at the root of my being, who challenges me to find the problems in life and inspires me to do something about them.

When I fall in love with someone, it will be with someone who is in love with Jesus Christ and understands the tremendously radical lifestyle he has called us to.

When I fall in love with someone, it will be with someone who accepts that radical challenge and strives to live life intentionally, thoughtfully, adventurously, lovingly, excitedly every day.

When I fall in love with someone, it will be with someone radical. And that will be one of my very most favorite things about them.

~Stephanie

Book Memories

When I rambled about Libraries a couple of weeks ago, one of Jay's comments made me think about books in a new way.

"There is something to be said about reading a book people have enjoyed before you."

I had never actually thought about it that way before: reading a book other people have enjoyed. Not just the same story, but the very same ink and paper and binding.

They might love it just as much as I do. The book saw their laughs and tears and smiles and they were just as important as mine. Their widened eyes, their horrified gasps, their frantic fingers are all preserved in the book, right along with mine.

The book knows and remembers them just as it will know and remember me. The story has a story, not just in the words on its pages, but in the essence of the pages themselves.

Maybe I'm going too far with this.

But isn't it a beautiful thought?

~Stephanie

Book Review: Dreadful Sorry

Guys, go Google "askew." Lawl.

Thanks for following, G-Fish! {Her blog is so my style, and she's an MU writer also.}

{She followed like forever ago, but it was new news when I actually wrote this post...}

Title: Dreadful Sorry
Author: Katherine Reiss
Stars: 2
Less-Than-500-Word Review in Short: Follow Molly Teague and her 2-dimensional cast members as they unravel the mystery to her visions in this eerie suspense novel.
Back-of-the-Book: {there is no back-of-the-book summary}

I Say:
“Dreadful Sorry” is a story set in the early 1990s about a girl named Molly who has disturbing dreams that begin to blend with reality. Her sleep is haunted by visions of a strange house and people and feelings of guilt. When she meets her friend’s cousin, Jared, things just go downhill. He triggers the strange feelings in her. Her nightmares start morphing into reality and she gets caught up in a bewildering and frightening mystery.

I read the first few pages of “Dreadful Sorry” at the library. It seemed centered around unusual dream occurrences, so of course I added it to my armload.

After the initial interest I felt at the library, my impressions of the book were negative. At first I thought it was just the 90s writing style, which I’m not a huge fan of, but that’s not it. The writing was weak and colorless and the descriptions were terrible. The dialogue fell flat; it just wasn’t believable. I don’t say this often, out of courtesy, but I could have written this story better. None of the characters had real personalities. They were all the 2-dimensional stereotypes we call Mary Sues.

The practical, logical mother who doesn’t believe in nonsense.
The silly, pixie-like young stepmother who tries to be affectionate and relatable.
The honest, understanding father who wanted a little joy out of life.
The Typical Girl who’s caught in the middle and doesn’t know what to make of her situation.

It’s all there, laid out in the open with no deviation from the usual cast. Molly’s friends don’t even merit memory-commitment. They’re more paper-thin than her family and only show up in one scene.

Then you have the plot. I admit, Reiss did a good job of making the story unnerving and creepy and I didn’t sleep well after reading “Dreadful Sorry” late. Who could sleep well with “My Darlin’ Clementine” wavering eerily through their mind? But I think part of the uneasiness was due to the poor quality of the story.

The plot construction itself was not well done. The order in which events take place and mysteries are unraveled could have been better. I would have had Molly’s visions occur before certain research was done, et cetera. I think it would have made the mystery greater and the sense of realization more satisfying.

In the end, I did not like the answer to the mystery, which will definitely ruin a good thriller for you. I’m sure not everyone would feel the way I did about the explanation, but I sure as heck did not find it gratifying.

I Liked:
- The effect of “My Darlin’ Clementine” was brilliant and effective.

I Didn’t Like:
- Awful characterization
- Poor writing
- Not the best construction

Audience: Anyone could read “Dreadful Sorry,” so long as they’re old enough not to be freaked out. I’d probably rate it PG if it were a movie.

Because of the poor writing, Mary Sues and silly plot payoff, I won’t be reading “Dreadful Sorry” again, but it’s a relatively quick read if you want to see for yourself.

~Stephanie

Book Tag

{This tag was stolen from Shena a while back :3}

{Btw, the girl I had in mind when I wrote Cynic just broke up with her boyfriend. I strongly disliked the chica anyway, so even though I know it's horrible, my inward emoticon went "IN YO' FACE!" when I found out. >.< I have got to work on not being a jerk.}

1. Favorite childhood book?
{I interpreted “childhood” to be like 10-12} The Thief Lord, On to Oregon, Homeless Bird

2. What are you reading right now?
I just finished “The Year of the Hangman,” which is a story about what could have happened if the British had won the Revolutionary War. {That’s what it’s supposed to be about anyway.} I’m about to start "Midnighters," which sounds fascinating and it's by Scott Westerfield, so I'm excited.

3. What books do you have on request at the library?
None. But I have about twenty that I want to eventually read.

4. What do you currently have checked out at the library?
Green Angel, The Year of the Hangman, and Midnighters.

5. Do you have an e-reader?
Not really. My family shares a Kindle, but I haven’t gotten into it. I thought I would LOVE having one available, but I pretty much never use it.

6. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?
It depends. I used to read like three at a time all the time. Now I usually go with one new book and one old, comfortable book at a time.

7. Can you read on the bus?
I usually get carsick when I read on the road.

8. Favorite place to read?
Anywhere. If it’s a good book, nothing will stop me.

9. Do you ever dog-ear books?
No. No. No. No. NO. I used to, really badly. But now just a turned down corner makes me cringe.

10. Do you ever write in the margins of your books?
Hm. Occasionally. But usually only in school books, and ALWAYS in pencil.

11. What makes you love a book?
The characters must be complex and likable; the plot must be well-planned and reasonably unpredictable; it can’t have unnecessary filler.

12. What will inspire you to recommend a book?
When it has all the aforementioned!

13. Favorite genre?
Fantasy, probably, but it’s hard to find fantasy books that I love anymore. I’m definitely over the whole paranormal-romance thing. I enjoy new spins on old ideas, like redone fairy tales and behind-the-scenes historical fiction.

14. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?
If it was a bad book, I give it a bad review. Charlie don’t care if a book has sensitive feelings.

15. Favorite Poet?
Dr. Seuss, John Milton, Shakespeare. I’m not very familiar with poetry, but I can tell you for sure that I love and respect those three XD

16. How many books do you usually have checked out of the library at any given time?
I usually go to the library once a week and check out two books. With school, that’s about as many as I can hope to finish in a week, if that many.

17. How often have you returned books to the library unread?
Almost never.

18. Favorite fictional character?
Heh, I just did this for a college application :D
Hector, “The Iliad”
Aragorn, “LotR”
Samwise Gamgee, “LotR”
Jason Bourne, the “Bourne” trilogy
Batman
Anne Shirley, “Anne Shirley”
Darth Vader
Hamlet
Betsy Ray, the “Betsy” series
Lois Lane
Tex, “Tex”
Tessa, “Infernal Devices” trilogy
Will, “Infernal Devices” trilogy

19. Favorite fictional villain?
Darth Vader probably. His cold, clever, calculating manner is just great. The best kind of scary.

20. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation?
Whatever ones I’m reading, plus something from the “Lily” series, and possibly a “Farsala” book.

21. The longest I’ve gone without reading.
Like…16 hours? XD

22. Name a book that you could/would not finish.
Everything On a Waffle, Sea of Trolls, and Shadow of the Wind. I’m still holding out hope for all of them, though. One of these days…

23. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?
If I’m not really into a book, anything. If I’m really into a book, nothing.

24. Favorite film adaptation of a novel?
Lord of the Rings trilogy, Harry Potter films, The Chronicles of Narnia. The Hunger Games looks promising too, especially since Suzanne Collins {the author} wrote the screenplay.

25. Most disappointing film adaptation?
Eragon. That movie was a disgrace to filmmakers and story-tellers everywhere and should never, ever be mentioned in the same breath as the book. {EVER.} Inkheart was also an unmentionable atrocity, and Ella Enchanted didn’t follow the book at all. However, it was actually a good movie, just a different story, so that’s alright. Eragon and Inkheart sacrificed accuracy for…absolutely nothing.

26. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through?
If it was unbearably tedious.

27. Do you like to keep your books organized?
Alphabetically.

28. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them?
What a question! Keep them! I’ve only ever given away one book, Wicked Lovely. A lot of people liked it, so okay, but I thought it was terrible.

I tag anyone who wants to do it. Let me know though, and I'll come read your answers :D

~Stephanie

The Library

Despite the fact that I LOVE to read and take pages and bindings and words generally very seriously, I had not been to the library for at least five years.

My family went every week from the time I was two until about ten, but then things got busy or whatever and we stopped going. I went a couple of times in sixth and seventh grade because my art teacher lived near one, but around eighth grade my library trips ceased.

Until a few weeks ago.

I knew there was a library near class. I had known all semester, but I wasn't completely sure where it was, and Cassidy and I are terrible with directions and usually on our way somewhere else. Stopping at the library never quite fit into the plan.

But one day after class, we pulled up to the intersection and I looked over at Cassidy.

"Would you like to go to the library?"

"What?"

"Turn off your signal; go straight."

"...okay."

We drove through the intersection and into essentially uncharted territory. I watched my surroundings like a hawk, praying that something would look familiar soon. Nothing especially did, but when we hit the second stoplight, I said, "Okay, turn right here."

By some miracle of God, the library was the first building on the right. It was meant to be.

"Oh cool," Cassidy said. "I didn't know this was here."

I sort of looked sheepish and got out of the car. "I didn't really either..."

She just raised her eyebrows at me and we went inside. {I do that to her a lot, BS my driving directions for her so she won't be stressed about getting somewhere. 90% of the time I am just as clueless as she is. But 70% of the time we get there anyway.}

We walked into the library and it felt like someone was pushing on my chest. The ceilings were high, the room was hushed and the air smelled like books.

"Oh my gosh," I breathed. "I haven't been in a library in so long."

Cass just kind of smiled and kept going.

I wandered around the whole place, devouring the place with my eyes. There were tables and couches and shelves and computers and windows and BOOKS. So many books. I kept repeating that to myself, So many books, So many books.

You forget just how many there are until you see a big display like that. I mean, I hadn't forgotten that there were thousands of books in the world, I just hadn't been so close to the idea in a while.

When I finally found my way to the young adult section, I was practically giddy, drunk on the prospect of so many words in so many different orders.

I sat down in the floor in front of a shelf shaped like an X lying on its back. Four spokes of bookshelf, each with a front and back, filled with books. So many books! I had read a lot of them, but there were even more I hadn't even heard of.

I spent the next half hour seeing every book on the X-shaped shelf. I read every title and touched the really enticing volumes with awed fingers. I smile fondly at old favorites, like they were secret allies in a mob of unfamiliar stories. I breathed in the strong, old scent of library books. I made tragic sounds at the dog-eared pages and broken spines.

Then I planted myself firmly at the first X spoke, took out my phone, and began seriously studying. I first judged titles; if a book caught my attention, I took it out. Then--yes--I judged the book by its cover. If it was a girl in a bikini, a poorly drawn swordswoman, or half the face of an opened-mouthed person, I put it back. If not, I read the back. If it still interested me, I typed the title into a text message and moved on.

An hour later, I stood up, eyes feeling gritty and brain feeling fuzzy. The world of light around me seemed strange, as it does when I've been reading for a long time. It's like my brain has to reprogram, reboot. I have to shift from translating words into a world and just take the world as it already is.

I found Cassidy and confirmed that she had had an equally {okay, close enough} fantastic experience. Then I referred to my phone list, selected a couple of books with her help, and we checked out.

I left the library feeling energized in a serene kind of way. Cassidy and I go every week after class now.

*sigh* I feel things too strongly XD But I really do love books a lot.

~Stephanie

Ready

Straight from my Twenty-Eleven journal, I give you my lists {with the exceptions of the abbreviated Friends and Movies}.

Twenty-Eleven Firsts

First hug: Cassidy

First drink: sparking white grape juice

First food: a brownie

First text: Cody: "Happy new year" 12:50am

First color I painted my nails: deep purple :) Jan. 4

First thing I bought: nail polish Ja. 21

First pair of shoes I wore: Uggs

First time I brushed my teeth: Jan. 2 4:15pm

First time it rained: Jan. 1

First time it snowed: 5:30am Jan. 6

First book I finished: "The Outsiders" Jan. 28 10pm

First eyeliner I used: navy waterproof

First cry: Jan. 3

First cold: Jan 5-7 -__-

First stomach bug: {NA}

First LEGIT snow: 1.10.11

First sleepover: Jan 7-8 Mer's

First PC-sighting: July 7th, Panera Bread

First crush: My Guy

First theater movie: Tangled {AMAZING!}

First hair cut: Feb. 25

tWENTY-eLEVEN bOOKS:

1. The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan {1}

2. Tex by S. E. Hinton {5}
3. Incarceron by Catherine Fisher {3}
4. Across the Universe by Beth Revis {3.5}
5. No Promises in the Wind by Irene Hunt {3.5}
6. Her Fearful Symmetry - Audrey Niffenegger {3}
7. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins {4}
8. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins {4}
9. City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare {3}
10. Guys are Waffles, Girls are Spaghetti by Chad Eastham {3}
11. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins {4}
12. Fortune by Erica Spindler {2}
13. Divergent by Veronica Roth {3.5}
14. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen {4}
15. Theogony by Hesiod {4}
16. The Magicians by Lev Grossman {4.5}

17. A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley {3}

18. The Iliad by Homer {5}

19. Winter Garden by Kristen Hannah {4}

20. Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller {3.5}

21. Quicksilver by Stephanie Spinner {2.5}

22. MAX by James Patterson {3}

23. Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen {3}

24. Inheritance by Christopher Paolini {3.5}

25. Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry {and someone else...} {3.5}

26. Dreadful Sorry by Katherine Reiss {2}

27. A Thief in the House of Memory by Tim Wynne-Jones {4}

28. Prophecy of the Sisters by Zink {3}

29. Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare {4.5}

30. Green Angel by Hoffman {3.5}

31. The Year of the Hangman by Blackman {3-3.5}

Twenty-Eleven New Friends

26, including a Spanish boy, a French boy, a Norwegian girl, and someone named Frank Fraank. I kid you not.

Twenty-Eleven {New} Movies

71, my favorites including:

Tangled

Sherlock Holmes {first one}

X-Men: First Class

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

Batman Begins

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Inception

Super 8

50/50

In Twenty-Eleven I...

Saw my first R-rated movie in the theater.

Participated in my first NaNoWriMo.

Got my driver's permit XD

Went to my first Renaissance Festival.

Got over someone.

Started working out for the first time.

Finally got my ears pierced.

Went to my first Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert.

Got a job.

Ate my first bacon roll-up.

Rode a plane for the first time.

Went to EUROPE.

Refrained from doing something stupid at the Open House for the first time.

Started my senior year of high school.

Wrote my first letter to Santa.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two-thousand eleven was quite a busy year. It has come and gone well before I noticed. I was lying in bed last night marveling at the fact that I started all those lists about a YEAR ago. It seems like it's been only a few months.

I changed a lot this year. I hadn't realized it until recently, but I am very much not the same girl who experienced New Year's last year. Last New Year's, I was heartbroken and trapped by the burden of masochism. I was working on those things, very hard, but I hadn't come out of them yet. I know now I had to be there to get where I am now.

In my seventeenth year, I feel that I have quietly become the person I was always supposed to be. I'm not grown up, I'm not done changing, I'm not perfect, and I'm not suggesting that I am. It's just that I've always felt a little "off," a little behind. This year I feel like I finally have both feet where they're supposed to be RIGHT NOW. I feel older and more in control of myself.

It's not so much that I have more answers; it's that I've finally learned how to live life the right way. I have to own my mind and heart and choices. I can't let other people or school or my personal flaws dictate who I am or how I respond.

When it comes down to it, I am my own person, and if I can give it all to God, I'll be doing pretty well.

A lot of my plans and wishes for twenty-eleven didn't happen, but that's alright. {Tomorrow will mark an official year of being erotica/pornography clean though :)} God's got it covered. As a fellow author, I think it's about time I start respecting God enough to give him the pen to my own story. He knows what's he's doing; like an author, he knows the ending and I'll just have to trust him that all the ups and downs are part of the plot.

Twenty-twelve is going to be my biggest transitional year yet. I'll become an adult; I'll graduate from high school; I'll begin college. Those are such monumental events that it makes it difficult to breathe when I think about them too hard. But they're coming whether I breathe easy or not XD

I feel optimistic about twenty-twelve--no matter what the Mayans say. I don't regret twenty-eleven {I'm not running away from it the way I was running from twenty-ten}, but I'm ready to face a new year.

Twenty-twelve, I now stand ready for life-alteration.

~Stephanie

"Clockwork Prince"

I am reading a fantastic, wonderful book.

"Clockwork Prince," by Cassandra Clare.

I loved her Mortal Instruments {MI} trilogy, and when she stared the Infernal Devices {ID} trilogy, I was ecstatic. "Clockwork Angel," the first ID book, came out in summer 2010, I read it and loved it with every ounce of my literary heart. I loved it more than my five-star-favorite MI books.

A few weeks ago, the second ID book, "Clockwork Prince" came out. I had to wait until I finished a college application to get at it, which I just did last week. Now I am reading "Prince."

Oh my.

*takes a moment to collect her thoughts*

Reading "Prince" isn't like being obsessed, when suddenly you're a lunatic and feel jittery and want to tell everything in sight about the story. It's much more beautiful than that.

Reading "Prince" is like slipping into a cool pool of water in a hushed, glowing wood and finding a treasure chest among the reeds. It's a hard-to-describe mix of smooth elegance and tightly-packed excitement.

Reading "Prince" makes the whole world look different. I see everyone as a character and want to conduct myself as a heroine. The house seems more beautiful and promising and food is a barely remembered necessity. My thoughts form themselves more neatly.

"Prince" is the kind of book you gracefully cannot put down. It's the kind of book you taste and smell and feel. It's the kind of book you wish would never end, because you don't want to live life without those characters in it.

While reading, I've gasped and squeaked and widened my eyes and bitten my lip and covered my mouth and laughed more times than I can count. Cassandra Clare is an artist, weaving characters and scenes so blindingly beautiful that I have to read some pages twice.

I love the characters, much more than usual, even for me. I love both the boys equally, differently, and painfully so. I feel for Tessa, who's completely, exactly like me. If I mutter something under my breath, she says it in the next sentence. If I think of a plan, Tessa has the same one. If I think I'd be afraid of something, Tessa confesses she is as well. If I realize something, Tessa realizes it on the next page too. If something never occurred to me and I suddenly feel like an idiot, the same thing shortly happens to Tessa.

Being so EXACTLY the same as the heroine of the story makes this trilogy, in some ways, more exciting than anything I've ever read. It's just as if I were in the story. I never feel frustrated at Tessa, as I usually do with book girls, because I understand and agree with everything she says or does. It's like being in the story; it's like seeing and feeling and choosing for myself. It's wonderful.

But it's not just Tessa that I love. I feel for all the characters; I don't have author-contempt for a single one. Clare hasn't tossed out any two-dimensional doozies the whole story and every person has a distinct voice. You don't hear Cassandra Clare in the book; you hear Will and Jem and Tessa and Magnus.

I know this has turned into a rant, and this isn't even a review since I'm not finished with the book. I was just taking a break from reading to grab a shower, but I had to get out my feelings. They were rushing and rolling and feeling so tangible that I had to do something with them.

I may come back later and read this and groan, closing my eyes and shaking my head at myself. I might think I was being stupid and dramatic and feel embarrassed for having published this post. But right now I just want to share with you how amazing I feel reading this story, and hope that you might read the books some day too.

~Stephanie

Book Review: Inheritance

Title: Inheritance
Author: Christopher Paolini
Stars: 3.5
Less-Than-500-Word Review in Short: After three books of set-up, the story of Eragon continues in this fantasy book full of occasional brilliance to come to a sloppy, unsatisfying end.
Back-of-the-Book: “It began with ‘Eragon’… It ends with ‘Inheritance.’

Long months of training and battle have brought victories and hope, but they have also brought heartbreaking loss. And still, the real battle lies ahead: they must confront Galbatorix. When they do, they will have to be strong enough to defeat him. And if they cannot, no one can. There will be no second chance.

The Rider and his dragon have come farther than anyone else dared to imagine. But can they topple the evil king and restore justice to Alagaesia? And if so, at what cost?”

I Say:
I read “Eragon” and “Eldest” after seeing the movie in 2006 and LOVED them. I bought “Brisingr” the day it came out. It was monumentally disappointing: full of filler, conceited word usage and a poor plot construction. I thought Paolini was going downhill, so I didn’t expect much from “Inheritance.”

Initially, the book lived up to my low expectations. The plot moved unnecessarily slowly and was chockfull of straight-up filler. I hoped the bunny trails would come back to mean something in the end, but they didn’t.

About page 300, things started happening. I got excited. The characters developed tremendously; I found myself genuinely interested in people I had hated or not cared about before. Pages 300-700 are GOLD. I read “Inheritance” for 6 hours straight Thanksgiving night.

But then came the ending. Bountiful loose ends, disappointing climax, unsatisfying resolution. I sat in my chair blinking as I read the last hundred pages thinking WTF.

Firstly, it was about the longest “ending” I’ve ever read. Secondly, if you’re going to make it so effing long, have some damn pay-off! Paolini alludes to so many mysteries during the series, and keeps it up through “Inheritance.” But does he explain himself? NO.

Then there are loose ends he NEEDLESSLY CREATES in “Inheritance,” then doesn’t address. And most of them are EASY FIXES, GUYS. Like legitimately ONE SENTENCE could have addressed them effectively; Paolini just didn’t bother. I can think of 7 ends that remain a shoddy mystery.
Then Paolini fixes stupid ends that no one cares about or remembers. Remember in “Brisingr” when Quimby gets killed because of Roran and Quimby’s wife vows revenge? Yeah, I didn’t either. But Paolini wastes 3 pages taking care of that one, by golly.

Ultimately, it was a book I am glad to have, and will probably read again because I love Eragon and a few other characters now. But really, it was poor writing and an needlessly unsatisfying end. This might be a good first draft, but Paolini’s editor needs to be shot.

I Liked:
- The middle: great character-development, gripping story, action, romance.

I Didn’t Like:
- Almost complete failed resolution.

Audience: “Inheritance” is PG or PG-13, just for the violence and a ridiculous implied scene towards the end, but no one too young for those aspects would ever wade through the story anyway.

This book is definitely worth the read, but be prepared to have unanswered questions.

~Stephanie

Being a Writer Again

I read Blue Like Jazz a few weeks ago. It was a pretty good read. A lot of it was boring and trying-too-hard-to-be-funny, but some of it was helpful. One segment I absolutely LOVED.

The author, Donald Miller, is, obviously, a writer. In chapter 16, he perfectly puts into words what it feels like to be one.

"Writers don't make any money at all. We make about a dollar. It is terrible. But then again we don't work either. We sit around in our underwear until noon then go downstairs and make coffee, fry some eggs, read the paper, read part of a book, smell the book, wonder if perhaps we ourselves should work on our book, smell the book again, throw the book across the room because we are quite jealous that any other person wrote a book, feel terribly guilty about throwing the schmuck's book across the room because we secretly wonder if God in heaven noticed our evil jealousy, or worse, our laziness. We then lie across the couch facedown and mumble to God to forgive us because we are secretly afraid He is going to dry up all our words because we envied another man's stupid words. And for this, as I said before, we are paid a dollar. We are worth so much more."

I laughed out loud for like five minutes straight. He pretty much summed it up right there.

~Stephanie