You said, "I know that this will hurt, but if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse."
I am God's newest and biggest fan. I've been running from what he was telling me for so, so long. I thought that if I was persistent enough, God would eventually get on board with MY plan. Unfortunately (or fortunately), God knows best, from the very beginning. Nothing ever occurs to God. He's not going to change his mind because I decide to defy him.
He tried to tell me, but I wrote it off, ignored it, explained it away, doubted it. It's all so clear now. It's brutal; it's tragic. In a way, it completely ruins everything. But it makes me smile. It makes me trust God.
It's the classic story, really. The I-Should-Have-Listened-to-God-From-the-Beginning story. You hear it a thousand times from a thousand different people in a thousand different situations, but you never believe it. You assume you're the exception. You figure maybe you're just hearing God wrong. Maybe what you're doing is really okay.
I'm not expecting this post to persuade you to listen to God. People have been directly and indirectly telling me to listen to God for months. I didn't listen to them, or God. I don't expect you to listen to me now. I just can't contain how shocked, impressed, and happy with God I am right now. I have to tell someone. So I might as well tell everyone.
My heart is breaking and healing all at once. Praise the God of the Paradox!
~Stephanie
Whatever it was, wow!
ReplyDeleteMy atheist mind sometimes admires how Christians just have that much unearned trust. I have been where you are, knowing things were not going to work out the way I want, knowing from the get go that it wouldn't and denying evidence to the contrary because I want things to work the way I want them too. I'm glad you are putting a good face on it. I am sure you are doing what you know in your heart to be right, even if it sucks it did not turn out how you want.
ReplyDeleteLove you girl. I'm so proud if you <3
ReplyDeleteobviously i have no idea what's going on, but i'm glad you are at this point now. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, guys :)
ReplyDelete~Stephanie