*eyeroll* "They've been together for fourteen days; they don't love each other."
I've always sided with the crowd of sneering onlookers. Love isn't something you feel all of a sudden when you go Facebook Official. It's a feeling, yes, but it's also a choice. {However, this is not a post where I will go into the definition of love.}
But a month or so ago, I had a revelation:
If you don't ALREADY love someone--at least in some way--why are you dating them to begin with?
It isn't actually a despicable, ridiculous thing to love someone two weeks into the relationship. Some people date casually {which is fine, as long as both parties are aware of it XD}, but a lot of people these days date because they really care about someone, and want to consider a future with them.
If you view dating the second way {I do}, then I think it's "worse" NOT to love someone two weeks into the relationship.
However.
There are different types of love. I think people should love each other as deep, genuine friends before they date. But it still might be {I'll even say PROBABLY IS} inappropriate for them to declare their everlasting feelings of truelove for each other after a fortnight of commitment.
Also, I do realize that the inappropriate declaration above is typically what the obnoxious Facebook posts refer to. So that's still terrible. But it got me thinking that in at least one way, it's unfair of us to say "You've only been dating for two weeks; you can't love each other."
Of course, bear in mind that it is always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always inappropriate and terrible to post gooey junk on Facebook.
Always.
So yeah. That's what I have to say about that.
~Stephanie
When I have a girlfriend, I'm gonna post gooey random stuff all over facebook. And then probably have to explain to my girlfriend why all of it's signed "this is for you, Stephanie."
ReplyDeletei definitely beyond a shadow of a doubt agree with what you have said here, but i also have to think that generally the people who post things like that all over facebook are probably 14 years old. I know that's not always the case, but I've noticed among my own sea of facebook followers that the younger the combined age of the couple, the most obnoxious the facebook posting. and not that i don't think young couples are necessarily uncapable of loving their partner after two weeks, I just think they really have no idea what love actually feels like. but i also don't believe that's their fault, it's just that they're young. they lack experience and therefore they just have no clue. so they definitely feel something, but they don't know how to describe it. cue mushy facebook love notes and the unstoppable vomiting of all their mutual facebook friends. hahaha.
ReplyDeleteWell.. It depends on your definition of love. In my opinion.. yes you are infatuated with the person when you start dating them. but true love.. that comes with time.. and work. It takes months of being together.
ReplyDeleteThough that doesn't apply if you've been friends with a person forever. Because it's quite possible to be in love with that type of person before you get into "that type" of a relationship.
Just my opinion :)
I totally agree with this! I've been in a relationship for a little under a month now and although I do feel extremely close to Yorum (and he feels the same towards me) we are not making promises, being idiots all over the internet, and saying things we can't possibly mean. Anything can happen at anytime and I think that people who are just beginning their relationship need to keep that in mind.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Alana... true love stems from trust, and that's something that just can't wholly be there in just two weeks.
It also helps to keep in mind how $&@#%*$ annoying it is when others post crap all over Facebook. God >.> hah(: