Thursday, June 30, 2011

< / 3

"Wisdom always chooses
these black eyes and these bruises
over the heartache that they say
never completely goes away."
~ Relient K

Urgh. I don't believe in falling in love when you're young. Especially at the age of, like, eight.

So it's really awkward and ironic that it happened to me.

Actually, "falling in love" is probably not the right sentiment. It wasn't mushy. Not really. I was too little for that. I mean, by the time I was thirteen it could have been mushy, but it wasn't. Not really. Even now it's not.

"Falling in love" doesn't really cover it either because A) that sounds romantic and B) it felt/feels deeper.

See, he was like my older brother and he was wonderful. Cocky, protective, hilarious, good-looking, popular, exciting, smart, witty. He loved strange names and reading just like I did, and still had an imagination even though he was "too old." Everyone liked him.

I have a way of getting attached to people by accident. He was my first experience with that.

I knew he would always be there for me, even though I annoyed him sometimes and sometimes he was a jerk to me. I knew he'd always be there. As I imagined myself older, he was there too. He would be there when I needed boy advice, if someone ever picked on me I knew I could tell him. He'd be at my graduation, at my wedding. He had this irreplaceable spot in my heart, my life.

But he didn't know that, I guess, because his family stopped coming to my church, and that was it. We never saw each other. We never talked. It was never the same. I wasn't invited to his graduation. He won't be here for mine. I'll probably hear about his wedding, but only because I'm friends with his sister.

His family left my church about five years ago. I finally got over the whole "heartache" thing sometime last year. I didn't really think about him much, but it wasn't out of denial or anything, I had just moved on. I had great friends, even some brother-figures, and I honestly didn't need him. I wished him well in his life, but our life spheres didn't and wouldn't ever touch. I was okay with that.

Then this week I found a poem I had written about him. Then my friend (his younger sister) wrote a blog post about him and how awesome he is and what he's doing in life, complete with pictures and a poem of her own.

Ever been kicked in the chest by a horse and then shoved onions in your eyes?

Me neither, but I think I know what that would feel like now.

I guess Relient K is right again; some heartache never completely goes away.


Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Character Judge

I like to pride myself on being a good judge of character.


I suck, guys. I unbelievably suck. At least, I used to. In fact, you could almost guarantee that someone would be the exactly opposite of what I judged them to be.

She seems nice! = She's a total bitch.
He's so real. = He's a player.
She's really stuck up. = She's sweet and shy.
He seems like fun. = He's a stick-in-the-mud.

And so on.

Then you have my friend Ellie who's always been a killer character judge. She judges people the instant she meets them--and she's always right.

She's a total bitch.
He's a player.
She's sweet and shy.
He's a stick-in-the-mud.

Except for lately. See lately our personalities have been doing strange 180s. She used to be very gray-area, now I'm starting to see things less in black and white. She used to have commitment issues, now it's me who can't stick to a decision. I used to suck at judging people, now it's her turn.

It all started with her idiot boyfriend. I judged him to be an emotional wreck of a person, manipulative, wussy and weak in his faith. She didn't see it.

I was right. Ha.

*clears throat* Sorry about that...

And she totally didn't see coming what happened in my little love...situation.

What's happening to us?? Things you used to count on, like me being wrong and her being right on, are suddenly falling apart. What's next? Gravity throws us upward? Goldfish don't smile back? Doctor Doofenshmirtz becomes good?

Oh well. At least there's still death and taxes.


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Being a Writer

I love it. But it's not the romantic gift it's cracked up to be. I'm sure a lot of you know what I'm talking about.

Being a writer is more like a mental illness than a gift.

When you're a writer, writing isn't really something you can just "not do." I mean, you CAN just NOT WRITE, but then you end up waking up in the middle of the night with your eyes like this O.O thinking, "Oh my god, oh my god, where is my notebook, where is my notebook" and fly out of bed and knock your lamp off trying to turn it on and tear your room apart looking for it. Because you had this one line that sounded good in the dream you were having and you might be able to use it sometime.

Or, you're just living life, maybe babysitting, and you get on the kids' tire swing. Sudden the warm breeze is just right and the sun hits your leg and the tree you're under seems perfect and the way the tire swings is spelling one thing to you: STORY IDEA. And yet here you are again without your notebook so you must as calmly as possible ask the kid you're watching if he has any notebook paper available please???

And, for the record, getting a story idea isn't always {or ever} accompanied by that delicious, dreamy look writers get in movies. You know, as an idea gently floats through their mind and they reach for a neat stack of paper and a quill pen.

Actually, getting a sudden story idea feels a lot like wetting your pants.

It's urgent, unexpected and embarrassing, especially if your eyes do the aforementioned thing {O.O}. For me, when an idea hits me like that, it's like a window has been opened to my soul, bright and blue and pure, and I'm afraid everyone can see into it. I feel the physical urge to cover myself.

{This is giving you a whole new appreciation for the mental illness metaphor I used earlier, isn't it?}

Then, if I'm with other people, it's awkward because 1) My eyes just did the bullfrog for no apparent reason and so 2) I have to play it off with some unconvincing excuse because 3) when that Soul Window is open my lying skillz are way incapacitated and 4) I'm also having to hide the fact that I desperately want to GET AWAY FROM YOU and write.

Then there's also the frequently referenced problem of the voices in your head.

Yeah, I don't get that. The only character who won't shut up is Ember, and she's basically an independent form of myself, so...yeah, however that works.

Buuut anyway you slice it, dice it, or look at it, we writers...

...are NOT normal.


Monday, June 27, 2011

The Hunger Games

Have you read those books? I've only read the first two. I'm waiting for my friend to give me the third one XD But. If you have. This post will be of considerable interest to you because it's about the


They're making a "Hunger Games" movie!!! And we all just happen to know someone in it, by the way. Elizabeth is an extra in the movie, and you can click HERE to hear all about her awesome experience.

Because I hate spoilers I'm going to avoid talking about the actual story in this post. I'm going to just give in to my opinionated nature and go after my thoughts on the casting decisions.


Jennifer Lawrence

So, first of all, I wanna say that I didn't picture Katniss like this. I think Jennifer is too old and too pretty. But she IS growing on me, and I don't feel like she was a HORRIBLE choice at all. Just not what I imagined.

Some of the other considerations for the part I like a lot better. My two favorites were Saoirse Ronan and Emma Roberts. They look more "Katniss" to me.

Emma Roberts

Saoirse Ronan


Josh Hutcherson

My initial reaction to Josh Hutcherson playing Peeta was "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO{OOO}OOOOOO!" Because I don't really like Peeta {*ducks flying objects*} and I really like Josh {at least on a superficial, hottness-wise level}. I pictured Peeta as handsome, yeah, but more of a plain, bold handsome, not so pretty-boy-hott.

Alternate picks for her include Alex Pettyfer and Lucas Till, two even WORSE picks in my opinion. I see Peeta looking more William Moseley or Beau Mirchoff. I'm reeeeeeeally feeling Beau as Peeta. Like, that's EXACTLY what I pictured except Peeta's hair is lighter.

William Moseley

Beau Mirchoff


Liam Hemsworth

Originally I loved Liam Hemsworth as Gale, but the more I look at him the more I feel like Liam is more of a Peeta. I really like Chace Crawford as Gale actually.

Chace Crawford


Elizabeth Banks

I like this choice.


Woody Harrelson

GREAT choice! He's the perfect Haymitch.

And that's my opinionated ramble for the day :D I'm not super dissatisfied with anyone, don't get me wrong. I think they'll all do a good job. I've seen a lot worse (IMO) casting jobs!

Can't wait for the movie!


Sunday, June 26, 2011


Day 1 {Saturday}:
Driving to the beach.
Making horrible faces in the car.
Mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Cookies'n'Creme Extreme ice cream
"Star Trek: the Prequel"

Day 2 {Sunday}:
Sermon about names {:O MY FAVORITE.}
Lasted less than an hour.
Impressive sandcastle
Finish "Star Trek."
Citrus chicken.

Day 3 {Monday}:
Long walk/run alone.
Thunderstorm blew up.
Running in the fat raindrops, rolling thunder, streaking lightning, crashing waves and blustery wind.
Amazing feeling.
Frozen pizza.
Watching the castle get attacked by the waves until midnight with a hott guy. {asterisk}

Day 4 {Tuesday}:
Inside day {don't want to tempt my sun poisoning}.
Watching "Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief"
Sun poisoning showing up anyway.
Calling my friend and tell her happy birthday.
Chocolate chip cookies.
Hitting the beach stores.

Day 5 {Wednesday}
Calmer waves.
Rebuilding sandcastle bigger, taller, stronger, faster than before.
Getting sunburned on my back.
Getting an upset stomach from Mexican.
Finishing the Hunger Games trilogy {*adds another book to the list of books that have made me cry*}

Day 6 {Thursday}
Sleep in day.
Raid the beach house bookshelves.
"Forture" by Erica Spindler.
Celtic necklace. {asterisk asterisk}
Italian foooood!
Hottttttttttttt waiterrrrrrrr. {asterisk asterisk asterisk}
Designated GIRLS NIGHT.
Ice cream.
Painting nails.
Watching "You've Got Mail."
Giving ourselves those sexy stick-on-with-a-washcloth tattoos.
Watching "17 Again."
Going to bed at 2am.

Day 7 {Friday}
Another inside day.
Walking 4 miles on the beach alone and seeing hott guys.

Day 8 {Saturday}
Packing up.
Coming home.

Asterisk {Watch the castle get attacked by the waves until midnight with a hott guy}:
So. Cassidy and I built this really kick-ass sand castle. Well at least it WOULD HAVE BEEN if we'd had about ten people and three weeks to build. But we didn't. So we built the BEGINNING of a really kick-ass sandcastle. You could easily bury four grown men in the moat. It was about three feet deep and ten feet long. The castle walls were over a foot thick and built really beautifully if I do say so myself.

Unfortunately, we knew when the tide came it that the Steph-and-Cass-Castle would be history. So we decided to park ourselves behind the structure and watch it be destroyed.

It got really dark and really beautiful and really peaceful and really imagination-inspiring. We had some fascinating conversations, peed in the ocean and almost saw Jack Sparrow.

Then around 11, just as the waves were beginning to reach our moat, this figure comes walking down the beach with a flashlight.

We were used to that by then; apparently late-night beach walks aren't that uncommon. We'd been calling to the people to watch out for the moat, because, well, it was pretty damn deep and someone could really get hurt just falling into it by surprise. So we called out to the figure, "Moat! Watch the moat!"

It got closer. It was a guy. Whatever.

"A moat?" He got closer. "Daaaaang."
Me: "Yeah. It's massive." He was an OUR AGE guy. Well, maybe a little older, but definitely not out of range.
Guy: "Good thing you said something," he said. "I just had knee surgery; I'd have fallen right in."
Me: *laughs* "Yeah, that would have sucked." {<--no points for originality, I know.} "We've been building this castle all day and decided to watch the waves tear it down."
Guy: "You just built this??"
Me: "Well not JUST built it, but yeah. All day long."
Guy *circles castle* "Wow. I wanna watch this thing too."

And he did.

He sat down in the sand and I sat down next to him. He was really funny, nice, smart, and polite. I found out he's going to college this fall. And, get this, he lives near me. Like 15 minutes away. WHAT ARE THE FREAKING ODDS??

And then I killed it.

Guy: "So are you guys high school or college?"
Me: "High school." {This is where I should have said we'd be seniors, but DIDN'T. UGH.} "We're home schooled." SH*********************T. >>>.<<< I don't know when to shut up. Truth is we ARE home schooled, but DANG. He didn't ASK.

And then it gets worse.

After a really smooth, fun goodbye conversation, we parted ways happily.

And I never. got. his. name.


So basically. I suck. I had truelove practically in my reach {ex dee} and I dropped it. I didn't just let the sucker go, I DROPPED HIM. URGH.

So yeah. Sob story over.

Asterisk Asterisk {Celtic necklace}:

This asterisk isn't that long. I took about twenty minutes deciding which Celtic necklace to buy. Chances are you won't know this, but I'm obsessed with Celtic stuff. Culture, jewelry, Ireland, etc.. I love it. I also really get into symbolism. So when I stumbled across these necklaces that held both, PLUS they were really freaking pretty, it was a tough decision.

I struggled between five different choices. If you're actually interested, click on the name and it'll tell you about the necklace. I also took the descriptions into account when choosing; I'm not one to go by just the pretty look.

Dragon - Guardian Spirit I liked the dragons XD
Cerridwen - Transformation, Inspiration I liked the pattern and what it stood for.
Cat - Intuition, Prophecy I liked this a LOT because of the title. It applied to me.
Celtic Cross - Celestial Energy I basically just liked the way this one looked. It was the one that first caught my eye. Unfortunately I didn't like the description that much.
Spirals - Spiritual Growth I liked the description a lot, but not so much the actual necklace.

In the end, Transformation Inspiration won. I liked the look, I liked the symbolism, and it seemed like the perfect thing to take to Europe. I'll hopefully be inspired, transformed.

Asterisk Asterisk Asterisk {Hottttttttttttt waiterrrrrrrr}:

I'll try to make this brief, but it's late at night as I'm writing this and I just can't seem to shut up.

There was a hott waiter at the Italian restaurant. He unfortunately looked a little young, maybe more 16ish, but DAAAAANG he was SO ATTRACTIVE. He reminded me and Cass of Jeremy Sumpter. Like, a lot. He was TALL and lanky {totally my thing} with brown hair and the most attractive face. We both loved his voice {which is a big deal for me} and his smile was absolutely Hayden Christensen-esque. The butter on the table melted.

There was quite an awkward moment between us though. When he was filling my sister's water glass, I was staring at him. I know, bad move, but he seemed really absorbed in the whole icewaterpitcher thing, so I felt safe. Riiiiight.

He looked up. Saw me staring. Oops. I looked down, but it wasn't all that subtle. And THEN. It was time to fill my glass. He had to reach an awkwardly long distance because of where I was sitting, so I decided to help him. I reached for my glass, and so did he. Our hands touched. Oops again. Then we both did the awkward "I'll-get-it-no-you-get-it" dance with our hands a couple of seconds before he said in his smooth, amused, attractive voice, "I got it."

He did. He had it allllll.

So yeah. I really do apologize for being so high school {or maybe even middle school. yech.} about all this. It's just that I'm exhausted and I had the best beach trip ever and I missed two amazing guys, so I'm a little torn up at the moment. Yeah.

That's gotta be it.

Oh. And my sister took pictures. Like, a lot of pictures. Here are some of them. Captions on the bottom.

Me and Cass making the Slug Face. Isn't it absolutely repulsive?

Me and a giant cheetah. Yeah.

So apparently I look cool in the wind like that. With a towel... *sigh* Living with a photographer is never dull.


Finish product :D You can't see it well {I might find more pictures later, but I'm TIRED}, but it's a little curve of stars and a dolphin jumping over my belly button.

Building our castleeeee.




Sunday, June 19, 2011


Guess where I am? :D

Oh yeah. Be jealous. One week. Sand. Sun. Wind. Ocean. Sleep. Friends. Tan. Fun.


I'll post when I get back. Until then, sayonara :D


Saturday, June 18, 2011

Worth a Thousand Words Week: Loss

Btw, the poll closed yesterday and it looks like strawberries are the most popular berry XD Poor blueberries only had one vote :'( Don't miss the chance to answer the blatantly character-revealing poll now in progress.


Monday, June 13, 2011

Worth a Thousand Words Week: Nessie

Thanks for following, Annabelle!

And on that note, I'm still Twi-ing...

Chapter Five:

pg. 86: THERE'S the Bella we all know and hate!

pg. 88: And so begins the path of abandoning friends for Edward. *sigh*

pg. 89: Oh sure Edward, tell her to stop being friends with you, then chase her down every chance you get. That's not confusing and stupid at all.
She says she's trying to decide if Edward is a Bruce Wayne or a Peter Parker. Wow, Bella, Bruce Wayne doesn't have powers. You're definitely thinking of Clark. Get your superheroes straight.

pg. 90: Maybe I'm just in a cynical mood today, but this is getting cheesy fast.

pg. 92: Although admittedly, Edward is still a little breathtaking.

pg. 93: "What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?" SERIOUSLY, CASTING DIRECTOR. ROBERT PATTINSON CANNOT DO THIS. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

pg. 94: Oh riiiiight. THAT'S why Edward is skipping class. ...lols.

pg. 96: Bella sometimes reminds me of my Official Best Friend, Ellie.

pg. 97: Genuine laugh #8. Heh.
She only weighs 110 pounds? Jeezus, how short IS she?

pg. 99: Damn. Laugh #9.

pg. 102: Despite myself I wish there were Edwards in the world. Ugh, and I was really convinced that I would hate him this time around. I really think it's just Pattinson. He just unbelievably sucks. And not blood.

pg. 103: O.O Jeez. Edward is...volatile.

pg. 104: *narrows eyes* Okay, that is way too bossy, Edward. If you weren't a vampire I'd slap you. And if you weren't made of paper and ink.

pg. 107: Okay, Edward is the most unsubtle, ridiculous flirt ever. He's obviously attention-starved. And hott, but that's beside the point.

pg. 108: No secrets in Forks...or so YOU think, Bella.


Sunday, June 12, 2011

Lessons from a Mallard

Thanks for following, Foxyblur!

This is a male cardinal.

This is a female cardinal.

This is a male lion.

This is a female lion.

This is a male mallard.

This is a female mallard.

This is a male human.

This is a female human.


*sings* One of these things is not like the other...

The other day Brianna's little brother asked me, "Why do girls take so long to get ready in the morning?"

Me: "'Cause we want to actually look good. Don't you like it when girls look good?"

Little brother: "Guys don't do anything, we just get dressed and go."

Me: "Yeah, but see...hey, wait a second... You have a point. Why DO we girls have to try??"

Look at nature, people. The male cardinal is trying as hard as he can to be the brightest thing out there. The male lion is puffing his mane up for all he's worth. The male mallard is holding his head high and hoping to catch a female's eye.

The female animals don't really worry about looking good. They have their CHOICE of males. The males come to THEM. The females are ALREADY DESIRABLE. They don't have to DO anything; the males are the ones making the effort, striving to attract a mate.

So I got to thinking.


When did humans become the way we are? Who decided that the girls have to try harder? Who decided that guys can be hott in a T-shirt but girls need eyeliner? What business does a guy have picking out the "hott" girls when he hasn't even combed his hair?

Look to nature, people. Girls, you're beautiful. Take it from the female cardinal, you're desirable the way you are. Guys, it's not all up to us. Go get the 411 from your friendly neighborhood lion and take some initiative.


Saturday, June 11, 2011

Epic Paradox

The results are in! You voted and Tall Dark and Handsome Guys (TDS) won out over the Sweet Sensitive Surfer Guys (Triple S)!

Oh and guess what. On a totally unrelated side-note, I did NOT miss my 100th post. Blogger counts drafts and threw me off. I had 100 post including all the random nonsense I had saved, but not 100 ACTUAL POSTS.

So we can still do something special :D Any ideas?

What should I do for Pandora's 100th Post Celebration?


Friday, June 10, 2011

Loving Life

Thanks for following, Jay and Danielle!! You guys are so awesome.

I really love my life, you guys. Right now, I just feel so happy and content. My life isn't perfect and there are things I would change, but right now I just feel great. Junior year was one of the best years of my life, and I'm so glad I just lived it and loved it.

I got accepted to go to Europe.
I actually tried my best in school.
I got over someone completely, ftw.
I got a LOT closer to my class friends.
I applied for a job.
I had the best birthday party ever.
I met Aladdin and Jasmine (I SWEAR, guys, it was really them. Not joking.)
I learned Spanish.
I got a heater for my room.
I started working out.
I found Happy Days, Bonanza and The Waltons.
I effortlessly let go of a friend that needed to be let go, and I'm okay.
I can drive (sort of).
I finally read the Harry Potter series.
I went to Catalyst.
I got side bangs.
Cassandra Clare published TWO books.
I saw Beastly.
My legs aren't in bad shape for once.
I got closer to God.
I got a phone that's awesome.

So yeah. I love my life. Junior year was great. Bring on Junior Summer.

SENIOR year...

Yeah. Let's not think about that yet.


Thursday, June 9, 2011


Btw guys, go to Google today. It's pretty awesome.

Summer is...

waking up late to bright, warm sun.

throwing the sheet off to reveal tanned skin.

using your muscles in ways you haven't all year.

wearing less clothes.

steamy air and gentle breezes.

flip-flop tans.

getting good at mounting a float.

living in a bikini.

gliding under the water and feeling like a mermaid.

eating less and playing more.

spending more time in the lake than on the land.

perfecting the technique of running on sand.

late-night trips to Target.

having 70% of your diet be fruit.

...and the other 30% be ice cream.

watching your body get brown and your face get freckled.

blurring the line between family and friends.

living each day moment to moment.

painting your nails, even though the lake water chips them.

coming home at dusk, still feeling rocked by the water.

being consumed by that warm, exhausted, contented tiredness.

stumbling to bed at 10 o'clock.



Wednesday, June 8, 2011


Thanks for following, Hazel!!

So, I told you guys about Jeremy and Jason a while ago. The twins that were like my older brothers when I was two. They taught me all the important stuff like how to cross my eyes, play Frisbee, and pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time.


They are 15 years older than me, and since I'm 17, that makes them, like, a whopping 32. They've both gotten married in the last 7ish years {to girls that I approve of btw} and guess what?

Jason now has 2 daughters, Charlotte {5ish?} and Caroline {1ish?}. Awww :)

Unfortunately we rarely seen the twins or their families. Rare as in "every five years or so." It's depressing, but there you have it.

A couple of weeks ago, though, we got to see them! It was at a baby shower for Jeremy and Jason's older brother's wife. {That's not unnecessarily confusing at all.} I hadn't seen Charlotte since she was about 1 and a half, before you could even tell what she was going to look like. Well, when I saw her at the baby shower...

*WHAM* It felt like someone had broken ice over my face, and it felt good.

The strangest feeling washed over me. It was an intense, choking sort of joy that made me want to laugh and cry and scream and hold her at the same time.

She looked like Jason. Jason's face was on this little person. One of my FRIENDS was in this tiny little face.

I can't explain it. I mean, it's not like I hadn't seen a kid before. It's not like I hadn't seen a kid that looked like her parents before. But this was DIFFERENT. This was one of my FRIENDS' FACES on ANOTHER PERSON.

This was Jason's FACE on his DAUGHTER.

It was like seeing a child for the first time. A face that I knew and loved and was familiar with was reprinted in a little girl's genes. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Every move she made was special and perfect. Watching her eat, watching her smile, watching her walk, every move was fascinating and not to be missed. I didn't want to miss a second of this little miracle.

It was the strangest feeling I've ever had. For the first time, I understand what people mean by the "miracle of life." Now I understand why adults love to see babies so much. Now I understand why people cry when they see their friends' children.

It's something entirely different and impossible to explain. I wouldn't have understood it if someone had explained it to me for days. It's something you have to experience. It's a feeling so new and different nothing can compare. It's like I was blind my whole life and suddenly I was seeing something bright and new and special that I'd always missed before.

I just cannot get over it. Children really are such miracles.


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

X-Men First Class

Soo, in case it wasn't obvious, I've recently been to see "X-Men First Class."

I watched the first three X-Men movies last summer and pretty much thought they were crap. Very forgettable with a weak story, weaker characters and a plotline akin to something two bored twelve-year-olds would write.

*clears throat* Sorry if you love those movies. I'm in a brutally honest mood.

So when I decided to go see the latest X-Men installment with my friends, I was prepared to hate the movie.

I was so completely wrong.

I left the theater beaming and glowing with the excited sort of energy you get after seeing something really great.

I am a total movie snob and I LOVED "X-Men First Class."

The plot was tight, the character development was topnotch, the special effects were great, and the script was perfect (witty, serious and believable). I felt like the movie was a beautifully-crafted, plausible explanation for how all the characters behave in the original movies.

I especially liked the relationship between Erik/Magneto and Charles/Professor X. I found it tremendously believable and a little bit heartbreaking.

The whole movie was absolutely brilliant, incredible. That's all there is to it.

As to be expected, my favorite character was Erik/Magneto, the antagonist of the original three movies. I found him devastatingly attractive and I can't put my finger on why. Is it just me? He's really not the type I'm usually drawn to. As a general rule I think older guys are creepy when it comes to sexiness. But not him. I was wide-eyed and captivated from the moment I saw him.

I cannot wait to see this movie again.


Monday, June 6, 2011

I'm Twi-ing: Chapter Four

Yeah. I'm rereading Twilight. And I'm making you suffer through it with me by posting my questions and comments >:D Mwahahaha mwaha mwa...

It's actually not as bad as I'd originally feared, guys.

pg. 69: I like how casually school life is presented. Informative, but not too detailed and dull. We're not here to read about how Bella's pencil ran out of lead; we're here to drool over physically desirable paranormal creatures. Duh.

pg. 70: Oh boy. Whenever Bella gets "depressed" it's alarming. I'm afraid she's gong to become catatonic a little early this time through.

pg. 72: I love how realistically awkward high school conversations are.

pg. 74: I couldn't allow him to have this much influence over me. It was pathetic. It was unhealthy. Glad you recognize that, Bella, but I'm afraid it just goes downhill from here.

pg. 75: Bella's klutziness is a tad more endearing than I'd thought it would be.

pg. 76: Although I still don't get why every guy is after her. Like, really. It's not like every boy is attracted to her scrumptious blood. What's the deal?

pg. 77: 4th genuine laugh of the book.
5th. Wow, 2 laughs in one page. Good job, Stephenie.

pg. 78: 6th! Dang. I must be tired.

pg. 79: You know, this is not as horrid as I'd anticipated. {Yet.} Bella makes sense. And she's not obsessive. {Again, yet.}

pg. 81: 7th laugh. Charlie...lols.
Robert Pattinson couln't pull off Edward's voice is Voldemort had him under an Imperius Curse.

pg. 82: Lols, he's so attractively irritating.

pg. 83: "The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business." Gotta love his sense of sarcastic irony. At least I do.


Sunday, June 5, 2011


There are a lot of things you need to know about me to understand me. Fortunately for you, I'm not going to force that extensive knowledge on you. {>insert your tremendous relief<} But, there is one desire that has defined me since I was two years old that I am going to share with you:

The desire to have an older brother.

When I say that, I usually get a chorus of "Aw, me too"s from those who are brotherless and "Um, no you don't"s to those who are brotherful. What I have to say to that is "Yeah, not like I do" and "Um, yes I do."

See, this desire is more than just a shallow feeling living in the back corner of my brain. This desire has always been a full-blown, desperate longing.

It started when I was two. I informed my parents that I wanted an older brother. They calmly explained to me that I had been born first, and it was a little late for that. I just kind of stared at them. How dumb did they think I was? I KNEW that. But there were other options available here, like, hm, I dunno...


They told me we didn't have the money to adopt, which, looking back, was so, so, so, so SO true.

But that didn't stop me.

I decided to take matters into my own hands. If I couldn't have a real brother, I would have to fake it. All my imaginary games began to incorporate a "big brother."

Then I started claiming these two teenaged twin boys at my old church: Jeremy and Jason. They were fifteen years older than me, and perfect brother material. They taught me to play Frisbee and cross my eyes and they would take massive cups of bouncy balls and throw them down the hall with me. They were terrific, really terrific.

Unfortunately, when I was five, we moved and I didn’t see Jeremy and Jason very much anymore. {They were also at college, which made it even harder.}

But I couldn’t live without an “adopted” older brother, so I got to work. I mentally auditioned every older guy I met. I even asked one if he'd be my older brother when I was about seven. He thought I was mental.

Even though I knew it was useless, I prayed for an older brother every night. I wished for one on every birthday and every star. I was so lonely without one. I actually felt like there was a part of me missing. The lack of a brother cast a shadow on every area of life. Why didn’t I have one? The people who did surely couldn’t love and appreciate one as much as I would! It seemed like the world's biggest injustice.

When I was eight, this girl and her older brother started coming to our church. They were nice, and after a while, I became best friends with the girl, Jesse {yeah, no “i”}. She was into the same pretend-games I was, and we had all the same weird interests. One of the coolest parts was that her brother would actually play with us.

He was definitely the brother I'd always wanted. He treated me just like a sister, I treated him like a brother. He would play with me, talk to me, protect me, make me laugh, explain things to me. I loved him and trusted him more than any other guy in the world.

He played imaginary games with us every night after Wednesday night Bible study. Me, Jesse and a bunch of other kids would all run outside to the swing-set in the summertime and wait for him to come play with us. We played Orphans, Spies, Pirates, Kidnapped, etc..

Unfortunately all good things must come to an end. His family left our church and I never saw him much again. The worst part was that he didn’t seem to care. I loved him with all my little girl heart, and he let me go without so much as an “I’ll miss you.” *dramatic sigh* Yeah. That hurt some. Maybe it still does. But anyway.

Point being, I’ve always wanted an older brother, basically to a mentally insane level. The need is very present in the way I think. I feel lonely, like I used to have something that was taken away, or I'm supposed to have something I don't. Like there's a piece of my life missing. Sometimes it feels like I'm living a mistake.

I also know my dad would really like a boy, too. My dad was the last male >insert our last name<. This is the generation my family name dies. If I had had an older brother, our name could live on.

But I also know my dad wouldn't trade me or my sister for ANYTHING. He loves us to death. But sometimes I still feel bad. Like I should have been the boy, and that would have fixed everything. My dad would have a son. He wouldn't have to show his daughter all the stuff about tools and yard work just because he has no one else to tell. At least my little sister would have an older brother.

I also feel kind of lonely a lot. Not for lack of friends, but for lack of...a brother. I don't like being the oldest, and I want someone to look up to, to help me out, to talk to, to protect me if I were ever in trouble.

In a lot of ways, I feel like I’M the older brother. I'm the one who kills the spiders, looks into the weird noises Lizzy hears in the basement, checks behind the closet doors, likes the gory movies, enjoys trekking through the woods, and annoys my little sister. But I don't like being the "older brother." I wish I had someone else to do it.

In the past couple of years, the desire has slowly started to get less intense, and that's a huge shock and relief. After 15 years, I was beginning to think I'd be semi-miserable my whole life. But it's gotten better, I don't cry and obsess all the time like I used to XD It helps that I have good guy friends in my life who can function as older brothers, kind of like I had when I was little.

So yeah. I know this was EXTREMELY long, and not even that funny to make up for it XD If you made it this far, congrats! If you didn't, I guess I can find it in my heart to forgive you ;)



Saturday, June 4, 2011

Somebody Get Me a Glass

So, on a quick side note, guess what? THIS IS PANDORA'S 100TH POST! WOOOOT! I probably should have seen this coming and planned something. But. I didn't. So you get this instead.

Gets me every time.


Friday, June 3, 2011


Thanks for following, Charlotte! :D Love your blog.

Are they good or bad? I don't care {at least at the moment. Normally it's the kind of debate I'd like.}. Today I am here to embrace them in a discussion of

Guy Stereotypes: Tall Dark and Handsome vs. Sweet Sensitive Surfer

Two stereotypes, two choices, two opposite elements. Both can be hott, I'll be the first to admit, but every girl has a "Type," and mine just happens to be the former, TDH.

He's mysterious, shadowy and sarcastic. Dark hair, mischievous eyes, smooth voice. Intense, clever and the tiniest bit dangerous.

Just out of curiosity, I Googled "tall dark and handsome." My screen filled with images like this


and this

If there had been any doubt in my mind that this was my Type, it was immediately erased.

On the other hand, my good friend Brianna is partial to the Triple S type. Chill, blonde and sensitive. The sparkling white smile, the sexy tanned skin, the bright blue eyes. Funny and sweet the slightest bit shy.

I Googled "hott blonde guys" in order to get some examples.

Yeah. Not my type.

What about you guys? Is your type TDH or the Triple S?


Thursday, June 2, 2011


Thanks for following, Philosophia! I love your name, I love your blog, and I love that you make the 25 follower! Somehow that feels like a milestone. Anyway.

This post is inspired by the lovely Elizabeth :D She posts "music that moves her" every so often, and today I'm going to do just that. There are a few songs that have grabbed me lately and I decided to share them with you.

The Lonely ~ Christina Perri
Absolutely beautiful. The tune, her voice, the lyrics. It's a graceful, tragic work of art.

Rabbit Heart ~ Florence and the Machine
This one I actually got right from Elizabeth's blog. Love the song, love the video, love the lyrics.
Unfortunately embedding has been disabled for the video -___- Go figure. To watch the awesome video I love, click HERE. Or you can just watch this lesser vid XD

The Call ~ Regina Spektor
I think we all know this song. The first, like, ten times I listened to it, I cried. Her voice is perfect for this and the lyrics are strangely relatable and applicable. I just love it.

Hope you found something that moved you :)


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Top Ten: Best Book Characters

This was an unbelievably difficult list to make. My original list contained 23 fabulous, complex, well-written, un-cuttable characters. But I was determined to get it down to 10. There had to be some way to determine the BEST 10. So I had to establish a couple of qualifications:

1) The character must be a teen.
{So minus Dustfinger and Scout, the list is now down to 21.}
2) The character cannot come from an already-recognized masterpiece (e.g. Lord of the Rings).
{After crossing out Aragorn and Frodo {Lord of the Rings}, and Hamlet {Hamlet} there are only 18 to pick from.}
3) No villains—I’ll make a separate Top Ten list for them.

Then I had to decide on the criteria. What exactly makes for a good character?

1) Complexity - Dimension, secrets, backstory, mystery, intrigue...
2) Realism - Yeah, right, like anyone is really like THAT.
3) Likeability - Hey, if you don't even LIKE them, how good can they be?
4) Uniqueness - Ixnay on the icheclay.
5) Voice - Are they funny? Is their dialogue clever? Does it reflect their character?

So I got to work, doing what I do best: overanalyzing. I rated every character on the criteria on a scale of 1-20 and lopped off the 8 lowest scores. Bella Swan {Twilight}, Johnny Tremain {Johnny Tremain}, Murtagh {Eragon}, Stargirl {Stargirl}, Jian {The Farsala Trilogy}, Valentina {Her Fearful Symmetry}, Soraya {The Farsala Trilogy}, and Jace {The Mortal Instruments Trilogy} were gone.

But WAIT. I love some of those characters more than the ones that technically made the cut!

And I decided that was okay. I could rethink my ratings depending on who I thought should be allowed to stay. I mean, this is my own personal opinion.

I only-a-little-reluctantly allowed Bella, Stargirl and Murtagh to be cut. I also cut Daniel {The Bronze Bow}.

Then I decided that although Art Robbins is GREAT, he wasn’t really part of the same genre as the rest of the characters. He didn’t seem to fit. I let him go.

I admitted to myself that I actually hate Valentina and am not even a huge fan of “Her Fearful Symmetry,” so I cut her too.

I was down to 12.

Next I considered Ponyboy {The Outsiders}. I loved him and everything, but he was from S.E. Hinton’s early work, and you can tell a bit. He’s a little less well-written than some of the others, although he’s great. So I took him off the list.

The more I thought about it, the more I felt like letting Johnny Tremain go too, so I did.

My list of the Top Ten Best Book Characters was complete. Some of the scores were ties, so I used my judgment to place them. And here you go: the finished product:

Top Ten Best Book Characters
First Place
Tex from “Tex” by S.E. Hinton
Total score out of 100: 96
Complexity: 18
Realism: 20
Likeability: 18
Uniqueness: 20
Voice: 20

Second Place
Mark from “That Was Then, This is Now” by S.E. Hinton
Total score out of 100: 96
Complexity: 19
Realism: 20
Likeability: 19
Uniqueness: 20
Voice: 18

Third Place
Tessa from “Clockwork Angel” by Cassandra Clare

Total score out of 100: 96
Complexity: 19
Realism: 20
Likeability: 19
Uniqueness: 19
Voice: 19

Fourth Place
Will from “The Infernal Devices Trilogy” by Cassandra Clare

Total score out of 100: 95
Complexity: 20
Realism: 18
Likeability: 19
Uniqueness: 20
Voice: 18

Fifth Place
Motorcycle Boy from “Rumble Fish” by S.E. Hinton

Total score out of 100: 95
Complexity: 20
Realism: 18
Likeability: 18
Uniqueness: 20
Voice: 19

Sixth Place
Tom Sawyer from “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” by Mark Twain

Total score out of 100: 94
Complexity: 15
Realism: 20
Likeability: 20
Uniqueness: 19
Voice: 20

Seventh Place
Harry Potter from the “Harry Potter” series by J.K. Rowling

Total score out of 100: 91
Complexity: 19
Realism: 19
Likeability: 17
Uniqueness: 19
Voice: 17

Eighth Place
Jace from “The Mortal Instruments Trilogy” by Cassandra Clare

Total score out of 100: 88
Complexity: 17
Realism: 16
Likeability: 20
Uniqueness: 15
Voice: 20

Ninth Place
Soraya from “The Farsala Trilogy” by Hilari Bell
Total score out of 100: 88
Complexity: 18
Realism: 18
Likeability: 17
Uniqueness: 18
Voice: 17

Tenth Place
Jian from “The Farsala Trilogy” by Hilari Bell

Total score out of 100: 86
Complexity: 17
Realism: 18
Likeability: 17
Uniqueness: 18
Voice: 16

In case it wasn't obvious, I love all of these characters and highly recommend reading the stories that belong to them :)