Sunday, July 28, 2013

"Only Pictures"

The title is in quotation marks because we all know how difficult it is for me to forgo using words. It's not impossible, but it's hard enough that I don't want to attempt it on a Sunday afternoon on three hours of restless sleep when I'm supposed to be in California right now. {The joys of flying standby continue.}

I'd like to answer the narcissistic question "Who am I?"

 This is Me.

 This is also me.

This used to be me.

I love books.

And tea.

And I sometimes have nightmares or sleepwalk, resulting in scenes like this.

But I really love dreams. A lot.

I have four best friends.




And Sam {of whom there are no serious solo pictures}

 I have been to Europe.

I have worn a grass skirt and seashell bra.

And I have had a broken heart.

I do this a lot, even though I'm almost not a teenager anymore.

 I have always been a dancer.

And a writer.

 And I might be able to do this, but I'm not actually sure.

 This describes how I feel about myself.

This is how I wish my hair looked.

This describes my sense of humor.

And this my philosophy of relationship.

And this of life.

I like unusual things.
And as always, I love Batman and heels.

That is all.


Monday, July 8, 2013

Anger Scale

Today I referred to being "level 7 angry," and that got me thinking about how I would actually break down my anger scale. After much deliberation {and you know that's true}, I give you my personal Anger Scale.

Level 1: Neutral. Not angry.

Level 2:
Symptoms:  Mental flick of irritation; wry smile
Description:/Example  A small, intentional offense designed to make me playfully annoyed. This barely counts as "anger."

Level 3:
Symptoms:  Edge in voice; stiffer body language
Description/Example:  Usually a result of Level 1 taken too far

Level 4:
Symptoms:  Slight temper flare; embarrassment; snapping at others, then immediately covering it up;
Description/Example:   Something that bothers me a lot, but that I realize shouldn't affect me so much

Level 5:
Symptoms:  Feeling of anger; desire to remove self from situation; need for someone who understands how I feel
Description/Example:  Someone cheating at a game; someone spreading harmfully inaccurate information

Level 6:
Symptoms:  Scowl; vengeful streak returns, resulting in regrettable words that I have no current desire to take back;
Description/Example:  If someone pisses me off when I'm already at Level 5

Level 7: 
Symptoms:  Scowl; clarity of thought; motivation to right the wrong;
Description/Example:  A minor but legitimate offense against me or someone I love; a third party screwing up something official like a dorm room assignment or a scholarship letter; a heated debate

Level 8:
Symptoms:  Tears of frustration; general heightened stubbornness; need for music;
Description/Example:  Something like my parents relentlessly nagging me or treating me unfairly; my sister being an unreasonable brat

Level 9:
Symptoms:  Refusal to speak; elevated heart rate;
Description/Example:  A large, legitimate injustice that affects me or someone I love, especially at the hands of someone arrogant

Level 10:
Symptoms:  Trouble breathing; gritted teeth; eyes burning; dimming vision; spikes of adrenaline; barely restrained physical violence; fierce desire to make the perpetrator understand his/her wrong. Recalling a Level 10 event will bring back rage no matter how many years have passed.
Description/Example:  I can only ever remember being this angry four times in my life, and the range of provocation is hilariously broad. Instances range from a best friend refusing to guard an imaginary secret, to someone refusing to give credence to my opinion in a movie theater. What can I say, I'm weird.

I'm also really tired, so I probably shouldn't publish this yet, but I'm ready to be done with it XD


Friday, July 5, 2013

My Dear Future Children

{Continuing with the unused topics from the Blog Every Day Challenge.}

Day Thirteen:  Issue a public apology.

My dear Future Children,

I don't know you yet, and you definitely don't know me as I write this. However, I'd like to apologize in advance, because I know having me for a mother is going to be...a mother.

I'm sorry that you don't have a cell phone, iPod touch, or TV in your room. Call me old-fashioned, but there's nothing outdated about a little healthy use of your imagination.

I'm sorry that I constantly correct your use of the word "much" versus "many," and "less" versus "fewer." Your college professors will love you, I promise.

I'm sorry that I only let you watch an hour of TV a day.

I'm sorry that I make your do your math homework to within an inch of its life. I just know how it turns out when you, you know, don't do that.

I'm sorry that I make you drink milk and water instead of soda and juice like all the other kids.

I'm sorry that I don't let you read Harry Potter until you're too old to enjoy the first two books. I know it sucks, but I'm so glad my parents did that for me.

I'm sorry that I randomly speak to you in Spanish, German, Latin, and God Only Knows What Else.

I'm sorry that you know all the words to Linkin Park and Relient K instead of the latest pop songs.

I'm sorry that I don't believe you're really using the bathroom for twenty-five minutes. The book you're reading has disappeared from its spot on the couch, leaving little to my extensive imagination.

I'm sorry that I embarrass you by tap dancing in the grocery store checkout line.

I'm sorry that I don't let you date when you're fifteen.

But you know what? I'm not really sorry for any of this. You kids are going to be awesome. And odds are, one of you is going to turn out to be like me and then your grandma can point and laugh at me and say, "Nature's revenge is sweet."

Your sarcastic Future Mom