Saturday, April 30, 2011

Twin Day

It's not really. But if it were, I'd talk about how I've recently discovered the fact that Heath Ledger and Jordan Gordon-Levitt look a heck of a lot alike.

Hey, now that I'm on the subject...guess what? :3 Heath Ledger and Jordan Gordon-Levitt look a heck of a lot alike.


Who's this?

How about this?
Yeah. See what I mean?

It's ridiculous.
Maybe they're related.
Except they're not.
So, the obvious question can you tell them apart?? It's actually pretty easy: pick the one you think is more attractive.

That one's Heath Ledger.


Friday, April 29, 2011


Thanks for following, Jesayka!

Some things are harder to say than others. It's hard to tell you best friend that you can't come to her birthday party. It's hard to tell the truth when a fat person asks if you can tell they've lost weight. It's hard to admit when you're wrong.

But for me, there are three phrases in particular that I find hard to say. And when I say "hard," I mean "borderline impossible." What are they?

"I love you."

"I'm sorry."

"Help me."

Even though I know it is not true, something inside me says those words show weakness. "I love you" makes you vulnerable, "I'm sorry" makes you wrong, and "Help me" makes you inadequate.

When people tell me they love me, I can usually get out a "Love you too," but I'm rarely the one to say it first. The more I feel it, the harder it is. To tell someone you love them is like putting your fragile soul in their hands. Not only do they have the power crush it, but you just told them so! Telling people "I love you" gives them some control over you, and for some reason it wounds my pride. It feels a little like saying, "Wow, you're so amazing you've broken through my defenses." I have real trouble with that.

"I'm sorry" might be even harder. I think about my mom as I type this. She expects me to fall over myself apologizing day and night, but does she ever do it herself? No. She doesn't. Everything is always my fault, even when it isn't. As a result, I become defensive when I'm expected to say "I'm sorry." I refuse to take blame that isn't mine, and although that rarely happens around others, because of my mom I've learned to despise the words "I'm sorry."

I hate asking for help. I hate it. It makes me angry and irritable. I don't like to think that I can't do something on my own. I'm supergirl, okay? I don't need help. I'm fine. Go away. Of course sometimes help is absolutely necessary, because I'm not actually supergirl. I'm just Stephanie. But that doesn't mean I like saying "Help me" any more.

I know I can't be alone in this phrase-phobia. What about you? What are some of the things you find it difficult to say?


Thursday, April 28, 2011

April 15-24

So far so good. I haven't straightened my hair all April long...

April 15
Pretty sure I was listening to Relient K.

April 16
That's the only face I can make, apparently.
April 17
Oh, and this awkward lip thing...whatever that is.

April 20
I have an explanation for this. I had to babysit against my will. But don't worry; I fixed my hair before I actually left the house.
April 21
I look kinda like I have a mane XD
April 22
Yeahh... :D

April 23
My bangs were annoying me, so I twisted them back...
April 24
...and my hair turned out like this for Easter! I actually liked it, and that means I have not straightened my hair at all this month! YAY ME!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Our Generation is So, Like, You Know...

Thanks for following, Tinuke!

Video poem by Taylor Mali.

Couldn't have said it better myself.


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Quite Unrequited

Yes, my "love" for My Guy is unrequited, but it's also fading and that's not what this post is about.

It's about a certain boy we shall call Tom.

I saw Tom for the first time exactly one year ago at prom. He ran past me and a friend in a blur and I noticed that he looked like Drake Bell.

A few months ago, he started FB stalking me. Not the actually creepy kind of stalking, just the kind that might be flattering if it were anyone but him.

See, when I say he looks like Drake Bell...I mean, he does. But kind of like what Drake Bell would look like if he were... Okay, I don't wanna be mean. Tom just isn't quite Drake Bell, let's leave it at that.

So, Tom starts chatting me up. I'm not interested. I pretty much don't respond. Period.

A few weeks later, he becomes so incessant that I FB chat him. He seems nice. Not really fast enough with puns and teasing to keep up with me though, so I demolish him a lot. And it's not fun when you win all the time.

Sam suggested I give him a chance.

Me: "Sam. He's like 5'5"."

Just for the record, I am 5'8" and like to wear heels.

So for me, as shallow as it might be, that's an automatic "No thanks, it wouldn't work out."

But he's persistent, which is flattering, but not always effective. In this case it's just not effective. At all.

So the other day, I was Facebook chatting Tom {because I was feeling bored and sadistic} and also started a conversation with Aaron, one of my good friends who helps me a lot with love-life issues XD He's pretty great.

It wasn't long before the conversations took turns for the hilarious. However it's possible that you had to be there, so I've decided to bring you back to my past. How? I am a freak, and since Facebook doesn't record your chats, I have to do it for myself. I copy and paste every conversation I've ever had via FB chat into a Word document. And I'm going to share these two with you.

Interactions between me and Aaron are orange, interactions between me and Tom are green. I've tried to splice things together so that the times match up :) My commentaries are in {parenthesis}

We'd been talking about my hating chemistry for a few minutes, when suddenly...
Tom • 11:22pm
Ok i have a proposition for you {Uh-oh.}

Me • 11:22pm
Um, what is it?

Tom • 11:23pm
Ok, if you make time to see me. I will telepathically give you all my chemistry knowledge

Me • 11:23pm
You first :P

Tom • 11:24pm
So wait, i gotta give you the knowledge first?

Me • 11:24pm
Yep. {Good luck with your telepathy skillz.}

Tom • 11:25pm
Fine. But ill do it as we start to hang out
on the way to see you, ill give it to you

Me • 11:25pm
And if it doesn't work? Are you gonna turn around? {Please, please, please, please, please--}

Tom • 11:27pm
:) {Damn.}
I mean, im not that bad
And im leaving in june for this summer

Me • 11:27pm
haha no you're not. {Screw grammar. It's not like he cares.}

Tom • 11:27pm
and august for the school year {Pity.}

Me • 11:27pm
where to?

Aaron • 11:27pm

Me • 11:28pm
Trying to fend off this guy who likes me.

Aaron • 11:28pm
exciting :)

Me • 11:28pm
Nerve-wracking. 'Cause he's actually a decent person.

Tom • 11:28pm
>insert name of city< :P
but its farther away {Good.}
and ill be busy

Me • 11:28pm
oooh :P {Wow, he tries so hard not to sound desperate...}

Aaron • 11:28pm
so date him
or something

Tom • 11:28pm
Id like to actually see you before then
I like have almost asked you out on a ""date"
but im homeschooled
so im akward
and i never do

Me • 11:28pm
Sort of.

Aaron • 11:28pm

Me • 11:28pm
this is awful!

Aaron • 11:28pm
This is amazing.

Me • 11:29pm
Aaron, he's like 5'2". {He's actually 5'5", but whatever helps my case...}
I'm 5'8".

Aaron • 11:29pm
that's weird.

Me • 11:29pm
if i wore heels he'd come up to like my waist.

Aaron • 11:29pm
what'd he ask you, exactly
BTW, heels are evil.

Me • 11:29pm
It's okay, i'm not really into the dating thing :)

Tom • 11:29pm
Well i wasnt asking to date you {Suuure you weren't.}
just to hang out {Riiiiight.}
See, im bad at this stuff {Well, THAT'S probably true...}

Me • 11:29pm
nah, don't worry about it.
I'm not really awkward, so even if you think you are, it doesn't bother me. {I think I may be too nice.}

Aaron • 11:31pm
how old is he?

Me • 11:31pm
I think I may be too nice.
Older than me at least.
Not sure how much. He's 17 too, but he was before me.

Aaron • 11:31pm
that would've been a decent loophole...

Me • 11:31pm

Aaron • 11:31pm
Okay, so is there anyone else you're looking to date soon?

Me • 11:31pm
I wish. But no.

Aaron • 11:31pm

Me • 11:32pm

Aaron • 11:32pm
you can say that you've decided you're not going to date for the moment.

Me • 11:32pm
Good one. *starts typing* {Okay, I'd already said it, but if I hadn't I would have then.}

Tom • 11:32pm
Haha ok
Well here
We should go on a date
that isnt a date
yet it is {And this is his idea of being witty...}

Me • 11:33pm
I'll do hanging out, that's really hanging out because it's just hanging out ;P

Me • 11:32
He says
"Well here
We should go on a date
that isnt a date
yet it is"

Aaron • 11:33pm
Tell him "That makes no sense."

Me • 11:34pm
I said "I'll do hanging out, that's really hanging out because it's just hanging out ;P"
because i'm too nice to say "NOOO"

Aarpm • 11:34pm
at the very least, only hang out in groups

Me • 11:35pm
Well! ....yeahh.
Yeah. Definitely.
I drag my friend Cassidy into everything with me anyway.

Aaron • 11:43pm
you should reassert the "NOT DATING" thing
just to be clear
that you are not to be won over

Me • 11:43pm
Mkay. I will if it comes back.
We're hating on Jersey Shore right now.


Tom • 11:52pm
So ideas
for our date
Ima call it that to annoy you

Me • 11:52pm
he's at it again

Aaron • 11:53pm
Tell him you're actually betrothed.

Me • 11:53pm

Me • 11:53pm
I'm betrothed.

Me • 11:54pm
He's being awfully quiet.

Tom • 11:56pm

Me • 11:58pm
^ him

Aaron • 11:58pm
sarcasm, or gullibility?

Me • 11:58pm
Since brith.

Tom • 11:59pm
Prince Caspian of Narnia?

Me • 11:58pm
Lolsssssssssss, I'm not sure..
Who am I betrothed to?
He suggested Prince Caspian. i'm gonna go with sarcasm.
And Peter Pevensie.

Me • 11:58pm

Tom • 11:59pm
what about me

Aaron • 12:00am
keep it up
say it's a real guy
pretend you're upset he's joking

Me • 12:01am
Okay. I just said Peter, not Pevensie so we can still salvage this.
he says "what about me? :( "

Aaron • 12:01am
say you're sorry
but it's out of your hands

Me • 12:01am
You don't believe me :O

Tom • 12:02am
Haha no
i dont

Me • 12:02am
It's out of my hands.

Me • 12:02am
he says he doesn't believe me.

Aaron • 12:03am
- _ -

Tom • 12:03am
Are you really?

Me • 12:03am

Aaron • 12:03am
....wait, really?

Me • 12:03am
"Are you really?"
oh my goshhhhhhhhhhhhhh lolsssss

Aaron • 12:04am
don't break now
keep it up

Me • 12:04am
i feel so mean lolssssssss

Aaron • 12:04am
Say you're sorry, but it just won't work out between you two

Me • 12:04am
i feel mean XD
i'll crush him!

Aaron • 12:04am
that way you're not technically lying
he needs to be crushed

Me • 12:04am
aw no lolsssssssssss

Aaron • 12:04am
better than being crushed worse later if you lead him on

Me • 12:04am
*can't breathe from laughing*
like i'm not leading him on to something now...XD

Aaron • 12:05am
you've gotta cut him off now before he gets more obsessed
well, no, you're not
okay yeah

Me • 12:05am
i don't know if i can to it.

Aaron • 12:05am
do it

Me • 12:05am

Aaron • 12:05am
do it

Me • 12:06am

It's out of my hands. It just couldn't work.

Me • 12:06am
ackk XD
ackk i did

Aaron • 12:06am

Me • 12:06am
thhis poor kid.

Aaron • 12:07am
Hey. He doesn't use grammar. He deserves NOTHING. {This is true.}

Tom • 12:07am
No really
tell me haah

Me • 12:08am
"No really
tell me haah"
If he were smart he'd search my FB friends for a Peter.
There isn't one.

Aaron • 12:09am
well, no, see, that's the thing
you've not seen each other since birth
you don't even know him, really.

Me • 12:09am
*is doing it*

Me • 12:09am
I haven't seen him since birth.

Tom • 12:09am
But you are supposed to marry him?

Me • 12:09am:

Aaron • 12:10am

Me • 12:10am
And now he's really sorry for me.
"but you are supposed to marry him?"

Aaron • 12:10am

Me • 12:11am
How am I ever going to get out of this? I mean, I can tell him now, or...later.

Aaron • 12:11am
just ask him never to bring it up, ever again.

Me • 12:11am
oh wow...that's so serious-sounding....'kay....

Aaron • 12:12am
well, hey, it's a complicated issue, and you don't like talking about it

Me • 12:12am
Let's never bring it up again. *sigh*

Tom • 12:13am
I feel like i am being trolled

Me • 12:14am
He's gone silent again..
"I feel like i am being trolled"
Okay I feel bad XD He's always talking about how girls mess with him and he believes them because he's nice...
Or something.

Aaron • 12:14am
no, it's because he's a moron

Me • 12:15am
Well yeah.
But...i think i'm just gonna completely change the subject--ooh he's typing
uh. "Why dont you get alot of guys flirting with you?"
"A lot" is two words, dude
I kind of do. I mostly just glare at them and they go away though. Except for THIS GUY.

Aaron • 12:18am

Me • 12:18am
apparently i'm pretty. *sigh*

Aaron • 12:19am
don't let it go to your head, princess.

Me 12:19am


Tom • 12:25am
I just want a happy relationship like ALL my friends

Me • 12:25am
Oh boy now he's on a spiel about wanting a happy relationship like all his other friends.

Aaron 12:26
tell him to wait
just like you're waiting on Peter.

Me • 12:27am
hahaha XD
but no.

Me • 12:32am
look, you very well might find someone at college. don't worry about it. you'll find someone!

Me • 12:32am
now i'm consoling him.

Aaron • 12:33am
oh geez
don't do that

Me • 12:33am
telling him he'll find someone at college next year. or whatever

Aaron • 12:33am
it's like giving a puppy cuddles
He'll just want more

Me • 12:33am
but he's pathetic!

Aaron • 12:33
and he'll be licking your face, and you'll be like AUGH NO WHYDIDIDOTHIS?!?

Tom • 12:33am
Too bad...
i mean
i pretty much fell in love with you
and then you said u didnt date...

Me • 12:33am

Aaron • 12:33am

Me • 12:34am
ugh finneee >_< you were righ! D:

Aaron • 12:35am
tell him he doesn't love you
or whatever

Me • 12:34am
People don't fall in love that fast I don't think.

Me • 12:35am
I did.

Aaron • 12:35am
because you're actually a robot

Me • 12:35am

Aaron • 12:35am
see if he buys that one

Tom • 12:35am
No they dont. But i was seriously attracted to you

Me • 12:35am
he changed love to "seriously attracted to"

Aaron • 12:35am

Me • 12:36am
I'm going in for teh robot.

Aaron • 12:36am

Me • 12:36am

Aaron • 12:36am
I was kidding!

Me • 12:36am

Aaand things just went downhill from there.


Monday, April 25, 2011


So sort of stole this tag from Elizabeth because it looked AWESOME. {Yeah. Awesome. I'm tired and I have a headache, so that's as good an adjective as you're gonna get.}

List ten musical artists BEFORE reading the following questions. Don't be lame and ruin it for yourself.

So okay. Ten artists.

1. Relient K
2. All-American Rejects
3. Ke$ha {hey, why not?}
4. Evanescence
5. Shinedown
6. Linkin Park
7. dc Talk
8. As I Lay Dying
9. tobyMac
10. Eminem

Mkay. Now for the questions, which I have honestly not looked at yet. I haven't even read Elizabeth's answers. I'm just THAT...awesome.

1. What was the first song you ever heard by number six?
{Linkin Park} "Papercut." I was twelve. And Linkin Park was SECULAR MUSIC OMG.

2. What is your favorite song by number eight?
{As I Lay Dying} "Forsaken" probably.

3. What kind of impact has number one had on your life?
{Relient K} Oh wow, this is the perfect question for them. Relient K has probably impacted my life more than any other music group. They have songs for every occasion. They introduced me to witty lyrics, songs about a God that seemed REAL, and Thunder Cats ;P Songs like "Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet," "Devastation and Reform" and "Be My Escape" put my feelings into words when I couldn't. Songs like "For the Moment I Feel Faint" and "Who I am Hates Who I've Been" are songs that grew with me, their meaning becoming deeper as I grew older. Their love songs seem truer, their sad songs seem deeper and their fun songs seem funner than almost any other group I know.

4. What is your favorite lyric by number five?
{Shinedown} "When you lie like the devil himself, no angel's gonna hear your cry for help."

5. How many times have you seen number four in concert?
{Evanescence} Um. Zero. *sob*

6. What is your favorite song by number seven?
{dc Talk} Right now, it's a three-way tie between "Say the Words," "Supernatural" and "Sugarcoat It." {Apparently I love "S"s. As I should XD}

7. Is there a song by number three that makes you sad?
{Ke$ha} :P

8. What is your favorite song by number nine?
{tobyMac} Okay, not counting the ones where he's with dc Talk...I love "No Ordinary Love," "All In" and "Face of the Earth."

9. How did you first discover number two?
{All-American Rejects} Oh. Hm. How DID I discover them? Well, I RE-discovered them when the Almost Alice CD came out. They sang "The Poison" and I loved that.

10. How did you first discover number three?
Ke$ha? The radio XD I haaaaaaaaated "Your Love is My Drug," so I thought I hated her. Then "Tik Tok" came out and I was like "Oh. YEAH."

11. What is your favorite song by number four?
{Evanescence} Probably "Bring Me to Life." I know, it's everyone's favorite.

12. Is there a song by number eight that makes you sad?
{As I Lay Dying} Not exactly. Pretty much no.

13. How many times have you seen number six live
{Linkin Park} Ughhh, nooooone :(

14. What is your favorite song by number one?
{Relient K} Seriously? Do not get me started. Oh wait. You did. {FAAAAVORITES are bolded.}
Be My Escape
Come Right Out and Say It
Failure to Excommunicate
Maintain Consciousness
For the Moment I Feel Faint
Life After Death and Taxes
My Girl's Ex-boyfriend
Pressing On
Up and Up
What Have You Been Doing Lately?
Which to Bury; Us or the Hatchet

15. How did you become a fan of number ten?
Honestly? *sigh* >.< A friend mentioned that he was hott in a FB status. I know. That's PATHETIC. But I had to Google him then, and he WAS hott, so I started paying special attention to him. Then I saw him on 60 Minutes and fell in love. He's so REAL. And he's actually really smart and amazing with words. He raps about life and makes sense of it. I just love him.

Awesome. I'm done. Now I tag, let's see...


I'm so tired, guys.


Sunday, April 24, 2011

(: Easter :)

Thanks for following, Shruti! :)

It's about eggs.

And candy.

Getting a new dress.

And looking fresh and springy.

It's about embracing new life.

And chicks.

Checking for the Easter bunny.

And getting sick from too much chocolate.

But what's it REALLY about?

I love eggs and candy and bunnies and dresses, but the real reason is somewhere else.

Easter is about love. It's about the biggest, deepest, strongest love there is. It's about someone who loves you more than anyone else in the world, someone who's crazy for you, someone who thinks you are to die for.


No matter what you've done, Jesus loves you.

No seriously. Listen to me.

I didn't even understand this until a couple of years ago. I used to lie awake wondering why people had trouble getting it. "Jesus loves you," okay, cool, done. It's not that hard to get your mind around, people.

Then I started having trouble with pornography and other things along that line. It got really bad. It consumed me. I was not the person I had been. My mind was poisoned, every thought came with a bitter taste. I dreamed things I never should have thought about. I felt like there was literally something inside of me, eating me alive.

I hated myself. I hated myself so much that I didn't want to exist. It's not like I wanted to die, I just thought that if I couldn't be better than this, I wasn't worth living. Horrible thoughts and feelings choked me, suffocated me. I was the worst person I knew.

How could God love me?

For the first time, I started to understand how big that was
. How could he love me? WHY would he love me? I didn't even love myself.

I'd ask him to help me time and time again, and he would. But then I'd just mess up again. I'd ask for forgiveness more times than I could count, but I'd just turn around and do the very same things again. I threw God's help in his face more than once. I'd decide he wasn't worth it, that I just wanted him out of my life, that I wanted him to leave me alone and let me enjoy doing the wrong thing.

My mind and soul felt black and destroyed, I felt disgusting. I was a bad person, I really was. How could God love me? HOW COULD HE LOVE ME? He couldn't. It was impossible. He didn't love me. He couldn't.

But for some reason that I can't even fathom, he did. He DID love me.

2000 years ago, he knew me
. He knew EXACTLY what I would do, who I would become, and all the horrible things I'd give in to. HE KNEW. He knew I couldn't help myself on my own. He knew I would need help. And despite the fact that he knew I would become the worst person I knew...

He died for me anyway.

He was whipped, beaten, and mocked until he was unrecognizable as a person. He took blow for blow the most painful execution known to man. They didn't even have a word for that kind of pain. You know the word "excruciating"? "Ex," meaning "out of," "cruxio," meaning "cross." They had to invent that word to describe that kind of torment.

Jesus did that for ME. He loved me with a fierce, protective, gentle love. He loved me so much he would have done that if it had been only me. But it wasn't only me. He died for you too. He died for everyone, every single person.

No matter what we've done, it's never too much. We can never go too far, we can never be "too bad." Jesus knew what he was doing. He knew all the shit would do, he knew all the thoughts we would think. He knew that, and he died for it.

The penalty for our screw-ups is death, but Jesus loved us too much for that. He died instead. Instead of letting us take the unbearable burden of eternal death, he died for us so that when we die, it can be just the beginning.

That's what Easter means to me. It means that no matter what I do, or who I am, Jesus will always take me back. He loves me that much. I finally "get it," and yet I get the feeling that I'm only seeing the tip of the iceberg.


Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Ten Commandments

Today is the day before Easter. Do you know what that means?


When I was little, the family would turn on this 1956 movie every night before Easter. It started at 7pm and went off at midnight, so I was never allowed to see the whole thing. I usually had to go to bed around 9 o'clock, but here's the thing: if you sat on the stairs just right, you could see the reflection of the TV in a picture on the wall. So my little sister Sarah and I would just go halfway down the stairs, pop a squat and watch until we couldn't keep our eyes open.

Which would be around 10 o'clock, so I hadn't actually seen the whole movie until a few years ago.

There were a few years, like between 11 and 14, that I didn't care enough to watch "The Ten Commandments" even though I could have. Two years ago when I was 15, I pushed everything aside for that night and stayed up through the whole thing. BIG DEAL :D

The last year I was lame or something and, like, didn't watch it. What a loser.

This year, I've been looking forward to the movie since about January. I'm not kidding. Every once in a while during the day, I'll get a craving for the movie. It just hits me--*BAM* "Oh mannnn, I can't wait until 'The Ten Commandments' comes on!!!"

I think it's more the principle of the thing than the actual movie. But the actual movie is pretty awesome too.

{Secretly I think 50% of the reason I love it is because Yul Brynner is Rameses/Pharaoh ;)

And about 45% is because of Joshua, who pulls off "Hebrew slave" pretty dang well.

So, while there are also a lot of good spiritual reasons to watch the movie {even though it's not really accurate, so that bothers me}, you can also watch it for Yul Brynner and John Derek.

And Charlton Heston is in it too. Whatever.



Friday, April 22, 2011

HG Time!

"What," you might ask, "is HG?" Well I am here to tell you that HG is my abbreviation for "Hott Guy." If you are ever around me for long periods of time in public, you may hear me say this once or twice.

{"Dude. HG, 1o o'clock."}

So hopefully you are now excited, as you well should be. I am about to present you with one of my personal all-time favorite acting individuals:

Heeeeath Leeeeedgerrrrrrr!

{Or Heath Ledger. Whichever pronunciation you prefer.}

In the very first legit post on Pandora, I posted about Hott Guys. Heath Ledger was #3 on my list, but now I'm wondering what I was thinking, you know? But I think I was going by overall hotness, not just plain sexiness. And there is a difference, because if you look at that first post, you'll notice I have a Sexy Scale reading in addition to just putting the guys in order.

{I have being shallow down to a very exact science.}

{Ohhhhh I disgust myself sometimes.}

But Heath Ledger, y'all. Heath Ledger.

You can find him in "The Patriot," playing a {sexy} American teenager during the Revolutionary War. He fights and protects his girl and seeks revenge and remains honorable the whole dang movie. <333

He's also in "A Knight's Tale," a movie that I kind of LOOOOOVE. Like, I really love it. He's incredible in it, the story is a classic winner, and his character absolutely drips with the kind of honor you {are supposed to} find in the south. {Where I live, if that wasn't obvious from the "y'all" I used earlier.}

He's also in "10 Things I Hate About You," which I need to see. Although I'm not a huge fan of him with long, dark, curly hair... >.>

Then he's the Joker in "The Dark Knight." He did an incredible job of the role, but it's not like he was gonna be that attractive as a psychopathic clown.

Then you have "Brokeback Mountain"...

I don't wanna talk about it.

So yeah. As a person, Heath Ledger isn't particularly deep or awesome and that's really disappointing. He died when he was only 29, and from drug overdose, too. He also has two illegitimate children. So personally, I don't like the guy as much as I used to, and that's kind of depressing.

However does great job of acting and looking the way he does, so you gotta give him some credit XD

More Pictures Because I Can't Bear to End on the Joker:


Thursday, April 21, 2011

Books That Everyone Should Read

I saw this on Facebook. Hopefully we've already established the fact that I'm a total bibliophile, so this particular list grabbed my attention. It's called {as you hopefully gathered from the title} "Books That Everyone Should Read."

So yeah.

I was pretty dang pleased to discover I had read several of them, more than a lot of other kids my age. So that was a good excuse to pat myself on the back and watch my head inflate a few more inches.

Maybe you can show me up. I could use some humility today. I'm in a Mood.

Books That Everyone Should Read {not in any particular order}:
{The ones I've read are in bold.}

1. Narnia
2. Ender’s Game
3. Heart of Darkness
4. 1984
5. To Kill A Mocking Bird
6. Watership Down
7. All Quieto n the Western Front
8. Harry Potter
9. Fahrenheit 451
10. Of Mice and Men
11. Animal Farm
12. The Three Musketeers
13. Les Miserables
14. Lord of the Rings
15. A Clockwork Orange
16. Lord of the Flies
17. The Grapes of Wrath
18. Twilight
19. Don Quixote
20. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
21. Wuthering Heights
22. A Farwell to Arms
23. Life of Pi
24. The Invisible Man
25. Brave New World
26. Frankenstein
27. Dune
28. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
29. Siddhartha
30. The Hobbit
31. Crime and Punishment
32. Dracula
33. The Little Prince
34. The Scarlet Letter
35. One Flew Over the Cukoo’s Nest
36. Gone with the Wind
37. Little Women
38. The Bell Jar
39. The Jungle
40. The Handmaid’s Tale
41. The DaVinci Code
42. Kite Runner
43. The Wind in the Willows
44. Slaughterhouse-Five
45. A Tale of Two Cities
46. The Color Purple
47. Pictures of Dorian Gray
48. Jane Eyre
49. The Old Man and the Sea
50. East of Eden

I have so much more to read. It's crazy. How are there so many books out there? So many stories, thoughts, ideas? People are such incredible beings, wouldn't you agree?


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Prima Verbum

If I remember my Latin correctly, that SHOULD mean "first word." I was thinking about this today as I was writing my story. I wanted to know what my character's first word was, but I didn't. {She hasn't told me yet either, so I'm still in the dark on that one.}

See, like Names, I feel like First Words might be really important. They might not be, I mean, when you're 18 months old your subconscious isn't exactly teeming with foreshadowing. But still. First Words might mean something. I'm pretty sure mine did.

My first word was "book," and I think that's one of the coolest things about me.

To have a first word that so represents who I am is very cool to me. I love to read and I'm a writer, so what better first word for me than "book"?

My sister's first word was "more" because she needed a way to ask for more food. It's funny because she's a food person to this day. She's not fat AT ALL, I swear, but she loves food. Whenever we have good dessert, she's super excited. Whenever we finish lunch, she wants to know what's for dinner.

So I'm Book and she's More. What are you? Do you know your first word? If you don't, it might be a fun fact to ask your parents. Maybe you've changed a lot from your toddler self, or maybe, like me, your first word isn't so far off from who you are today.


Tuesday, April 19, 2011

April 8-15

The quest to go a whole month without straightening my hair continues...

April 8

April 9

April 10

April 11

April 12

April 13 {Yeah, I wore the same outfit as two days earlier. Sue me.}

April 14

Monday, April 18, 2011


Your heart pounds. Rolls of dread crash over your body. Terror digs into your stomach and fingers of fear claw at your mind. The world is distorted; you can't see clearly, you can't move quickly. Coldness floods your veins as you give a silent scream and wonder if you can take much more.

Then you wake up.


We all have them, we all hate them.

Except for wait...I like them? >.> I like them. I do. Perversely enough, I love nightmares.

When I was little I used to hate them, of course. I'd have the same one every night: I'm swinging on a telephone wire and all the sudden it breaks and I fall

HIT the bed.

And wake up.

I hated that dream. I also specifically remember one nightmare where "bad guys" raided my house and came into my room. They didn't notice me but and they got into an argument with each other and one of the guys broke my little table. They were angry and scary and that little table was important to me. I hated that dream too.

But somewhere along the line, I stopped hating nightmares.

The first time I remember realizing that was after my Lord-of-the-Rings-Eragon nightmare. A whole army of 1000 Uruk-hai were in my backyard with only my family to fight them off. My mom proposed we just give them my little sister as a bribe (which she would never do IRL, just by the way). That terrified the living daylights out of me. I loved my sister, and for my mom to say something so horrible and out-of-character was disturbing. I persuaded everyone we could fight off the Uruk-hai ourselves. So we grabbed swords and got to it.

Uruk-hai are scary, btw. They're huge and inhumanly strong and have no feelings whatsoever. They will kill you and laugh as you suffer. But, somehow or another, we managed to kill or chase off all 1000 Uruks. {Shoulda known it was a dream right there.}

Or so we thought.

Just as we were congratulating each other and dancing around in victory (wouldn't you?), a massive Uruk-hai snuck up behind me. I blocked his blow with my own sword and we started dueling. Of course, he was way stronger than me and I ended up on the ground, rolling left and right to avoid his blows (you know, like you see in movies XD). I was doing pretty damn well until I rolled the wrong direction and he sliced open my back from my shoulder to my hip.

Kinda painful. A little bit.

Then the dream just gets really stupid and weird and this guy from my class shows up and tries to heal my back.

But anyway, I woke up from that dream scared stiff...but really excited and inspired for some reason. It was then that I decided I liked nightmares.

Just think about it. You get to have crazy adventures and learn how you hold up in terrifying situations. You can understand your character and discover things you didn't know about yourself. You can be in a battle, you can fall off a cliff, you can witness a murder, you can be robbed, you can get captured in a war.

And then you get to wake up, completely unscathed. You have amazing memories without all the long-lasting effects of pain and trauma. Like being in a horror movie and knowing you come out alive. Daring adventure with guaranteed safety. Character tests with no lasting embarrassment. It's like the best of both worlds.

And, really, who wouldn't want that?


Sunday, April 17, 2011


So, a few days ago I was sitting on the couch in a bikini because I had just come in from tanning. I was watching Bonanza and drinking orange juice and considering painting my nails. All the sudden, this commercial came on:

Like, wow. Are you as disturbed about this as I am? "Hershey Drops." *narrows eyes* Oh, you mean kinda like


What is the world coming to when someone tries to replace the beautiful colored candy that melts in your mouth but not in your hand? "Hershey Drops"? It's an abomination. It's a barely concealed candy plagiarism.

What are your thoughts?


Thursday, April 14, 2011

In Which I Use the Word "So" Four Times


So, I've been scheduling posts. Like, I'll get about fifty good ideas in one day and write posts on all of them. Then I'll just schedule them so that I have a post automatically posted every day. But something happened. It's called


So I stopped A) having good ideas and B) time to type them out.

So this is me posting. And saying that my brain is a teensie bit fried at the moment, so I may not be cranking anything out for a couple of days.



Wednesday, April 13, 2011

My Guy

Thanks for following, Elizabeth :)

More poetry from yours truly. This was written a while back. It has absolutely nothing to do with "My Guy," despite the misleading title.

My Guy

I want a guy
Who plays the guitar.
And older guy maybe?
Who owns his own car?
A guy who loves learning
And likes a good book.
Who appreciates music
And won’t make me cook.

He’ll know words are important,
Both sweet ones and clever.
He’ll know dating is fun
And marriage is forever.
He must make me laugh
And really love God.
And love me in spite
of the fact that I’m odd.

My guy will surprise me
Just when he should.
He’ll know the big difference
Between lame and good.
He has to be brave
In the practical sense
And know how to cheer me up
When I’m all tense.

He needs to like talking;
I want to converse.
And know when to stop me
So I don’t make things worse.
Loving sports isn’t crucial
But liking them is.
He can like my chick-flicks
But better not be his.

He won’t wear pink
Or have hair too long.
And he must understand
When I burst out in song.
If my guy could sing
I think it’d be great.
He better love arguing
And staying up late.

Kids are for sure;
He has to know that.
And since I’m allergic,
We can’t have a cat.
A responsible guy
He has to be too.
You know, keeping a job
And fixing things too.

I know I sound picky;
I am—and that’s good.
I’ll know when I’ve found
The best match that I could.
My ideas might change;
I have growing to do.
And I have to make sure
It’s what God wants too.

God loves me a lot
He’s become a great friend.
See, the guy that He wants
Gets my vote in the end.
God has a plan.
When my guy comes, He’ll shout,
“Hey, Stephanie! That’s him!
I’ve had him all picked out.”


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Prom Recap

Thanks for following, the eternal list XD

So. The moment you've all forgotten about been waiting for...


To be honest, I have, like, very few. Because my sister didn't take many and the pictures my dad took are going to rot on his camera forever. But here's what I've got:

Stuffing our faces because we're totally NOT going to Olive Garden in less than two hours.

Curls and dress and...such.
Kirsten, Emma, Yours Truly and Cassidy (Tori ended up not coming over to get ready).

So, since the pictures kind of don't do much here, I'll give you a quick rundown of prom night.

***WARNING*** This prom was not especially great, so please don't get too excited about this. I'm going to burst your Stephanie-Had-An-Amazing-Night bubble. S0z.

This weekend was not only prom, but the weekend a bunch of my dad's family came to visit. When my friends arrived (thirty-five minutes late XD), they were bombarded with thirteen eccentric relatives from my loveably opinionated half-aunt to my 6'3" 16-year-old cousin.

{I may need to do an entire post on my family. That would really be something.}

I rescued my friends from the large mob of relatives and we went downstairs to get ready. In order for us to leave at 5:45, Emma suggested we come with our makeup done so she would just have to do our hair and we could get out the door. So I did.

I was alone.

I think we underestimated the time it takes to curl hair.

{And the amount of hairspray it takes to make it STAAAAAAY.}

At 5:15, my hair was almost finished. I'd told Emma the idea I was going for {loose curls half up}, but it was going...interestingly. A lot of it looked really good, but the curl came out of the top within a few minutes, leaving me looking kind of bedraggled. We had to work with it for a while.

After my hair was done, I put on my dress, which somehow didn't ruin the curls. Emma started on Kirsten's hair: tight ringlets. When she was done at about 6:10 (twenty minutes after the scheduled departure time), she looked kind of like Shirley Temple. I was glad I had specified "loose curls" for myself, although it didn't look bad on Kirsten.

After we were all ready, we once again braved the hoard of cooing relatives and stood for pictures. Everyone was really sweet and told us we looked beautiful.

The weather was supposed to be gorgeous yesterday, sunny and in the upper 70s, buuut it was storming to beat the band and in the 60s. Go figure. So the dads rushed outside and drove Kirsten's car into the garage for us so we wouldn't show up to the prom looking like drowned cats.

By this time it's about 6:30. We were supposed to be at the restaurant by 6. Google Maps told us it would take 37 minutes to get there.

*sheepish laugh*

Poor Tori and Brandon (her boyfriend), trying to hold a table for us. I felt pretty bad honestly, but there wasn't a lot we could do besides call and apologize.

So, we got in the car, which was actually Kirsten's dad's van {we're so cool} and drove off into the gushing rain. I took about ten minutes to make a playlist of good music on Kirsten's iPod and we sped down the highway {at a safe and responsible speed, of course >.>}.

After taking a brief detour in which we knew exactly where we were but not where we were going, we got to Olive Garden at 7:15. Guess who was at the table across from us?

My Guy. {Who needs a BlogName. I am up for suggestions on that.}

Awesome {<--sarcasm}. Why sarcasm? Because he's not in class, which means he will be rude and piss me off. He was and did. Although it may have had something to do with Emma saying "What is he doing here??" rather loudly. After that we had no contact whatsoever with him the entire night. More on that later.

While waiting for our food to arrive, we girls made a bathroom run. {I don't know why, we just did. I don't think anyone actually had to go.} We waltzed into the bathroom and I glanced at myself in the mirror.

Total. Curl. Failure.

My hair looked pretty much awful. The curl was completely gone on one side, giving me the look of someone who tried really hard but just couldn't pull off "pretty." One thing I hate: looking bad. Anther thing I hate: looking like I tried hard. Yet another thing I hate: looking like I tried hard--and failed.

So that bothered me. But I managed to cowgirl up and get over it XD

When we got back to the table, our food was there, yippee! Five Cheese Ziti is soooo good by the way, although I wouldn't recommend eating a massive amount of it in a prom dress. I was afraid to move.

We finished eating (after having multiple awkward moments with various waiters including hardcore sarcasm and Justin Bieber), and headed over to the prom. Of course by that time (on account of some slooooooow service at Olive Garden), it was 8:45 -__-

I was pumped when we got there. Last year I was nervous and awkward and didn't want to look stupid. This year? I DIDN'T GET A DAMN :D WOOOOOOT! All I wanted to do was get out on the dance floor in the very middle and daaaaance. So we did.

For like five seconds. Then it hit us: You cannot dance to this music.

I don't remember what song it was, but it was not a winner. So we resigned ourselves to surveying the refreshments table during the rest of the song.

This is when we saw My Guy, across the room with a couple of girls. He looked miserable. We already knew he didn't even want to be there; his parents had made him come. Still, he could at least try to have a little fun.

I wanted to go talk to him. Everyone else was highly against it, "He'll just ignore us." "He'll be rude." "He'll make us feel stupid." "Look, all his friends are around." I pretty much didn't care. 1) I wanted to talk to him and 2) So he's a douche, why should that automatically transform us into bitches?

But by the time I was even making a move to go over, he and his girl friends were hightailing it out the door onto the porch.

So scratch the friendly idea.

We finished taking pictures and decided to try dancing again.

Another slow song. Couples paired off around us, slow dancing. Fuuuuun.

So we tried to dance, but it wasn't much of a hit with that one. We waited.

And waited.

And kind of waited the entire night.

"Did we miss the good songs?" we asked each other. "Did they all play before we got here?" We asked around. The answer was no. No, we had not missed the good songs; there weren't any.

I think they played about four songs that you could dance to the entire time: Dynamite, Shawty's Like a Melody, Fireworks, and something else... Anyway, a lot of the songs they played were fine songs, but not DANCING songs, which is kind of the point of prom. Basically, I was hugely let down by that.

At about 10 {prom ended at 11}, I started looking around again for My Guy--just subtly, you know, checking heads, scanning the room. He wasn't anywhere to be seen.

And he wasn't for the entire night. I even glanced around for him when we went outside. He and his friends had actually ditched prom. Judging by Facebook statuses I saw the next day (that's not stalkerish at all), he was riding around questionable parts of town doing God knows what until the wee hours of the morning. He also posted a status saying that the prom was basically a joke.

I kind of agree with that statement, but he had no grounds to say it on. I mean, if he'd actually STAYED I might've been like "Haha." But he didn't. He practically walked through one door and straight out the other. Ugh. What a freaking loser.

Sooo anyway. The ride home was kind of dull because Kirsten's dad drove, and he couldn't have the radio on and still here Kirsten's directions. So it was kind of quiet and tiring. But it was the highlight of the night aside from Olive Garden and about 37 minutes of prom.

We got home, tip-toed around gathering stuff, my friends left, I ate some of my five cheese ziti that was leftover from Olive Garden, brushed out my failed curls, changed into PJs, brushed my teeth {I think} and slammed into bed.

Interesting night XD


Monday, April 11, 2011

5 Days of the April Project

Join with my on my quest to go the entire month of April without straightening my hair.

April 2
Not bad, not bad at all.

April 3
Kinda bad, kinda bad a little bit.

April 4
It was 80. And I wanted to tan. Without a hair tan-line.

April 5
I am aware that I look like I'm six.
I had a massive APUSH paper that was kicking my buttt.
I'm lucky to have hair left at all.
April 6
I know the point of this is my hair, but I wish you could see my whole outfit here.
'Cause I kind of loved it.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Order of Events

I think about blogging in the shower a lot.

{That's not weird, is it.}

So the other day I was thinking about blogging in the shower, and I was like, "Hey, why don't I blog about taking a shower."

{That's not weird either. At all. In the slightest.}

I'm a routine person. I like structure and predictability. {This is just everyday life, mind you, I love risk and surprises too. At least safe, predictable ones. [Just kidding.] Ack, I'm in another Mood.}

So, whether I did it on purpose or not, I have a very strict Shower Routine.

I take showers at night, usually around 8:30, unless it's a Wednesday and then I'm at dance. So then it's around 9:37.

Preparation: Grab pajamas, underwear, iHome, and iPod, unless I'm in a radio mood. Then nix the iPod.

Realize I forgot socks.

Go get socks.

Turn on the water.

Examine the shower area for spiders and other bugs.

If I'm Listing to the Radio: Choose a station.

If I'm Listening to my iPod: Agonize over what songs I feel like listening to. Can I use an existing playlist? New Playlist 2 looks good, but I hate that one stupid song. Why is it even on there? Should I need to create an On the Go? That might take a while. The water is running. What about Shuffle? No, too many chances of running into the classical music I had to study in 10th grade.


Once I've gotten the music figured out...

Brush out my hair so it's not tangled when I try to wash it. It's getting long again.

Think about whether or not I should cut it. I like long hair, but too long and it looks bad. How long is too long? {<-- really bad unintended innuendo.}

Undress. {I'm so provocative. Haha. Not really.}

Pull the little knob that transfers the water from the spigot to the shower head.

Get in the shower.

Stand under the water like I have no regard for the utilities bill.

Wash my face and think about how awful it'll be if I break out because I don't want to look like a pepperoni pizza for Easter, thanks.

Wash my body and tell myself I have to remember to get more bodywash because it's almost gone.

Forget completely about the bodywash.

Gripe about the song that's playing and wonder what I was thinking in selecting it.

Squeeze out shampoo into my hand. The bottle says a quarter size. I'm pretty sure no one does that. I usually go with large-Gatorade-bottle-cap-size.



Try not to worry that I'll go bald because a disturbing number of hairs just kind of fall out.

Condition. First I put conditioner in the top part of my hair, the roots and stuff. Then I do the middle and tips. Because I'm afraid my hair will get ugly and fried and no one will love me. >sadface<

***CHANGE IN ORDER.*** I used to rinse the conditioner out right here, but my friend Emma said she shaves her legs while the conditioner stays in. It's supposed to make your hair healthier.


So I was like "We'll see about that" and tried it. Aaaand my hair got softer. Or maybe it was just the power of suggestion. Whatever. Either way, I now shave next instead of rinsing right away. So...

Shave my legs, avoiding all the weird scratches I don't know how I got, paying special attention to the ankle area because it annoys me when I miss like four hairs there.

Rinse the razor.

Rinse the conditioner out.

Turn off the water.

Wring out my hair.

Grab a towel and dry off in the shower.

Get out of the shower.

Turn down the music because it's freaking LOUD now that I don't have the water running in my ears.

Put my hair up in my designated Hair Towel.

Get dressed.

Hang up my towel.

Remove remaining makeup stains that the shower didn't get rid of with a makeup cloth.

Hang up my hair towel.

Put in leave-in conditioner.

Sometimes I part and comb my hair, sometimes I don't. It depends on how it's starting to look. My hair has a mind of its own.

Put on face moisturizer.

Pick up the socks that I never actually put on, grab my dirty clothes, turn off my iHome, unplug my iHome, pick up my iHome and carry everything out and back downstairs where it belongs.

I'm a freak and I realize that, but surely I'm not the absolute ONLY one with a shower routine.

Am I?


Saturday, April 9, 2011

{Twenty-Eleven Prom}

When you read this, I'll be getting ready for prom. Since I obviously can't post while I'm trying to make myself look presentable, I have this post all scheduled for you. I'm so lame :D

The Hair
It should come out something like this. We shall see. Emma, I am in your hands.

The Eyes
Teal eyeliner over black, silver eyeshadow and black mascara.

The Nails
This is the only picture I have of my nails looking the way they look today. Can you even see it? They're silver with teal tips. Try to ignore my face.

The Dress
Made ya look.

The Shoes
{That's me and my Official Best Friend in the picture. And there's a glass white tiger.}

The Friends
"The Wild One"
"The Mace"
Element: Fire

"The Sweet One"
"The Bow" (as in arrows, not ribbon)
Element: Air

"The Mature One"
"The Shield"
Element: Earth

"The Blonde"
{Aaand she's not in the class where we make up our additional titles.}

"The Clever One"
"The Dagger"
Element: Water

Prom 2011 here I come.