Saturday, May 3, 2014

Night at the Library

Texting With Gerard While at the Library...

Me:  "Wanna do dinner at six?"
Gerard:  "Yeah that works"
Me: "There's some freshman asshole loudly running his mouth in the library while sitting next to the sign that says 'This floor is reserved for silent study.'"
Gerard: ":/ Want me to come kick his ass? Or change the sign to 'This floor is reserved for Stephanie Bailey'?"
Me: "XD His girlfriend just left and she was apparently the one he was talking to. But yes, the second option, with an added note that says 'and other guests she deems worthy of using this floor.'"
Gerard: "Go into the sign-making business and do it yourself."
Me: "I'll make expensive-but-bullshit signs and when people are like, 'Wait, couldn't I do this for myself?' I'll be like 'Shhhh...'"
Gerard:  "That's the thing, they COULD do it themselves, but they're too lazy."
Me: "That describes pretty much every service we Americans subscribe to."
Gerard: "Be sure to add 'Made in America' to all your signs."
Me: "Of course. So, the library closes at 5:30, but what does the staff do about it? Do they come around all the floors and make everyone leave?"
Gerard: "I don't know. You can stay and find out. It could be like Night at the Museum. Except in a library."
Gerard: "What if they were man-eaters?"
Me: "I can't imagine that ALL the books would be man-eaters any more than all humans are murderers. Or even meat-eaters. The books would probably have little factions of Good and Evil."
Gerard: "Like Transformers."
Me: "Nerd."


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