Tuesday, November 22, 2011


Is love an intellectual or emotional thing?

The other day I was sitting in class, thinking about the guy across from me.

Before this school year, I didn't know he existed, but he had started to grow on me and so--naturally--I started analyzing him.

He was giving a presentation, which worked out well. You're SUPPOSED to stare intently at people when they're giving a presentation, so it was a lot less weird than it might have been.

First I considered his looks, since that was something I wouldn't be able to do when we was just sitting in class {without being creepy}. My initial reaction was that he was NOT good-looking. He has an usual haircut, crooked teeth and some acne issues. But I had started to see past that and was beginning to think that he had potential in the looks department.

Then I considered his personality. I like his personality a lot. He's quirky in the same ways I am,; we share opinions on a broad variety of topics, like books and perfect words and the guy who writes our theology guide {hate him}.

But then he also sees some things very differently than I do. We were talking in class one day about what it would be like if we didn't have relationships with God. I said I thought it would feel like a part of our minds were missing. Her said he thought it would feel more like a part of our hearts were missing.

Which was weird. I don't usually go there with my thoughts. I dunno. It was just interesting.

But, believe it or not, this post isn't supposed to be about this guy at all. It's about about ME, mwahahaha >:D It's about how I deal with liking/loving people.

As I sat there in class, I mentally tallied up the guy's looks, personality, and compatibility with myself. Then I gave myself a nod and put him on my list of Potentials.

Then later at the library, someone dropped some books. They were behind the shelves, so I couldn't see them. A moment later the person came out. It was a guy my age, the attractive guy my age that works at the library. I'd kind of forgotten he worked there at all, but when I saw him my brain went into calculation mode again.

Good-looking. Taller than I am. Works at a library, so he has to like books. Also means he has a job. Or he volunteers, which could be cool or lame, just depending. Hm.

He made it onto the Potential list too.

But then on the way home, the whole day resonated weirdly in my mind. It hit me like a jellyfish in the face:

Is THAT how I deal with the concept of romantic relationships? I size people up mentally, calculating and analyzing, before they make it onto a list where I could potentially select them because they had "passed the test"?

It struck me as sort of creepy to be honest. I mean, at this point I have not given any thought to how I FEEL about either of the two guys who just made my list. It was all intellectual, no emotion involved. Is that how it's supposed to be? Do other people just go around making rational decisions about something that should be exciting and...I dunno, touch-feely?

It's late and I know that isn't a very good conclusion, but I'm too tired to write anything else at the moment XD Interesting thought, though, isn't it? Is love an emotional or intellectual thing? I'm pretty sure I'll be continuing this later when I can think straight.



  1. Doesn't everyone have a list of some sort? Guys do, though it tends at times to be very shallow and I'm sure you can guess what might make it to the list.

    On the other hand, having specific things you are looking for is important. If the only criteria is "am I physically attracted to you?" then people can start a physical relationship but it likely won't go anywhere meaningful. If they have criteria such as what you talked about: personality, opinions, relationship with God, and you're physically attracted to them then a meaningful relationship can come of that.

    You were unfeeling in how you analyzed them, but to me that just means you didn't find anyone that really hit you. The overwhelming feeling will come, and that's when you have to pull back and really look at the person.

  2. i think that love is both. It is definitely a feeling and you should feel something more for someone than 'oh, he's got great hair' you know? But then you can't forget about how after time goes on and you're with that person in the thick of the throes of life and you even though the way his hair falls against his face isn't particularly appealing to you right in that moment, you have to remember that you picked him and you're going to choose to love him forever. So i think yes, love is both. emotional and intellectual.

  3. Everybody has things that attract them to someone. Nothing wrong with that. At least you are in touch with yourself to know why you are attracted to different people.

  4. All true stuff, y'all :) Thanks for talking about this with me!! It's really awesome of you.