Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Just Looking

His hands found her waist and pulled just enough to make her step forward. She tilted her head to the right and looked at his eyes. She stopped breathing.

It caught her by surprise every time.Usually , she just liked his face. It made her smile. It made her feel safe and excited. It was a good-looking face. But sometimes, she would glance at it and see something more. Like a film had been peeled off, revealing all the bright intensity that had been blurred.

In those moments, the message in his teal eyes captivated and mesmerized her. His eyes halted time. His face looked so warm, and his eyes so bright and engaged that she forgot to keep living life. She just fell into their depth of color, wondering how a face could possibly look so alive and so perfect. Like all the warmth in the world had been concentrated inside a single person. All the heat and love and breath-taking him-ness shined out his eyes with a piercing, vibrant clarity that demanded full attention.  She couldn't breathe. She just looked, awed by the fullness of what she saw.

“What?” he asked, shying away from her stare. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No reason,” she told him, trying to pull herself back together. “I’m just looking at your face."
 I can't decide how I feel about this. I had a really hard time getting it right, and I still don't think it's there. It's too cheesy and not solid enough. I'll have to keep trying.


1 comment:

  1. First of all, I admire you for posting fiction here! I'm too nervous to post anything I write in terms of fiction on my blog.

    Secondly, I thought this was great. It wasn't cheesy. I especially liked the part about the film being peeled off.

    Keep writing, soon it won't be that hard to get it right. Good job!