Wednesday, November 13, 2013

When Stephanie Proofreads

Sure, I'll proofread your paper! I'm an English nerd; I kinda like this stuff C:

Mmmmmkay. You just used every form of there/they're/their in the same paragraph. None of them are correct. Not one time.

Then =/= Than. "Mr. Darcy was more proud then Elizabeth." I highly doubt Mr. Darcy was initially arrogant before morphing into Elizabeth.


THERE ARE TWELVE INSTANCES OF "THEY/THEM" IN THIS SENTENCE AND THREE POSSIBLE SUBJECTS. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO READ A SENTENCE WITH THIS QUANTITY OF DANGLING MODIFIERS?

 
 Okay yeah. I've read that sentence five times and I still don't know what you're saying. *deep breath* Read number six...

Oh god. You said "heroin." Heh. You just called Elizabeth Bennett a narcotic analgesic.


Awww yis. Subject-verb agreement. That's my girl.

Every time you use an apostrophe to pluralize, a kitten dies.

 
 Okay, okay. I can do this. I do actually like this. And I actually like this person. I can do this.

 I changed my mind. You misused "literally." I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

~Stephanie

3 comments:

  1. oh my gosh this cracks me up. i feel the same way proof reading papers other people wrote. it's like they don't even know English sometimes.

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  2. What you see here is the result of our educational system's "no fail" policy.

    And very funny!!!

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  3. Bahahaha oh my gosh.

    Ok, I know I'm really not that great at English... but I'm not THAT bad....

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