Sunday, November 18, 2012

Dear People...

It's a letter fill-out! I love letters. But normally I don't send them. So this'll be different.

Dear person I dislike,
I've already warned you about hugging me. I think it's now fair and appropriate for me to claw your arms off next time you try to.

Dear person I like,
...huh. I know there are people here I like...

Dear ex-boyfriend/girlfriend,
Depending on how you interpret things, either I love you or you don't exist.

Dear bestfriend,
I miss youuuuuuuu. Ermagerd. I cannot wait for Christmas break.

Dear Santa,
Thanks for granting one of my three Christmas wishes last year. That's actually a lot better than I expected.

Dear Mom,
I am becoming you. How very unexpected.

Dear Dad,
You and your iPhone are pretty adorable.

Dear Future Me,
Respect me, don't forget me, but make decisions that make sense to YOU. You're the one who's going to have to deal with the consequences, not me. If you make decisions based on my opinion, no one wins. I don't win, because I don't exist anymore, and you don't win because you went against what you wanted. Be respectful, but be real.

Dear past me,
You're pretty weird. You've made some pretty bad calls. However, I do like some of your writing. Maybe hold a workshop for Now Me?

Dear person I’m jealous of,
It's great that you never do homework, but we both know you're going to bomb finals. And I'm a little bit glad.

Dear person I had a crush on,
I promise I won't tell anyone your real name is Bruce Wayne. Oops.

Dear boyfriend/girlfriend,
Hi, Sam. I've never met you before.


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