4/6/13
{PC = Sam}
PC and I were in an
apartment. It might have been at the beach. I think we were the only ones there.
I think we had an
argument or something, because I sort of stormed out. He followed me, asking
what I wanted to do, kind of to pacify me.
“I want Krispy Kreme,”
I said. My hair was in a side ponytail, like I wear it to dance at Campbell. I don’t
know why I know that.
“Okay, we can do that,”
he said.
So we started walking. We
were in a very dark, dirty, industrialized part of town.
Sam started to walk a
different direction from me.
“No,” I said. “It’s
this way. I’m sure.”
“I mean, I think this
is the better way,” he said.
“Like, I don’t,” I said
unreservedly. “I know where Battleground is. It’s right there. The Krispy Kreme
is like RIGHT THERE.” I pointed. We couldn’t see it, because of the tall, dark
buildings, but I was sure it was just on the other side of them.
“I mean, maybe you can
go that way, but—”
“I am.” And I started
walking. Sam didn’t say anything else. He followed me, although he still
thought his way was more direct.
When we reached Battleground
and looked to the left, where I thought the Krispy Kreme would be, we did see
the Krispy Kreme. However, it was a lot farther down the road than I’d thought.
In all actuality, Sam’s way would have been about as close. However, he was
also surprised. His route would not have put us nearly as close to Krispy Kreme as he'd thought either.
Neither of our routes
had been as accurate as we’d both been certain they were. I think we both
admitted that.
When
we got to Krispy Kreme, I got a box of a dozen doughnuts, but I wanted to mix
and match the contents. I was getting doughnuts for my whole family, and
probably, like, Cassidy too, so I had to get something for everyone. It was
stressful. I didn’t know what the best combination was.
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I think this dream
might really mean something. Maybe I’m not 100% right in thinking that Sam and
I ARE NOT the right ones for each other; and maybe Sam’s not 100% right in
thinking that he and I ARE DEFINITELY the right ones for each other. Maybe God
doesn’t engineer life so that we have to choose the one right option out of a
million close-but-no-cigar options. Maybe he can work with several options and
he actually lets us pick from a small selection of ones that he’s approved.
Krispy Kreme symbolizes
the ultimate “right” decision and/or happiness. Maybe both our paths will lead
us there, we just have to decide which one we want to choose.
{Although, neither of
our paths were actually the best. Hm. What does THAT mean? Where’s the middle
option? Through those dark, scary buildings? There wasn’t even a ROAD there. Hm.}
Do I want to be with
him? I have to decide. And maybe either way I decide can lead to a good future.
But I feel like I’m not
just choosing for myself. My trip to Krispy Kreme and how I get there are my
choices, kind of, but I’m bringing doughnuts back for everyone. I have to get the
right ones for the people close to me.
It’s stressful. And I don’t
know what they want me to do.
He could be someone that you could have a fine marriage with.. Or he could be someone that you have a great marriage with. All I'm saying.. Is that you need to find out what's best for you. Don't settle. Please.. Please don't settle. You'll spend your life wondering "what if" if you settle instead of shooting for the best.
ReplyDeleteText me if you need to talk, or even just someone to listen. I'm here for you <3.
((internet hug))
ReplyDeletetry to breathe, and pray about it a lot. but don't forget to listen after you get done praying. And whatever road you choose, God will make sure that it works for His good.
Alana: Maybe :) As pretentious and "goody-goody" as it might sound, I'm only interested in God's plan right now. I am so willing to be wrong. All I want is to figure out God's will and act on it.
ReplyDeleteI won't settle; and if things keep progressing in the direction they are now, ANYONE who marries Sam won't be settling.
Thanks, girl :)
Natalie: Thank you :) I'm doing a lot of breathing, and trying to do a lot of praying. I'm really excited to be open and trust God and see what happens.
~Stephanie