Sunday, April 7, 2013

Krispy Kreme Dream


{PC = Sam}

PC and I were in an apartment. It might have been at the beach. I think we were the only ones there.

I think we had an argument or something, because I sort of stormed out. He followed me, asking what I wanted to do, kind of to pacify me.

“I want Krispy Kreme,” I said. My hair was in a side ponytail, like I wear it to dance at Campbell. I don’t know why I know that.

“Okay, we can do that,” he said.

So we started walking. We were in a very dark, dirty, industrialized part of town.

Sam started to walk a different direction from me.

“No,” I said. “It’s this way. I’m sure.”

“I mean, I think this is the better way,” he said.

“Like, I don’t,” I said unreservedly. “I know where Battleground is. It’s right there. The Krispy Kreme is like RIGHT THERE.” I pointed. We couldn’t see it, because of the tall, dark buildings, but I was sure it was just on the other side of them.

“I mean, maybe you can go that way, but—”

“I am.” And I started walking. Sam didn’t say anything else. He followed me, although he still thought his way was more direct.

When we reached Battleground and looked to the left, where I thought the Krispy Kreme would be, we did see the Krispy Kreme. However, it was a lot farther down the road than I’d thought. In all actuality, Sam’s way would have been about as close. However, he was also surprised. His route would not have put us nearly as close to Krispy Kreme as he'd thought either.

Neither of our routes had been as accurate as we’d both been certain they were. I think we both admitted that.

When we got to Krispy Kreme, I got a box of a dozen doughnuts, but I wanted to mix and match the contents. I was getting doughnuts for my whole family, and probably, like, Cassidy too, so I had to get something for everyone. It was stressful. I didn’t know what the best combination was.
I think this dream might really mean something. Maybe I’m not 100% right in thinking that Sam and I ARE NOT the right ones for each other; and maybe Sam’s not 100% right in thinking that he and I ARE DEFINITELY the right ones for each other. Maybe God doesn’t engineer life so that we have to choose the one right option out of a million close-but-no-cigar options. Maybe he can work with several options and he actually lets us pick from a small selection of ones that he’s approved.

Krispy Kreme symbolizes the ultimate “right” decision and/or happiness. Maybe both our paths will lead us there, we just have to decide which one we want to choose.

{Although, neither of our paths were actually the best. Hm. What does THAT mean? Where’s the middle option? Through those dark, scary buildings? There wasn’t even a ROAD there. Hm.}

Do I want to be with him? I have to decide. And maybe either way I decide can lead to a good future.

But I feel like I’m not just choosing for myself. My trip to Krispy Kreme and how I get there are my choices, kind of, but I’m bringing doughnuts back for everyone. I have to get the right ones for the people close to me.

It’s stressful. And I don’t know what they want me to do.


  1. He could be someone that you could have a fine marriage with.. Or he could be someone that you have a great marriage with. All I'm saying.. Is that you need to find out what's best for you. Don't settle. Please.. Please don't settle. You'll spend your life wondering "what if" if you settle instead of shooting for the best.

    Text me if you need to talk, or even just someone to listen. I'm here for you <3.

  2. ((internet hug))

    try to breathe, and pray about it a lot. but don't forget to listen after you get done praying. And whatever road you choose, God will make sure that it works for His good.

  3. Alana: Maybe :) As pretentious and "goody-goody" as it might sound, I'm only interested in God's plan right now. I am so willing to be wrong. All I want is to figure out God's will and act on it.

    I won't settle; and if things keep progressing in the direction they are now, ANYONE who marries Sam won't be settling.

    Thanks, girl :)

    Natalie: Thank you :) I'm doing a lot of breathing, and trying to do a lot of praying. I'm really excited to be open and trust God and see what happens.