What I was going to do today: Have the Friday the 13th Party I've wanted to have since I was twelve.
What I'm actually doing today: Going to visit the college that I don't want to love but am probably going to end up going to.
Yup. I'm off to Furman University in South Carolina today. And tomorrow?
I'm going to Italy.
I know it's terrible, but I kind of...don't want to go :( My life is insanely busy and actually GOOD right now. I can't even explain how much I don't want to leave it at this time. But I have to. For two weeks.
And it'll probably be amazing. Just please keep our safety in your thoughts and prayers, because as the day draws near...the worrywart in me is starting to panic XD
~Stephanie
Friday, April 13, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Fragments, I Suppose {III}
Hey, I'm Stephanie.
I love to wear heels, and not only can I walk in them, I can dance in them. On one foot. On a hill.
I just bought black nail polish, something I've been wanting for a while now.
Hot Topic is my new favorite store.
Guess what I found the other day? Batman underwear. {Sonja! Hot Topic and Spencer's XD}
Green was my favorite color when I was little. It changed to blue once when I was twelve, but now it's back to green.
I almost cried watching my dance teacher perform the other day. I'm supposed to dance in my life. I know that.
I've discovered another {super}hero that I adore: the Green Lantern.
Right now it feels like I have about five dictionaries on my chest. When I figure out why it's so hard to breathe, I'll probably blog about it.
I talked to my dad the other day in the car. It was two-hour ride; we didn't have anything else to do. The conversation was heavy and weird and left me more to sort out than ever before.
I spend a lot of time wishing I lived somewhere else. A different time, a different world. But at the same time, I'm mostly happy just where I am.
I wonder if Hal Jordan would go out with me?
I have terrible fingernails, and it bothers me because I care the most about my nails of almost anyone I know.
I will never, ever use my good looks {HAAAAAAA} or femininity to get what I want. Seeing girls do that actually makes me nauseous.
I don't have a problem with bikinis, but my parents think I should. I haven't sorted this out yet.
My iPod Nano is almost full. This is shocking and distressing.
I hate Taylor Swift. But the more I pay attention to her lyrics and not the tune, style, or weird mermaid chick singing, the harder it gets.
I love the way Audrey Hepburn talks.
I hate Blogger's new look. I clicked it completely by mistake, and since it was going to switch to it anyway, there's no turning back.
Cucumbers, carrots, bananas and green peppers make my throat itch. It's terrible.
It annoys me when teenagers say they'll be with someone forever. You HOPE you will. You WANT to be. Even saying you'll LOVE them forever is better. But to say with 100% certainty that you will be with someone forever? Tell me that's not naive. With a straight face.
I had the opportunity to be excused from a school assignment today. I decided to do it anyway.
Have you ever heard THIS song? If you haven't, you're missing out. I love.
~Stephanie
Fragments I
Fragments II
I love to wear heels, and not only can I walk in them, I can dance in them. On one foot. On a hill.
I just bought black nail polish, something I've been wanting for a while now.
Hot Topic is my new favorite store.
Guess what I found the other day? Batman underwear. {Sonja! Hot Topic and Spencer's XD}
Green was my favorite color when I was little. It changed to blue once when I was twelve, but now it's back to green.
I almost cried watching my dance teacher perform the other day. I'm supposed to dance in my life. I know that.
I've discovered another {super}hero that I adore: the Green Lantern.
Right now it feels like I have about five dictionaries on my chest. When I figure out why it's so hard to breathe, I'll probably blog about it.
I talked to my dad the other day in the car. It was two-hour ride; we didn't have anything else to do. The conversation was heavy and weird and left me more to sort out than ever before.
I spend a lot of time wishing I lived somewhere else. A different time, a different world. But at the same time, I'm mostly happy just where I am.
I wonder if Hal Jordan would go out with me?
I have terrible fingernails, and it bothers me because I care the most about my nails of almost anyone I know.
I will never, ever use my good looks {HAAAAAAA} or femininity to get what I want. Seeing girls do that actually makes me nauseous.
I don't have a problem with bikinis, but my parents think I should. I haven't sorted this out yet.
My iPod Nano is almost full. This is shocking and distressing.
I hate Taylor Swift. But the more I pay attention to her lyrics and not the tune, style, or weird mermaid chick singing, the harder it gets.
I love the way Audrey Hepburn talks.
I hate Blogger's new look. I clicked it completely by mistake, and since it was going to switch to it anyway, there's no turning back.
Cucumbers, carrots, bananas and green peppers make my throat itch. It's terrible.
It annoys me when teenagers say they'll be with someone forever. You HOPE you will. You WANT to be. Even saying you'll LOVE them forever is better. But to say with 100% certainty that you will be with someone forever? Tell me that's not naive. With a straight face.
I had the opportunity to be excused from a school assignment today. I decided to do it anyway.
Have you ever heard THIS song? If you haven't, you're missing out. I love.
~Stephanie
Fragments I
Fragments II
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
The Evolution of a Stephanie
So, the other day I was...
Actually wait. How DID I get this idea?
I can't remember. But I got to thinking about what a strange, dysfunctional little kid I was. I had the best family life ever and great friends, so I should have been fine, but holy mother of cows. I think back to my eleven-year-old self and wonder how in God's name I had any friends at all.
But then I was like, "Well, maybe you weren't as bad as you think." So that got me curious, and ended in me rummaging through my chest of journals when I should have been doing history research. I found this almost-ugly brown flowered journal that I used from 2004-2007 and started reading. And guess what?
I was every bit as bad as I feared.
I wanted a goat named Steve and wrote several heart-wrenching entries about how "I WOULD SO FIND MY STEVE ONE DAY!"
I cried into my dog's fur for an hour when our news anchor died. Guys, imagine what I would have been like if something legitimately tragic had happened to me?
I panicked because I had to drink caffeinated Coca-Cola at 4pm for a girl's science fair project. "If I get cafine that late in the afternoon it'll keep me up all night and that would be bad 'cause the next day is church and I'll be awfully tired! I HATE being up at night!!!! Esp. from cafine! :((((((((((((" Take. A. Chill. Pill.
I had a headache once, and told my journal I wished I were dead.
I also had funny ideas about being grown-up and "normal." When Sarah finally started taking showers {as opposed to baths}, I wrote "It's so cool because we can fight over it {the bathroom} like in the movies!"
However, my thoughts on dating were remarkably well-adjusted for an eleven-year-old. "Tyler B and Megan are in 'love.' Tyler keeps giving her tons of presents. Yesterday it was 2 bucks, a little toy puppy, one of his bracelets and something else I don't remember what. I think he's going to go broke on her and then she's gonna dump him."
And I thought my being cynical was a recent development XD
Even when I got asked out for the first time, I managed to keep my head on relatively straight.
"Oh yeah! Stephanie {last name}, aged 11 years was asked out by Ian T. {last name} on Jan 9, 2006 at home-school during a war!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! {We played war. It was actually rather epic.} I'm not allowed to date yet, though. I'm sort of glad. I got REALLY nervous when he asked me. I could tell he was, too. I told him that I liked him a lot, but I wasn't ready for a relationship yet. He's SO NOT my type, Journal. Something about him is just so sirious! I mean, he does joke, but, somehow he's always sirious. I don't think I could spent the rest of my life with someone like that."
Well played, sixth-grade-Steph. Well played.
But then it all went down hill when I fell in love with this guy named Sam {not the Sam that comments here}. It hit me on July 21, 2006 when I was twelve and launched me into emotional turmoil until I was about sixteen. I only wish I were kidding, guys.
But we all know that what went downhill eventually came back up :) I've reconciled my life without Steve the Goat, can hold it together when a news anchor passes on and simply take ibuprofen for headaches instead of praying for death. As for dating, I remain cynical and clueless, but somehow that doesn't seem to be stopping me.
Life's a funny thing. Remember it.
~Stephanie
Actually wait. How DID I get this idea?
I can't remember. But I got to thinking about what a strange, dysfunctional little kid I was. I had the best family life ever and great friends, so I should have been fine, but holy mother of cows. I think back to my eleven-year-old self and wonder how in God's name I had any friends at all.
But then I was like, "Well, maybe you weren't as bad as you think." So that got me curious, and ended in me rummaging through my chest of journals when I should have been doing history research. I found this almost-ugly brown flowered journal that I used from 2004-2007 and started reading. And guess what?
I was every bit as bad as I feared.
I wanted a goat named Steve and wrote several heart-wrenching entries about how "I WOULD SO FIND MY STEVE ONE DAY!"
I cried into my dog's fur for an hour when our news anchor died. Guys, imagine what I would have been like if something legitimately tragic had happened to me?
I panicked because I had to drink caffeinated Coca-Cola at 4pm for a girl's science fair project. "If I get cafine that late in the afternoon it'll keep me up all night and that would be bad 'cause the next day is church and I'll be awfully tired! I HATE being up at night!!!! Esp. from cafine! :((((((((((((" Take. A. Chill. Pill.
I had a headache once, and told my journal I wished I were dead.
I also had funny ideas about being grown-up and "normal." When Sarah finally started taking showers {as opposed to baths}, I wrote "It's so cool because we can fight over it {the bathroom} like in the movies!"
However, my thoughts on dating were remarkably well-adjusted for an eleven-year-old. "Tyler B and Megan are in 'love.' Tyler keeps giving her tons of presents. Yesterday it was 2 bucks, a little toy puppy, one of his bracelets and something else I don't remember what. I think he's going to go broke on her and then she's gonna dump him."
And I thought my being cynical was a recent development XD
Even when I got asked out for the first time, I managed to keep my head on relatively straight.
"Oh yeah! Stephanie {last name}, aged 11 years was asked out by Ian T. {last name} on Jan 9, 2006 at home-school during a war!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! {We played war. It was actually rather epic.} I'm not allowed to date yet, though. I'm sort of glad. I got REALLY nervous when he asked me. I could tell he was, too. I told him that I liked him a lot, but I wasn't ready for a relationship yet. He's SO NOT my type, Journal. Something about him is just so sirious! I mean, he does joke, but, somehow he's always sirious. I don't think I could spent the rest of my life with someone like that."
Well played, sixth-grade-Steph. Well played.
But then it all went down hill when I fell in love with this guy named Sam {not the Sam that comments here}. It hit me on July 21, 2006 when I was twelve and launched me into emotional turmoil until I was about sixteen. I only wish I were kidding, guys.
But we all know that what went downhill eventually came back up :) I've reconciled my life without Steve the Goat, can hold it together when a news anchor passes on and simply take ibuprofen for headaches instead of praying for death. As for dating, I remain cynical and clueless, but somehow that doesn't seem to be stopping me.
Life's a funny thing. Remember it.
~Stephanie
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Couples I Love to Love
I've addressed the fact that my best friend Cassidy is a romantic {here}. In the same post, I also addressed the fact that I am not. But recently, a question was posed that I had to think about for a long while:
Are there even fictional couples that I love together?
I thought long and hard and decided that Yes. Yes, there are. And here they are.
{Obviously this contains spoilers, but the only ones people might freak out about are the Hunger Games and Betsy series. They're the last two and tiny if you want to skip them. [I'm absolutely religious about not spoiling books for people, so sorry if this seems overboard XD]}
1. Rick and Elsie ~ Casablanca
2. Ann and Joe ~ Roman Holiday
3. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy ~ Pride and Prejudice
4. Hector and Andromache ~ The Iliad
5. Rose and Jack ~ The Titanic
6. Katniss and Peeta ~ the Hunger Games
7. Betsy and Joe ~ the Betsy series
7. Betsy and Joe ~ the Betsy series
Yup. Out of everything I've ever seen and read, these seven are the ones that "get me."
Cassidy: "I see. And how many of those couples actually end up together?"
Me: "Um...three :3"
Cassidy: *sigh*
Cassidy: "I see. And how many of those couples actually end up together?"
Me: "Um...three :3"
Cassidy: *sigh*
~Stephanie
Monday, April 9, 2012
Voices
You can tell a lot about people from the way they talk. Do they have a southern accent? A Yankee accent? Do they use the word "like" as a substitute for breathing?
However, the WAY someone talks isn't the same thing as their voice.
As I {literally} said not to long ago, voices really are important to me. They're one of the first things I notice about someone {along with their eyes}. If you have an annoying voice, I probably won't like you much right away. {Hey, I'm just being honest.} When I marry someone, I'm going to have to love their voice.
I mean, obviously I pay attention to WHAT people say, but I've already talked about that. This post is about the way words sound coming out of your mouth.
And let's face it: you can have the best idea in the world, but if your voice sounds like you've shoved an eraser up your nose or swallowed a load of cotton, it's not going to be as compelling.
My fascination with voices is actually a little ironic, because my audio processing is sort of terrible. For example, if you come up to me and say, "Stephanie, don't forget the P-R-E-S-E-N-T," it will take me about thirty seconds to figure out what you're spelling at me.
If my math teacher tells me to "Calculate sixteen plus twelve in your head really quick," it will take me even longer. {Of course, that's partly due to the fact that math affects my brain the way the words "incoming atomic bomb" affect most people.}
But nevertheless, I have an immense fascination with voices, and I thought I'd share some famous ones that I love.
1. Christian Bale ~ Batman
2. Audrey Hepburn ~ Roman Holiday
3. Heath Ledger ~ A Knight's Tale
4. James Stewart ~ Harvey
5. Joseph Gordon-Levitt ~ Inception
6. Orlando Bloom ~ Pirates of the Caribbean
7. Ian Somerhalder ~ Vampire Diaries
8. Briana Evigan ~ Step Up 2
~Stephanie
However, the WAY someone talks isn't the same thing as their voice.
As I {literally} said not to long ago, voices really are important to me. They're one of the first things I notice about someone {along with their eyes}. If you have an annoying voice, I probably won't like you much right away. {Hey, I'm just being honest.} When I marry someone, I'm going to have to love their voice.
I mean, obviously I pay attention to WHAT people say, but I've already talked about that. This post is about the way words sound coming out of your mouth.
And let's face it: you can have the best idea in the world, but if your voice sounds like you've shoved an eraser up your nose or swallowed a load of cotton, it's not going to be as compelling.
My fascination with voices is actually a little ironic, because my audio processing is sort of terrible. For example, if you come up to me and say, "Stephanie, don't forget the P-R-E-S-E-N-T," it will take me about thirty seconds to figure out what you're spelling at me.
If my math teacher tells me to "Calculate sixteen plus twelve in your head really quick," it will take me even longer. {Of course, that's partly due to the fact that math affects my brain the way the words "incoming atomic bomb" affect most people.}
But nevertheless, I have an immense fascination with voices, and I thought I'd share some famous ones that I love.
1. Christian Bale ~ Batman
2. Audrey Hepburn ~ Roman Holiday
3. Heath Ledger ~ A Knight's Tale
4. James Stewart ~ Harvey
5. Joseph Gordon-Levitt ~ Inception
6. Orlando Bloom ~ Pirates of the Caribbean
7. Ian Somerhalder ~ Vampire Diaries
8. Briana Evigan ~ Step Up 2
~Stephanie
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Easter
It's weird, having Pandora be over a year old, because now I'm running into holidays that I've already covered, and I'm like, "Well, hm, what'd I say last year?"
Last year, I was doing better than I had been for a while. God was helping me get through my problem and a good bit of personal drama.
This year, I'm slightly freaking out about where to go to college, but my personal life and masochism issues aren't plaguing me so much. Things are actually quite good, albeit terrifying {three more days of being a high-schooler, no big dea--HOLY SH'T, WHAT?}. But does that mean I need God less?
Um. No.
I'm super guilty of living my life that way, though. When times are bad, I run to God. When times get good, I put him on hold. "Yes, God, I know you have plans for me, and I'll be with you in just a minute, okay?"
What if we treated our friends that way?
Ooh. When I thought about it like that, it put things in perspective. Remember Ellie? My best friend who dropped off the face of the planet for about six months? She didn't have personal issues for me to help her with, so she didn't communicate with me at all. It hurt me, made me angry, and just plain wasn't fair. What a one-sided relationship!
Then you have God. He created a beautiful world for us to live in, and wanted us to live happily. But every day we choose to lie, steal, cheat, etc., and the penalty for that is eternal separation from him. But he loved us an amazing amount. So he took a part of himself, tore it from Heaven and flung it down on Earth to pay the price for us instead. God died so that we could live.
And yet I still forget to go to him when times are good.
This Easter, I want to remember that God died for me once and for all; he loves me every day; and he wants a personal connection with me. I'm not just one in a million to God. He would have died for me if I were the only person in the world. Same to you.
This post feels clinical and uninspired as I write it, so I might do a follow-up later. But I just want to say that God wants to be your best friend, your dad, your support, you encouragement, your kick in the ass, whatever you need. Not only do we owe him our attention, but once we give it to him, we'll begin to wonder why we ever thought spending time with him was a sacrifice.
Jesus loves me. Jesus loves you. And he thinks we're all to die for.
Happy Easter, guys.
~Stephanie
Last year, I was doing better than I had been for a while. God was helping me get through my problem and a good bit of personal drama.
This year, I'm slightly freaking out about where to go to college, but my personal life and masochism issues aren't plaguing me so much. Things are actually quite good, albeit terrifying {three more days of being a high-schooler, no big dea--HOLY SH'T, WHAT?}. But does that mean I need God less?
Um. No.
I'm super guilty of living my life that way, though. When times are bad, I run to God. When times get good, I put him on hold. "Yes, God, I know you have plans for me, and I'll be with you in just a minute, okay?"
What if we treated our friends that way?
Ooh. When I thought about it like that, it put things in perspective. Remember Ellie? My best friend who dropped off the face of the planet for about six months? She didn't have personal issues for me to help her with, so she didn't communicate with me at all. It hurt me, made me angry, and just plain wasn't fair. What a one-sided relationship!
Then you have God. He created a beautiful world for us to live in, and wanted us to live happily. But every day we choose to lie, steal, cheat, etc., and the penalty for that is eternal separation from him. But he loved us an amazing amount. So he took a part of himself, tore it from Heaven and flung it down on Earth to pay the price for us instead. God died so that we could live.
And yet I still forget to go to him when times are good.
This Easter, I want to remember that God died for me once and for all; he loves me every day; and he wants a personal connection with me. I'm not just one in a million to God. He would have died for me if I were the only person in the world. Same to you.
This post feels clinical and uninspired as I write it, so I might do a follow-up later. But I just want to say that God wants to be your best friend, your dad, your support, you encouragement, your kick in the ass, whatever you need. Not only do we owe him our attention, but once we give it to him, we'll begin to wonder why we ever thought spending time with him was a sacrifice.
Jesus loves me. Jesus loves you. And he thinks we're all to die for.
Happy Easter, guys.
~Stephanie
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Dance Dance
Recently {at least when I'm writing this I am} obsessed with this song. I danced to the Vitamin String Quartet version my sophomore year and loved that. Then I acquired the Fall Out Boy version and fell in love all over again. I think I've listened to it twenty times in two car trips.
So yeah. I'm sharing.
~Stephanie
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