Saturday, September 29, 2012

I Miss Sam and Cassidy

Ah, I'm so tired.

It's Family Weekend at Campbell University. I told my parents I'd rather go home than have them come here--there's nothing worthwhile to do in Buies Creek--but they wanted to come "see my turf."

So far, we have eaten dinner at Sagebrush, gotten amazing snowcones, and watched TV for like an hour and a half. Then they went to a hotel, and I spent a couple of hours laying on the floor watching TV and eating cereal and recording a dream that's been floating around in my head for days.

Right now, I'm supposed to be sleeping. I really thought I was going to. I'm not sure why I'm still awake, reading through dream files and texting Cassidy and worrying about Sam for no reason.

I miss him, guys. I miss how it used to be as easy as "Wanna come over?"  "Yeah." and then we were hanging out.

I miss being close to someone, which is really weird. I never in my life thought I'd miss physical contact in a real way.

I miss Cass. I miss there being a person who I could share everything about life with, from cereal to That 70s Show.  I miss someone finishing my sentences and pointing out my bullcrap.

I miss riding in the Camry, knowing that she'll pick good music and we'll notice all the same random stuff as we drive along. And sometimes not recognize where we are.

There is no point to this post really. I'm sorry to clog your Dashboard with rambling. I'm just very, very tired and I miss my boyfriend and my bestfriend a lot. They're pretty much extensions of myself.

Only that makes it sound like they exist only as my limbs, which is not at all what I mean. I mean that they're so much a part of me that I feel like a third of a person now.

They totally complete me. I'm not a functioning member of society without them.

I need Sam to talk for me when I don't know what to say.

I need Cassidy to tell me when to stop talking.

I need Sam to help me translate Male.

I need Cassidy to be my unconditional best friend.

I need Sam to be like, "You can't eat that ice cream. You'll feel terrible."

I need Cassidy make sure I cut tags off my clothes and don't wear brown shoes with black clothes.

I need Sam to help me figure out how to get places.

I need Cassidy to speak Spanish with me.

I need both of them to translate spelled words for me.

I need both of them to let me know when I'm BS-ing, because I ususally don't know myself.

I need both of them to laugh at things I think are funny.

I need both of them to watch Friends and That 70s Show and Adventure Time with me.

I need...


I need the rest of my self.


1 comment:

  1. This literally made me tear up. You may have been "rambling" but even then you're still an amazing writer. You moved me.
    I'm sorry you miss them :/. I wish I could help somehow. I will be praying for you. I pray things will get better <3