Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Dating Duration

September 10th will be Sam's and my five-month-iversary.

People at college often ask me how long Sam and I have been together, and I've realized that lot of people have been dating for significantly longer than we have. And people who have been dating for eight, ten, fourteen months seem to dismiss my relationship because it hasn't been official for as long.

And I've done the same thing in my head, basically my whole life.

Oh, hah, they've only been together for TWO months.

But until recently, I hadn't ever been on the recieving end of that thought pattern. At first, I sort of bought into it. I actually felt like my relationship wasn't as important to the cosmic forces because it hadn't existed for as long.

But after just a few days of being on the short end of that, the pressure and prestige of relationship length just drifted away.

That pattern of thinking doesn't make enough sense. It's not a very valid view. All relationships have to be five months old before they can be five years old. At one time, my parents had only been dating for two or three months. Now they're happily into their twenty-sixth year of marriage.

The most important thing to look at when "judging" a relationship is the depth, not the duration. I can say with relative certainty that Sam and I have a more real relationship than a particular couple I know who's been dating for almost a year.

There's no way to dispell the duration judgments from anyone's mind (mine included) completely, and it's not without importance. You typically know more about someone the longer and more closely you've known them, so it only makes sense to apply that theory to dating.

But I think we all need to be a little less...shallow. Don't dismiss a relationship ONLY because it's been a thing for just a few months. Be interested; be glad for the person. They just might end up together for the rest of forever. Dating duration is not ever the best indication of a meaningful or healthy relationship.

Although I admit, it's freaking awesome and adorable that Sam faithfully keeps up with our month-iversaries, and how many days there are until the next one :3 Totally adorable.