Ten Things We Learn from Teen Fantasy Media
1. A good enough one-liner gives any teen the right to walk away from his or her parents.
2. Villains you have killed are more dangerous than live ones. Why? Because they're never ACTUALLY dead, so believing they are just makes you vulnerable to surprise attacks.
3. If any two characters share a smile and a look that lasts longer than three seconds, they will have sex together at some point.
4. No one ever actually hates/ stays mad at someone forever.
5. No one is ever actually an orphan. It's just a loophole so that a long-lost parent can show up later.
6. It is totally possible to fall in love with someone knowing nothing more than their species (human/vampire/werewolf/witch/alien/etc.) and how many visible ab muscles they have.
7. If you open a closet or refrigerator door, there will be someone standing behind it when you close it. (You are also obligated to gasp daintily, briefly shut your eyes, and murmur, "You scared me.")
8. Sex never complicates anything. It will never be distracting or dramatic, and actually fosters intellectual development as a couple.
9. There will always be a love triangle. If there isn't one now, then brace yourself, because it's coming.
10. All girls go to bed wearing full makeup and bras.
But ultimately, everything will totes okay, as long as you and your significant other make each other's love the most important thing in the world.
P.S. This is also the 600th post! Noice. Thanks for sticking it out with me :)
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