Sunday, August 19, 2012

First Morning

Well. I am at college. I am at Campbell University in my dorm room with my roommate Rebekah, sitting in a plastic chair, typing this post on a laptop that is mine on a desk afixed to the wall.

How am I?

I dunno.

Yesterday was pretty good. I mean, it really couldn't have gone better. Mom, Daddy, Sarah, Cassidy, and David (unbiological brother) came with me to move in and say goodbye. I definitely couldn't have moved in without them. Daddy tackled the long, thin bookcase; Cassidy and David figured out the short, wide shelving unit; Sarah helped everyone with everything; Momma put away all my stuff; I put away my clothes.

Let me just say, my room looks AMAZING. I have seriously never seen a dorm room this awesome. Not in pictures, not in my hall, not anywhere. It's black and gray and green with Batman accents. Everything matches, and it looks great.

I also have everything I could possibly want, I think. My mom stocked me up on everything from Rice Krispy Treats to a wisk to cold medicine.

{I'll take picutres later :)}

Speaking of cold medicine, I think I'm getting sick, which is extremely troubling to me. I don't want to have a cold and a sore throat for my first few days of college. I don't want to feel terrible and pitiful and not have anyone to take care of me. I know it has to happen sometime, but why right now? :-/

There are a lot of things I haven't done or figured out yet. I haven't taken a shower here yet. I've barely used the restroom. I haven't gotten a PO box. I definitely haven't had classes yet.

Oh, in my box of textbooks, I got some weird, remote-like thing. I'm really worried and confused about it, because I have no clue what it is. It's probably something hilariously obvious or unimportant, but I'm a little stressed out about that...

Okay, how AM I. How AM I? {If you can't tell, this post is as much for me as it is for you. Journaling is too slow for the torrent of thoughts and experiences I have to record right now.}

*sigh* I don't know. I still want to go home. I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that THIS IS MY HOME NOW. I don't WANT it to be that way. I feel like I'm still living at home, and college is just a visit, instead of it being the other way around. To be honest, I don't want to lose that. I know that to enjoy college to the fullest I have to embrace it, but...well, maybe I don't WANT to enjoy college to the fullest. *sigh*

All I want is to get by happily with good grades and then move the hell back to where I belong and go to Wake Forest.

My first weekend home is Labor Day, Friday the 31st through Monday the 3rd. I cannot wait. I'm counting down the days. I'm just holding on for that. I'm holding on for when I can eat my mom's food and do nothing/everything with Cassidy and hug my sister and watch TV with my dad and be with Sam.

I just want to have a nice visit at college and hold out for the times when I go HOME.

I know that's terrible. I know I need to stop. But I still hope that I won't.

Can you just pray that the evening of August 31st comes quickly, and that this cold/sore throat doesn't get too bad?


P.S. I'm going to chapel in forty-five minutes. I hope it doesn't suck.

P.P.S Also, please keep in touch with me. Comment, email, those who have my cell number, TEXT ME RELENTLESS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Even if I don't reply every time, for the love of God keep harrassing me. Please.


  1. Moms are the greatest aren't they? They always pack the stuff we never even thought we'd need for a second.

    I hope you don't get sick but at least if it happens then you can stop worrying about it. And just forget about the remote thing, you'll find out when you find out.

  2. Wow, I'm still young, but I kinda get what you mean. I felt the same way when I was at 7th grade camp. All I wanted to do was go home! But all I can say is just give it a chance and some time. It will get better :)

  3. I still have 2 years or so before I move away from home, but I'm already dreading/ excited (about) it. So I kinda get what you mean.

    Cheer up! Remember, no matter what changes, this remains the same - your followers, your blog, your writing. I know that's not much of a consolation, but at least you know there is this. You know that if you've had the worst day of your like (like today), you always have us to vent to!

    Lots of love!

  4. You'll make it though, I promise :). I'll text you soon !

  5. honey you'll be fine. just remember to breathe and try to enjoy this experience :) someday you'll look back on this post and think to yourself 'what the heck was i so worried about??" :) been there, done that ;)