Sunday, March 27, 2011


I love people. I love meeting new people, hanging out with old people, hating annoying people, loving funny people, the whole people-person sha-bang. Making friends is a great pastime, and there here are so many types of friends to make.


OFFICIAL BEST FRIEND {or BFF}: An official best friend is the girl who gets the title, even though you might not see her all that much. She's awesome and you tell each other everything, but you don't have as many every day things in common. Usually this a person you've known for a long time.

FUNCTIONING BEST FRIEND: A functioning best friend is the girl who might really be your BFF if it weren't for the official one. You do life together and have more in common, etc., but you can't replace your Official BFF because she'd be pissed/hurt/etc..

THAT GIRL: That Girl is basically the girl that's in your crowd, but you don't actually know her that much. She seems sort of nice {or mean}, but you don't really know her enough to make a judgment. So she sits there in friendship limbo until...well, never.

THE POPULAR CHICK: This is the girl that everyone is nice to because she's gorgeous and has 1682 Facebook friends. You know she's not a particularly dynamic personality {and you may even really hate her}, but you're nice to her because everyone is. It's a law of nature. And who knows, maybe you can grab one of her cast-off guys.

THE QUIET ONE: Um, yeah. She's quiet, so who knows? You can't strongly like her or dislike her because she never opens her mouth except to say "Bless you" when someone sneezes.

THE CHEESE-GRATER: Everyone has one of these. The friend that you grit your teeth and call a friend don't even know why. She's that girl who somehow annoys the flaming piss out of you by doing next to nothing. Maybe she tells stupid jokes, or chews with her mouth open, or laughs like an ape, or any number of subtly obnoxious things. The Cheese-Grater is even more irritating if you're the only one who feels this way.

THE CLIFF: You know that girl that you're always self-conscious about? The one who calls every "That's what she said" joke, talks really loud in restaurants, and occasionally scares off the cute guys? Yeah. She's constantly on the edge of TOO FAR {hence "The Cliff"} and you can never be sure that she knows when to stop. It's nerve-wracking.

ADDITIONAL TITLES {These may apply to another friend, or be added to someone who already has a title.}

THE SPONGE: The Sponge is the girl who always seems to have misplaced her wallet. {"Oh my god, I am so sorry, I can't believe this, I must have left it at a home...What? You'll pay for me? Oh my gosh, are you sure? Thank you so much." *repeat*}

THE FLIRT: It's a classic. Batting eyelashes, giggle incessantly, pushing herself into the seat next to the hottie, etc. It's even worse if the guys go for it.

THE SENSITIVE ONE: She cries when the dog dies. She funds Save the Seals programs. She acts as if you've committed murder when you laugh at anything that looks slightly underprivileged. It's sweet you guess, but also monumentally annoying.



  1. HAHAHAHA! This is so freaking true I love you for posting about it.

    I once had a "friend" that was a combination of The Cheese Grater and The Cliff. I worked with her and would rather claw my face off than listen to another one her obnoxious stories. Everyone loved her and I didn't know why. Well... I'll just say she's no longer my friend anymore and life is much better.

    By far one of my favorite posts... love it!

  2. Ugh, I feel your pain. I hate it when everyone loves someone I hate... I just like to think everyone else is wrong ;)

    Congrats on the freedom of friendship-fading (alliteration win...)!

    Thanks :D