Wednesday, March 30, 2011

In Which I Give an Embarrassingly Long Rant About a Crush

I love that no one who reads this knows me in real life {with the exception of Sam, who I doubt is still reading XD}. It's tremendously freeing. Like, if I wanted to talk about a guy in my class that I might have a crush on, I could.

Oh, hey, now that I've mentioned it...

There's a guy in my class that I might have a crush on :3

>.< It makes me mad to think about it. Because part of me honestly despises him, but the other part of me does not. He's one of those people who have two sides: one of them is awesome, one of them sucks. Obviously, I like the awesome part. The sucky part makes me want to punch a kitten. Then I just want to punch myself for allowing myself to like the awesome part.

C'est l'amour -_-

So I know you're just dying to hear about this guy {or not. In which case, go away.}, and I don't have a problem sharing. What a win-win situation.

First things first: I'll just go ahead and appease the shallow in all of us by saying that's he's attractive. By a fairly large margin. Personally, I think he's one of the hottest real people I know. He channels Jeremy Sumpter, and we all know how I feel about HIM.

Moving on. His personality perfectly fits my ideal guy. He's smart, funny, stubborn, mischievous, and a great talker/debater.

General Personality:
I kind of already covered that. He's really funny, one of those people who can pull off stuff no one else can. He's stubborn, but gives in easily when he knows he's wrong. He's not too proud in that area, which is nice because I most definitely am.

He has a great streak of mischief in him that I don't think he'll ever completely outgrown :] It's not the stupid kind of mischief either, the kind that's immature and gets you in trouble. It's a clever, creative, funny kind of mischief.

He's a bit of a pyromaniac, which I completely understand, being one myself.

He can talk about almost anything and not sound stupid. He likes to talk, and he's good at it. If we were to go together, I wouldn't have to do all the talking, which I LOVE. I'm a talkative person, but I can't even tell you how much I love it when someone else likes to do the talking, too.

In School:
He struggles in math exactly the same way I do: he's basically lazy and looses concepts if he doesn't work on them every day. American history and philosophy are the subjects he gets into the most, and the same goes for me.

Most of the people in my class don't enjoy those two subjects. At all. They pretty much do the bare minimum and try not to think.

This guy and I love to explore the possibilities and let our minds race. The philosophy discussions mostly consist of one of us bringing up something we noticed, the other playing off of that, and the two of us going back and forth, faster and faster, deeper and deeper, until we hit upon some huge moral or logical breakthrough.

All the while the class kind of stares at us like they're watching a ping-pong match and the teacher watches us go with wide eyes.

American history goes about the same. We feel the same way about history and the government, so much so that I'm constantly shocked that anyone could mirror my opinions so exactly. We both see things in black and white, value justice over mercy, and believe that the government has taken too much control. We like the same presidents, and have the same thoughts on the economy.

Every once in a while, we have opinions that are different, and discuss them out in class. He explains things in ways I've never thought of, and I help him see the other side to the situations.

He's a champion debater when he tries, but lots of times he's too lazy to do the research. Even when he doesn't, he thinks on his feet better than anyone I know, and uses sound logic all the time. I'm a great debater myself {um, in all modesty, I mean...} and usually do the research, but I'm a planner. Either way, we both kick butt and neither wants to go against the other.

In Athletics:
If I had to pick one sport love, it would be dance.

If I had to pick one sport PLAYED WITH A BALL, it would be soccer. This guys is a pretty great soccer player. He specializes in goalie, and is really good at it. We were on the same rec league team two years in a row and I got to see his soccer skills in action.

Also his abs. Because he likes taking his shirt off in front of everyone to change into his goalie jersey. What an obnoxiously gorgeous show-off.

He beats himself up if he feels like he caused the game to be lost. He can also be something of a hot head and occasionally loses it. Maybe this should freak me out. It doesn't. I think it's hott.

The Bad Side:
All that, is him when he's at school or at soccer. When he's not, he's a total douche.

I'm talking two-faced, low standards, fallen morals, drug-dabbling, spaghetti-spined wannabe pimp.


On the one hand, he's great and we're basically perfect for each other.
And on the other, there's no way.

I know he can be an amazing person, but apparently that person isn't "cool" enough for him. He has to go off and be someone else, someone I despise. I wish he would realize his potential and stick to the awesome side of himself.

After that, it'd be good if he'd notice me as more than just the girl he likes to talk to in History. I mean, if we were friends outside of class maybe he'd come around...

Actually, no. Screw that last sentence a million times over. I have neither the time nor the desire to reform a guy. I'm also almost positive that it never works out.

*sigh* See how conflicted I am? I'm never going to get anywhere with this XD

If you made it this far, I will give you an award. No lie.



  1. *Sigh*

    How old are you again? You sound like you are my age (24) but it sounds like this is high school...

    Since I'm anonymous to you, let me just say I have had crushes on guys like this before... and it sucks. Especially because you see who they truly are but they cover it up with a wall of arrogance to cover up their insecurities. They are afraid of letting their true selves show... and you just wanna smack it out of them when they act like douche bags.

    But, he is just a high school boy going through an identity crisis. Someday this guy will grow out of this phase and realize his true self... and when that happens he will look back and remember you and how stupid he was to pass up the opportunity in asking you out.

    UGH! Men... freakin' idiots!!!

  2. My crush is a pyro too!!!! At least he used to be, I think he still is. Go fire!

    Sometimes I want to slap guys that just take their shirts off. Especially when they're handsome. Grr.

    I'm glad you sort of know him. I hate it when girls look at a guy for thirty seconds and go, "OMG I LOVE HIM!!" And they have no idea what he's like...

  3. So, if it weren't for the abs, soccer, and gorgeousness, I'd say this is me, except APPARENTLY I don't exist anymore. So yeah.

    But yeah, we all pretty much suck, and there's no "reforming" a guy like that. Unless you kick the shit out of him, which is what I'd do. But I'm a guy.

  4. Kristen: Alas, it is still highschool. *sigh*

    It does suck. I hope you’re right in that he’ll eventually snap out of it. Even if I never him, I don’t want him to squander his enormous potential, you know?

    Agreed. Idiots. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

    Shurt’ugal: Haha, fire rocks XD

    Yeah, haha. He’s hott and he knows it.

    Sam: It’s not you :P And I had this post scheduled XD I wrote it a while back, before you commented on the Coke vs. Pepsi thing. Also, I was using reverse psychology to see if you’d comment if I said that. Guess I won, mwahahaha.

    You don’t all suck XD Deep down at least. And yeah. I agree with you.

    sweet pea: Thanks…


  5. Here's a thought (admittedly from someone who considers herself asexual). Tell him you like him but let him know that he is being like a walking version of that Avril Lavigne song (lol) and that if he would act like he does in school ...

    ... you would totally date him. I don't think that qualifies as trying to change him. It's just giving him an option that he might even jump at. Just sayin'. Keep in mind, this advice also comes from a follower gathering whore (I've read what you think of them - lol).

    I guess I'm saying that I'll leave it to you to decide if I'm the best person to take advice from but before you write it off to quickly, ask yourself - what would it hurt to give it a chance. If he can be as great as you say ...