Screaming

Scream (v): to utter a loud, sharp, piercing cry.

Screaming is a rather fascinating and diverse idea. You might scream when charging into battle. You might scream when a spider falls on your face. You might scream when you step on a nail. You might scream when your sister jumps out at you.

There are many occasions on which screaming can be acceptable, and arguably fewer on which it is appropriate. And everyone is different.

I have a friend who will scream at everything. You can come up to you and say, "I am going to scare you now." And shout "BOO!!" And she will scream.

Then I have another friend who could walk through the woods in the fog in the black of night during a new moon among the hoots of an owl and the howls of a wolf and have Satan jump out at her and she would keep silent.

Personally, I find there are very few times when screaming is appropriate. Screaming annoys me. It makes me want to relieve you of your vocal chords.

But then things get all ironic.

People who know me would definitely not classify me as a screamer.

However people who REALLY know, me would.

Yes, I am a screamer. And it bothers me.

I didn't used to be like this. Up until I was about thirteen, you could throw a Batarang at my head and I would blink, duck, and ask What The Hell Was That For? But somewhere along the line, I became a real screamer.

It's not an emotional response, and it's definitely not an attention-seeking one. It's really more of a reflex. The sound issues from my mouth without thought or control. It's involuntary, yes, but no less obnoxious.

Cassidy stuck a cold spoon on my arm in class one day. *SCREAMS*

A man at the Renaissance Festival threw a marshmallow at me. *SCREAMS*

The second-grader I tutor jumped out from behind a door at me. *SCREAMS*

That last one was really embarrassing by the way. I think the kid was more freaked out than I was. He really hadn't pegged me for a screamer at all.

I wish I knew where this tendency came from, or at least why it suddenly evolved. Was I traumatized and just don't remember? Maybe I've suppressed the memory.

For whatever reason, I am a screamer, and I'm determined to rid myself of this horrible habit. I'm not really sure how to go about doing that, but I plan to tackle the Cold Screaming first. Cold hands, cold spoons, cold glasses, cold toilet seats will be my first hurdle in tackling this great weakness.