A few days ago, she posted "How to Save a Life" by the Fray. I'd heard the song before in passing, but apparently I'd never really paid attention to it.
For whatever reason, the song hit me really hard. I was actually trying to multitask and do Spanish, but as the song played, I found myself staring at the screen, frozen, acutely aware of the warm, beating organ in my chest.
I can't put into words what I felt. I've tried.
The feeling was huge and swelling, tragic and thick, warm and prickling, intimate and breath-taking. It felt like my soul getting hit in the face by a two-by-four. It felt sore and beautiful and heavy.
It was somehow exactly what I was feeling at the time. The song ripped the words from my heart and melted them into a song. The result was concrete and heartbreaking.
Maybe it seems like I'm just throwing adjectives around, but this is the best I can do. I haven't been that close to crying in a long time.
"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness, and I would have stayed up all night had I known how to save a life."
Thanks, Shena, for sharing such a powerful song.