Friday, March 9, 2012


That word sort of bothers me, because it doesn't etymologically mean anything. ANNIversary comes from the Latin words "annus," meaning "year" and "vertere," meaning "to turn." So what does "blogoversary" mean? The turning of my blog.

Hm. Okay, so it makes slightly more sense than I originally feared.

I digress.


One year ago today, I posted a quick welcome and then jumped straight into the important stuff: hott actors.

Want to know a secret? I decided to start Pandora so that I could post that post. I'm serious. The desire to post about hott actors is what pushed me over the edge. It's completely true that my old blog had started to feel really fake and I had outgrown it. It was only a matter of time before I started Pandora.

But the last straw was when I got a lot of self-righteous, critical feedback for posting about hott actors on my old blog. It occurred to me that if my followers couldn't embrace the slightly more worldly pieces of me...well, then what the hell was I doing giving them all the awesome pieces of me?

The Perfect Girl box was running out of oxygen fast. I needed somewhere that I could be ME, whole damn thing.

Pandora have given me a venue of complete freedom to express myself, because I say up front that I'M NOT PERFECT AND I PLAN ON MAKING THAT REALLY, UNCOMFORTABLY OBVIOUS, 'KAYTHNXBAI.

Through Pandora, I haven't just revealed myself to the world. I've also revealed myself to MYSELF.

I've come to face myself--all of myself. The good, the bad, the ugly, the surprising, the uncomfortable, the tragic, the encouraging, the exciting and the furious. I honestly think Pandora has helped me grow as a person, especially in the areas of openness and personal direction.

Pandora also was--and is--the only place where I can openly talk about "my problem," meaning my struggle with masochistic erotica.

It's still ridiculously hard TYPE THAT OUT. But each time I do, it gets a little easier, and the burden on my chest gets a little lighter.

I'm slowly, surely, FINALLY becoming me, guys. And it's largely thanks to YOU. You who accept me, listen to me, counsel me, humor me, talk to me, believe in me, support me, challenge me, advise me.

I want to say Thank You. Creating a venue to express myself is something I did on my own. But having an incredible support system of fellow bloggers is not something I can do for myself. You guys continue to bless me every day. I hope Pandora and I can do for you just a little of what you do for me.

Happy birthday, Pandora :) Here's to many more.



  1. Congratulations on everything you've accomplished in the last year :) It was the upsidedown A's that first made me click on your blog and I'm so glad I did because it turned out to be more than just an interesting title. You sound so free when you write that I forget it's probably a struggle to express some of it so clearly. I've enjoyed all your writing (though I might have skipped the hott actors ones :P)

  2. Bring on the Hott Actors. Shit, does that mean I was here from the start, because I remember and possibly commented:). I guess the mystery of what dragged me here has been solved.

  3. Jay: Thanks! Well, cool :D Glad they had the desired effect. It's a huge compliment that you think I express myself well. A lot of the time I feel like a ranting lunatic when I hit "publish" XD

    Jamie: Haha, must be! Either you were, or I've linked to it before or something. Don't worry; I don't plan on quitting the hott guys anytime soon ;D