Thursday, May 5, 2011

"Star Wars:" the Play

So apparently yesterday was Star Wars Day. And I missed it.

In case you weren't aware/haven't noticed the moderately subtle greatness, let me make something clear: yesterday was May 4th. May the Fourth.

As in "May the 'fourth' be with you."

Every year I've forgotten that and have to revisit the revelation. I may be pathetic, but it adds spice to life that you don't experience if you're already familiar with the play on words.

So anyway, yesterday was Star Wars Day.

Guys, Star Wars holds a special place in my heart. It was the first movie I became obsessed with, the first serious action movie I was allowed to watch, and the first play I directed.

Hm? You're curious? {Let's hope you are, because I'm telling this anyway.}

In 2005, something monumental happened for the world of Geekdom: the Star Wars saga was completed. Episode III, Revenge of the Sith came out. Along with it came a tidal wave of Darth Vader figures and Padme hairdryer-guns that had been marketed at least four times before.

I was ecstatic, of course. I was a hardcore fan {almost solely because of Hayden Christensen} and it felt good to be emotionally part of something that was sweeping the nation. In honor of my obsession and talent for taking charge {some call it being bossy. Whatever}, I decided to put on a children's Star Wars play.

At church.

You might think that wouldn't have gone over well, but my church was used to me and my random schemes/plans/clubs/petitions/unions/etc.. Everyone thought it was cool.

I held auditions, which went great except for the part where I had to go out and basically recruit 80% of the actors because no one cared. I also had to select certain scenes to do because I knew people wouldn't want to sit through a full-length deal after church. {Everyone hungry, dammit, especially if the sermon runs long.}

I ended up shaving the movie down to four scenes:

One while Anakin is good.
One when he begins to turn bad.
One when he's definitely turning bad.
And then the final scene where his Darth Vader suit is put on. {Btw Darth Vader is really Anakin Skywalker :O}

I also only needed like six people, which worked out because it was like pulling teeth to get nine-year-old boys interested in this freak show sophisticated amateur drama.

Still, as though putting on a Star Wars play with nine-year-olds at a church isn't hard enough, there were two more slight roadblocks:

I was only 11 years old myself.
I hadn't actually SEEN "Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith."

Yeah. I literally had no idea what I was doing. Looking back I wonder why the devil I even attempted this, but being clueless didn't seem to stop me. I gleaned what I could from the little boys who had seen it, and somehow patched it together.

In the eight weeks I had scheduled to rehearse, a lot could go wrong. And a lot did.

I had to cut a four-year-old from the cast, which resulted in mama-drama.
Padme turned out to be a class A biotch.
The Force is very difficult to replicate.
Count Duku consistently forgot to fall down and die after having his head severed.
Padme quit three times.
Padme's understudy ended up being significantly better than the original Padme.
But Padme insisted on coming back.

But then there were a lot of good things that happened.

Our six-year-old Obi Wan was fabulous.
We got someone to do killer scar makeup for Anakin.
During the scene where Anakin chokes Padme, we lined up a row of chair for Anakin and Padme to walk on, simulating the cliff effect.
The guy who played Anakin ended up going into acting because he liked it so much.
Everyone had their lines down pat.
The four-year-old that was cut got to be my assistant, so she chilled out.

Somehow, the play opened on time. We had about 25 people show up {of course in reality it may have been fewer} and one lady actually videoed it for us {I wonder where that tape is?}. Anakin's lisp didn't show too badly, Count Duku hesitated only a moment before collapsing, and six-year-old Obi Wan was a smash hit.

All in all, it was a pretty great experience, and definitely something I'll treasure in my memory forever. Even though I think Star Wars is pretty cheesy now, I think a part of me will always love it.

I went on to do Narnia, but...yeahh, that one didn't turn out as well.



  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! That's AWESOME!! I would've tried out, definitely... :D I'm a nerd! When Phantom Menace came out, we went and saw it. Afterwards my parents took me and my brothers to get lightsabers. There was mass chaos in the car on the way home :D. A few years later, my brother and I got "make your own lightsaber" kits. I loved them :D.

    Narnia as a play... Yeah, that doesn't work. I was in one. It was also a musical.
    I was a tree spirit, but apparently the director didn't understand what tree spirits are, since we were basically scenery. We should've been skipping about the stage playing jokes and instigating general mischief, but I just got really big biceps from holding my arms up for three hour rehearsals...

  2. LOL, that sounds awesome! I'm sure that video is priceless xD. Oh, and have you seen Awake? If not, you kinda need to. Cause Hayden Christensen is the main guy, AND it's an awesome movie overall (IMHO ;) ).

  3. Shurt'ugal: WooT!! We would have been glad to have you XD I was a hardcore fan for a looong time. *sigh* Good times.

    Ah, yeah, tree spirits should have been a lot more fun than that! Maybe the director hadn't seen the movie either XD Haha!

    Elizabeth: Thanks! I bet it is XD I wish I knew where it was...I may ask for it.