Kreativ!

So. Guess what, guys. Mackenzie awarded me.

:O

Like, a while ago. And I'm *cue sobbing* JUST SUCH A BAD BLOGGER THAT I HAVEN'T DONE IT UNTIL NOW.

*sniff*

I'm s0z, guys.

It's the Kreativ {did I spell that right?} Award. She thinks I'm kreativ :D YAY! So, I think all I've got to do is tell 10 Things About Myself and then pass it on to some of you guys.

10 Things About Myself

1. I write poetry. Apparently.

2. I like metal music.

3. I cannot handle watching people spit out their toothpaste.

4. I get words stuck in my head like most people get songs. {I had "disparagingly" stuck a couple of days ago for HOURS.}

5. I navigate really fast with a computer mouse.

6. I'm addicted to ChapStick.

7. Omitted or wrongly placed apostrophes really bother me. Like, really, really bother me.

8. I have elf ears {no, seriously}.

9. I don't like bobby pins.

10. I love songs in a minor key.

El fin.

And now, I award...

Natalie because...she's a great artist, and therefore OBVIOUSLY KREATIV.
Fiona because...read THIS post. You'll understand.
Charlotte because...I just found her blog and I really love it.

~Stephanie

I'm Twi-ing: Chapter Three

So, as you probably already know, I'm re-reading Twilight. Yep. I'm interested to see if it's as bad as I think it is, or if my opinion has just been skewed by the horrendous movies. So far I'm up to Chapter Three, and guess what?

It doesn't suck. Yet.

pg. 55: Charlie's so sweet. And not a freaking redneck like the movie makes him out to be -_-

pg. 58: Edward doesn't suck {haha, at least not figuratively...}, it's true, but I've read so much better. Like Jace. Or Will Herondale.

pg. 64: Edward pulls off angry so attractively.

pg. 65: I like the description of him looking like a destroying angel. Like Jace, except not as witty.

pg. 66: I get a kick out of Renee.

pg. 67: Bella's fascination with Edward is so much more understandable and less-creepy in the book. He's intriguing, she's not obsessive.

~Stephanie

~dancepictures~

Thanks for following, Natalie :)

So, the dance recital went well :D No major screw-ups or costume malfunctions {at least on my part XD} and a lot of my friends came :] All in all, a pretty terrific year.

Captions on the bottom, labeled left to right :]

"Dynamite"

Caroline, Karlye, Me, Susanna, Leah.

"Dynamite"

Caroline, Karlye, Me, Susanna, Leah.

"Hotel California" {instrumental}

Me, Adrianna, Kelly, Caitlin, Rachel, Caroline.

"Highway to the Danger Zone"

Rachel, Me, Karlye, Caroline, Kelly, Caitlin.

"Burlesque"

Casey, Caroline, Susanna, Me, Caroline, Caitlin

Afterwards

Adrianna, Me, Susanna, Shelby, Karlye, Mrs. Lauren {my teacher}

Afterwards

Mrs. Jennifer {my favorite teacher} and me

Afterwards

Susanna and me

Afterwards

My sister Sarah and her friend Kailee

Me and Sarah

Good times, good times :]

~Stephanie

Legit

Ever heard of the Myers-Briggs typology test? It's a legitimate personality test. Not the kind that tells you "ur a sweet person and ppl luv u!" or "ur kinda bossy u might wanna work on dat." This is a full scale, totally legit psychological test that will explain yourself to you in ways you never considered--with embarrassing accuracy.

I kind of forgot about this test until a few days ago, and it's even more awesome than I remembered.

Even if you're not into this stuff, I would suggest taking it because it honestly helps you understand your own self. You can take it HERE in about ten minutes.

The way the test works is you answer the questions, and it'll give you a four-letter personality type. Mine is ENTJ. There are two possibilities for each letter. You can either be Introverted (I) or Extraverted (E). Then you can either be Sensing (S) or Intuitive (N). Then you have either Thinking (T) or Feeling (F). And lastly you can be either Judging (J) or Perceiving (P).

Sound confusing? It's really not. It's ridiculously accurate though.

The test won't tell you about yourself in detail, it only gives you the letters. If you want to know what Myers-Briggs says about your personality type, take the test and click the appropriate type below. I'm so awesome I've linked you up.

ISTJ - Doing What Should Be Done

ISFJ - A High Sense of Duty {MY YOUNGER SISTER.}

INFJ - An Inspiration to Others

INTJ - Everything Has Room For Improvement {MY DADDY.}

ISTP - Ready to Try Anything Once

ISFP - Sees Much But Shares Little

INFP - Performing Noble Service to Aid Society

INTP - A Love of Problem-Solving

ESTP - The Ultimate Realist {MY GUY. WE ALL TOOK THE TEST IN EIGHT GRADE.}

ESFP - You Only Go Around Once in Life

ENFP - Giving Life an Extra Squeeze

ENTP - One Exciting Challenge After Another {MY CHARACTER, EMBER.}

ESTJ - Life's Administrators

ESFJ - Hosts and Hostesses of the World

ENFJ - The Great Communicators

ENTJ - Life's Natural Leaders {ME AND MY MOM.}

I found a description of my personality and found myself blushing, scowling, laughing and nodding along with it. Here are some highlights of me, an ENTJ. {Comments in the brackets.}

ENTJs...

~ The entire world is a chessboard, with pieces in need of being moved--by them--for the greater good. Life is a system of forces to be understood, mastered, harnessed, altered, or defeated, as appropriate, from day to day. {*awkwardly clears throat* Well. Yes. *blink*}

~ A low regard for people who refuse to engage them or are intimidated by them, and high regard for those who stand up to them and challenge them intellectually, emotionally, or any other way. {YES YES YES YES YES OH MY GOSH YES.}

~ Their strong egos can trick them into thinking they can do or handle anything, including details and intense interpersonal matters, but details and interpersonal skills are simply not the ENTJs' strong suits. {WHAT THE HECK? I CAN SO HANDLE INTERPESONAL--oh. Well. This is ironic.}

~ When an ENTJ "fails" at such matters, the resulting stress, frustration, and feelings of incompetence can result in self-flagellation and criticism, often totally out of proportion to the issue at hand. Indeed, when it comes to criticism of self or others, ENTJs are usually in a class by themselves. {Um. Okay, sort of true... *wince*}

~ To their frequent surprise, ENTJs are often told they appear angry, even when it is just their enthusiasm for a point that has gotten them so worked up. Such encounters can be frustrating for ENTJs--as well as for those around them--and they may find themselves in the rather ironic position of having angrily to defend their nonanger. {*jumps up and down dancing and screaming* YESSSSSSSSSS! OH MY GOSH YES.}

~ Relationships there tend to be open, honest, and stimulating. {True, at least on my end.}

~ ENTJs see children as fun because they are young minds to be encouraged, enlightened, and stimulated. As they grow, the children, too, become eligible to be drawn into hearty discourse about a variety of subjects. {YEAH! :D}

~ When rebellion is encountered, the ENTJ enjoys the exchange, even admires at some level the boldness of whoever is rebelling, but still use maximal powers of persuasion to quell the revolt and ensure that all parties continue to march to the beat of the ENTJ drummer. {Yeah. This is true.}

~ If the rebel manages to win, that person also wins the ENTJ's respect. Each day, at work or at home, the ENTJ may win some and lose some, but there are few, if any, draws. {Wow. This is so accurate.}

~ Teachers may not always understand an ENTJ, and the result is often some very hostile moments, power struggles that an ENTJ student is likely to lose. If there is no face-saving way out, the ENTJ can be resistant to subsequent learning experiences. {Yes yes yes yes YES. Story of my young life.}

~ They don't understand why anyone would personalize an argument or competition. {Yes, seriously. It's not personal, it's just an argument or a competition. I'm going to try to win, to the best of my abilities, and if it seems like I'm mad at you in the process...well, I'm not.}

Let me know what you are!

~Stephanie

Damien McGinty

Never heard of him? Yeah, it's okay. I had totally forgotten about the poor kid til, like, today. He's one of the singers in the group Celtic Thunder. Heard of them?

Well, they're a Celtic singing group, and Damien is the short one. The young one. The cute one. The one who grows up and looks like this:
Yahoooo! {<--no idea where that came from} He's cute. Not, like, OHMYGOSHHE'STHEEPITOMEOFHOTT or anything, but I think he's attractive. And adorable. And he sings Celtic music. So I figured he was worth a post.

He kind of reminds me of a young Rollo Weeks {whom it is really difficult to find pictures of}, who might merit a post himself within the new few weeks.

Anyway, more about Damien.

He's been singing with Celtic Thunder since he was only FOURTEEN YEARS OLD {dangg}. He used to be a reeeally high tenor obviously, but he's now turned into a bass. So, yeah. Yay for puberty, which took from this...

To this...

Yeah, that's right. I said this...

To this...

Oh yeah.

~Stephanie

Top Ten: Sexiest Book Guys

Thanks for following, Mackenzie!

Things I Love to Do:

1. Make lists

And lately I've been making various Top Ten lists. I find it entertaining, challenging and a great way to distract myself from the fact that it's been cloudy for about 10 out of the last 14 days. {*waaaahhh*}

So without further ado, I give you one of my personal favorite Top Ten lists:

Top Ten Sexiest Book Guys

{Since they're books, I couldn't always find pictures that fit them. I tried, but I refuse to insult the character by choosing an inaccurate picture ;]}

1. Jace Wayland

Who? Possibly the best Shadowhunter the world has ever seen

Where? "The Mortal Instruments" trilogy by Cassandra Clare

Why? He's arrogant, funny, strong, protective, attractive, fierce, and a bit brooding. He's the funniest, wittiest character I have ever read. That's a huge compliment because 1) I don't think much is witty in today's literature and 2) I read a lot. To show you just a few of Jace's best lines...

"The meek may inherit the earth but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me."

"Don't tell me. You're having a drawing emergency and you need a nude model. Well, I'm out of commission." He pointed at himself--he was wearing blue pajamas with a hole in the sleeve. "Look. Jammies."

"I have a high pain threshold. In fact, it's more of a large and tastefully decorated foyer than a threshold. But I do get easily bored."

2. John Sager

Who? A thirteen-year-old boy during the pioneer days

Where? "On to Oregon!" by

Why? John is determined, proud and clever. He's tough and protective and also an older brother, which gives him a heckuvalotta points with me. He's a pioneer badass and isn't about to let anything stop him from achieving his late father's dream. On the cover he's also really tan and attractive. *shrugs* At least I thought so when I was 11. I haven't seen that cover in a while.

3. Will Herondale

Who? A complicated, brooding Shadowhunter of the 1800s

Where? "The Infernal Devices" trilogy by Cassandra Clare
Why? Wow. Will is so hard to place in this list. I keep moving him higher, then wondering why exactly. My feelings for him are as complex as he is.

"Complicated" is perhaps the best word I can think of to describe him. "Brooding," "angry," and "confusing" also work. He's sly and capable and clever and good-looking. Black hair and blue eyes, a razor-like, intense beautiful.

4. Johnny Tremain

Who? An arrogant, teenaged ex-silversmith during the Revolutionary War

Where? "Johnny Tremain" by Esther Forbes

Why? He's one of the most complex characters I've read. He's cocky {I'm noticing a theme here} and sarcastic, but also sensitive. It's difficult to explain why he's so sexy. I think it's the combination of determination and pride that drives him.

5. Edward Cullen

Who? The smart and sexy secret vampire of Forks, Washington

Where? The "Twilight" saga by Stephenie Meyer

Why? He's had over 100 years to perfect his lady-killing skills, and they're pretty well sharpened at this point. He's sweet, protective and genuine. He's the lanky kind of strong, which gets me every time. {Actually, everyone on this list is except for Kavi.} He's also mentioned to have a crooked smile and raise one eyebrow. W00T!

6. Kavi

Who? A clever peddler-turned-spy in the Arabian-style land of Farsala

Where? "The Farsala Trilogy" Hilari Bell

Why? He's complex. He's brave, but not stupid. Proud, but not if it means his life. He's a class A liar and is haunted by his hatred for the nobles of his world. He despises their hypocritical ways and lack of honor. He's also tan.

7. Harry Potter

Who? The brave and bold child prodigy wizard of Hogwarts

Where? The "Harry Potter" series by J.K. Rowling

Why? Gosh, another complex guy. So real he MUST exist out there somewhere. Harry is brave and proud and strong, but not in ways that make him seem too good to be true. He's the perfect boy-next-door-with-a-heroic-twist sort of boy.

8. The Thief Lord

Who? A daring and clever kid gang-leader in Venice, Italy

Where? "The Thief Lord" by Cornelia Funke

Why? He's mysterious, shadowy, and arrogant, the kind of leader that expects to be followed without question. He runs the gang in a benevolent dictatorship fashion and has deep dark secrets to boot.

9. Misha

Who? A teenaged Russian rebel during the Russian Revolution

Where? "Angel On the Square" by Gloria Whelan

Why? He's cocky and rebellious and an extreme realist. He doesn't agree with the government and does what he can to stand up to it. He's determined and bold and protective of his younger cousin, even while telling her she's a silly spoiled brat.

10. Hamlet

Who? The clever and passionate Prince of Denmark

Where? "Hamlet" by William Shakespeare

Why? He's so passionate and brave and rash and angry and smart. The way he calls his mother out on her horrible scheme is really hott for some reason. He's out to avenge his father, which is another sexy quality. I dunno. I just like him.

~Stephanie

Happy Birthday

So, there's this really great guy in my life. He's really funny. He makes me laugh when I feel like crying. He loves to play with words. His mind is always going, going, thinking, processing. How could this be a pun? What can I do with this word? Wonder where it came from?

He's also really smart. Even if he doesn't know something, he likes to think about it and apply what he DOES know to figure it out. He's constantly learning new things and sharing them with me, because he knows I'll think it's cool too.

Unlike me, he's a total math brain. He loves that stuff, and he's great at it.

He has a great streak of mischief in him that is never, ever going to go away. Deep down, he's still a little boy, but he knows when to contain it. Sometimes when something happens, we'll look at each other and I know we're thinking the same hilarious thing.

He's also very strong in his faith. God is the center of his life, but he's not a goody-goody at all. He makes Christianity seem like the most exciting adventure ever. When he talks about God you can tell that he has this incredibly exciting, personal thing with him.

He does the right thing, and somehow doesn't seem stuck up or boring at all. He stands up for what he believes with strength and class. He always practices what he preaches. He's the most unhypocritical person I know, and so I listen to him.

He's the person who can talk sense into me when no one else can. We argue, definitely, but it's never a fight. It's an argument. We view those the same way: an opportunity to exercise logic and persuasion skills, a time to make our point known and listen to the other side. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes he's right, but we always come away from the talk with a new perspective.

We learn something new all the time, every day, and so much of what I know, he's taught me.

He taught me to swim.

He taught me to love puns.

He taught me to appreciate life.

He taught me to love God.

He taught me how to respond in non-offensive ways.

He taught me that being a Christian can be exciting.

He taught me to WANT to do the right thing.

He taught me Greek.

He taught me to tie knots.

He taught me to face my fears.

In every way possible, he's the best person I know and I love him more than I can ever explain.

Happy birthday, Daddy.

~Stephanie

I CRIED.

Ugh. Guys. One thing you should know:

I don't like crying.

In front of people, I abhor crying. As in, will kick/punch/scream/berate/yell at myself for months afterwards if I do so. Sunday, I did so.

It was "Hope Sunday," which is basically a Sunday where we talk about sponsoring children through World Vision. A few weeks ago, I was asked to say a few words about my child-sponsoring experience for Hope Sunday. I said, sure. And then forgot about it until, like, Sunday morning when the church was decorated in World Vision orange.

"Ohhhhh. Riiiiight. Craaaaaap." {Or something to that effect.}

But, being myself, I decided not to bother thinking about what to say. I told Cassidy I'd just wing it; I do that a lot, and I'm fine at it. In fact, in tight squeezes like that I actually do better when I just make it up as I go along.

So, it comes time for people to speak. This lady and her daughter talk about how they just got a sponsored child and it's so great to be reminded that there are starving people in the world. The daughter reads a letter they've recently gotten from their child. It's cute.

Another lady gets up and says that they're sponsoring two kids and it's great and they let their own children think of creative ways to send extra help whenever they have extra money around. It's really polished and sweet and touching and everything.

Then I get called to say whatever it is I've "planned" to say. I look at my friends like "XD" and go up and grab the microphone. I start out all polished and stuff, like I honestly normally am when I speak in front of people. I don't get nervous or emotional. I'm pretty organized and straightforward, not a lot of heartstring crud. I guess to the people who REALLY know me, I'm actually impersonal when I speak. I never thought about it before... Anyway, what I said went like this:

"Well, we started sponsoring a child when I was really little, about two years old. I was really excited and had actually been wanting to sponsor a child because I'd always wanted an older sibling. >sheepish laugh because that's no secret to anyone who's ever come in contact with me< Even one in another country was pretty cool to me. >end of mental introduction paragraph<

"We sponsored a girl named Sophan Say who lived in Cambodia. She was about eight or ten when we started. I remember in the first picture we received of her, she was barefooted and not smiling. >pause for effect<; In the second picture we received, she was smiling and had shoes on. >warm, corny smile< It was really neat for me to see that us, in the United States, were actually making a difference in someone's life across the world. >end of expected stereotypical second paragraph<

"As the years went on, we exchanged a few letters with Sophan, and eventually she got married. After a while, little drawings started to appear along with her quarterly letters and we wondered if maybe she had kids of her own.

"However, a few months ago we got a letter telling us that since Sophan had gotten married and moved away from the district, it was time for us to stop sponsoring her and give another child a chance at this great opportunity.

>I blink. I feel really weird right about now...<

"So we had to give her up.

>my voice suddenly cracks. i feel like i've literally run into a brick wall. why is my mouth quivering?? how am i supposed to speak when my voice is attempting some strange form of yodeling?? i have to go on though. um, somehow.<

"Even though we had never exchanged many letters with her... >oh my god. there are legitimate tears in my eyes. i can't TALK like this! <...I never realized how much...how much I loved her.

>my voice breaks and suddenly i'm not speaking to a group. i'm speaking to myself.<

"I wish that I had written to her. I wish I had gotten to know her better. >i didn't know i felt this way. all the sudden i'm speaking from my heart.<

"Now we have a new sponsored child, and her name is Pheakdey and she has two brothers and she likes to jump rope. >my voice is tiny and quiet and quivery and small. i have to pause and breathe.<

"And I'm determined to have a better relationship with her."

I handed the microphone off and half-ran back to my seat. I looked at Cassidy with my quivering mouth and teary eyes and said,

"I did NOT see that coming."

Wow. Sometimes when you least expect/want it, your own heart jumps into your mouth and shows you what's really going on. I hadn't realized how upset I was at myself for letting Sophan go without showing her that I cared. It really bothered me. And I will not let it happen this time.

~Stephanie

I'm Twi-ing: Chapter Two

Twilight Chapter 2...

pg. 30: Not bad...

pg. 33: I always loved Bella's domestically responsible ways. It makes me think of how I'll fend for myself when I'm grown up.

pg. 35: Third genuine laugh of the book.

pg. 36: The dialogue is getting better. Ish.

pg. 41: I like the Cullens. I'd forgotten.

pg. 46: Edward = not a freak. He's smooth, charming and attractive. Ugh, Robert Pattinson = horrible casting decision. It may also have something to do with the movie's script, which sucks.

pg. 49: Sarcastic and genuine. I like Edward.

~Stephanie

Would You Rather...?

Go blind or deaf?

I've often wondered which I'd rather lose, sight or hearing. I mean, the more I think about it the more I'm sure I want them both.

Going blind?

Reading and writing are, like, my life. I'd have to learn Braille to read, and is that even possible now? I mean, am I too old maybe? Is it like doing a split where if you don't do it when you're little, you never will?

And writing. That would be a nightmare. I'd have to get some kind of computer for blind people { one of my friends has something like that} or dictate. Dictating would be horrible; nothing would ever be private.

I could never see a sunset, or pick out clothes. I'd have to relearn everything from sports, to dance, to just walking around.

And what about dating and getting married? I mean, there are a LOT more important things than looks, but come on...I at least want to KNOW what my husband looks like! I'd have to ask someone to describe him to me. I'd have to have someone describe EVERYTHING to me. It'd be horrible.

And then you have going deaf.

I love music. I could never enjoy my favorite songs again. I could never hear NEW songs again. I couldn't listen to something to calm myself down, get pumped, or cheer up. Even singing might be hard; I don't like it when I can't make sure I sound okay.

I wouldn't be able to hear the music at dance either. I wouldn't be able to stay with the group, or feel the beat. Dancing is possible the thing that makes me feel best in the world. How could I do that without music?

I'd have trouble talking to people, and I LOVE to talk. Sign language would be frustrating and take a lot of time to learn. And just forget about phone conversations.

My mom calling me, the sound of applause after a recital, a smoke alarm. I wouldn't be able to hear any of it. What a nightmare.

Both would be so awful. But I decided once that I think I'd rather go deaf. Sign language would be easier to learn than Braille, and I'd have 2 out of my most important 3 {reading, writing and dancing}. Eyes are important to me. I want to be able to make eye contact and see my children. Losing sight would feel more like a loss of control than to lose hearing.

BUT. If I had to choose where to be BORN blind or deaf, I'd pick being born blind. Learning Braille from the start wouldn't be so bad, and I really wouldn't know what I was missing visually. However trying to form thoughts without the knowledge of sound would be really difficult. I mean, we "hear" words in our heads when we think, right? How would it be if we couldn't do that? It would a real developmental roadblock.

So there you have it. I'd rather go deaf NOW, but I'd rather be BORN blind.

What about you?

~Stephanie

~{.dancedance.}~

Heat filled the room, heavy and sticky. Thick heat, dense heat. The room felt small, like there was a charged, pulsing pressure building.

Deep inside, Ember felt her heart thudding a rhythm. Steady and deep, her body responded, letting her beating heart set the pace.

From her lips came small paths of air, hard, steady, controlled. She pushed air out, she pulled air in.

Her whole body beat and breathed at once. Her heart thudded from her chest to her ankles; when her lips drew a sip of air, so did her fingers. Beating, breathing, steady, together.

She felt her body improvise, a thud of her heart led her head to turn. With the next breath, her legs found their way into the air. Again, her arms twirled, her feet spread themselves wide. Her body twisted, her hands pulled into a tight spin.

Before she could notice, her heart had stopped beating. She had stopped breathing. There was no thud; there was no air.

There was only Ember and the music. From somewhere at the center of who she was came a bright spark that quietly exploded.

The world was there only as an afterthought. Nothing was in the front of her mind, only that she was. She didn’t feel tired or anxious or frustrated; she didn’t feel happy or proud or calm. It was a feeling much deeper.

She felt whole.

And there's an excerpt from one of my stories :]

It's especially appropriate because today is my dance recital! I've been dancing for almost 15 years and it's the love of my life. Whenever I write Ember dancing, it's really just me writing myself, from my heart.

I love a lot of things, but dance is somehow in an entirely different category, an apple among the oranges of my life.

Here's hoping the recital goes well :]

~Stephanie

Lord of the Rings

I have many weaknesses {brothers, chocolate, irony}, and one of them is Quizzes. I love quizzes. Personality quizzes, character quizzes, anything along those lines. And every once in a while, the mood just HITS and I have to do a few. Yesterday was one of those days, and I found the greatest "Lord of the Rings" quiz ever.

It's long, but really great. Unlike some really obvious quizzes, in this one you can't tell who you're going to get. But it's very accurate. It also tells you how much you're like other people. Here's what I mean:
Meriadoc Brandybuck {Merry} 77%Legolas 70%Arwen of Rivendell 70%Gandalf the Grey 66%Frodo Baggins 63%Aragorn 60%Saruman the White 57%Eowyn of Rohan 53%Peregrin Took {Pippin} 50%Boromir 43%Samwise Gamgee 40%Gimli 40%Galadriel 37%Gullum 23%
I totally understand this. I've never considered myself like Merry, but I can definitely see it. Again, I never thought about it, but I think I am the farthest thing from Gollum. It's disturbing but true to see Saruman isn't too far down the list, and I completely agree that Legolas and Arwen are close to the top.
However I would have maybe expected Galadriel to be a little higher, and Gandalf to be a little lower.
If you have time on your hands {which I realize none of you actually do}, click HERE and take the quiz! And let me know what you got and what you think of it. I'm fascinated :D

Don't You Hate It When...

{Btw, thanks for following, Fiona!}

1. You're someone's best friend, but they're not yours.

2. Someone "thank you" for something you didn't actually do.

3. You say, "Aw, thank you!" to a compliment before realizing...the person wasn't talking to you.

4. Someone you hate is nice to you.

5. People walk S-L-O-W-L-Y in front of you.

6. You get stuck somewhere {car trip, church service, hide-and-go-seek spot}...and have to pee.

7. You accidentally touch your Dark Mark in the shower and Voldemort shows up.

8. You can't tell if someone is being serious or not. {To laugh, or not to laugh...that is the question...}

9. It's Saturday but you forgot to turn off your alarm.

10. You get stuck talking to a friend's parents.

~Stephanie

Unfortunate Truths Girls Learn From Twilight

Thanks for following, lifeslyrics (btw, I'd recommend visiting her blog. She's lols.)!

{Btw, I didn't come up with these. I ripped them off some guy named John Scott Lewinksi. Click HERE to read his whole list.}

1. If a boy is aloof, stand-offish, ignores you or is just plain rude, it is because he is secretly in love with you — you are the point of his existence.

2. It’s okay for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful — as long as he has great abs.

3. If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the love of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you safe forever.

4. If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling you he will never see you again), it is because he loves you so much he will suffer just to keep you safe.

5. When a boy leaves you, going into shock, losing all your friends and enduring night terrors are completely acceptable occurrences — as long as you keep your grades up.

6. Because he will come back, you should hold out, waiting for them for months, even when completely acceptable and less-abusive alternative males present themselves.

7. Lying to your parents is fine. Lying to your parents while you run away to save your suicidal boyfriend is an extremely good idea that shows your strength and maturity. Also, it is what you must do.

8. Vampires — once among the great villains of literature and motion pictures — are no longer scary. In fact, they’re every bit as whiny, self-absorbed and impotent as any human being.

Oh, lols XD

~Stephanie

Butterflies and Giveaways

So, this post is going to be about...butterflies and giveaways.

The giveaway part is pretty straight-forward:

Elizabeth at Collection of Reflections makes beautiful jewelry, and for her 100th post {*cheering, fanfare!*}, she's giving away a pair of earrings! {Or $5 off and free shipping on a set.}

What do you have to do to win? It's easy.

First go HERE, to see all the beautiful earrings.

Then, go to her post HERE and comment telling her which pair is your favorite :)

Posting about the giveaway and being a follower will get you extra entries, so take that into consideration ;)

Now, for the butterfly part of the title...

Psycho Babbling Basher, a fascinating blogger and fellow hott-guy-lover, has been so kind as to award me :D {*YEEP* OHMYGOSHIGOTAWARDEDGUYS.}

The award is called the Butterfly Award.

And basically, you just give it to bloggers that you think are awesome {aw, shucks}, post something about yourself, and then pass it on to other worthy keyboarders.

I can do this.

SOMETHING ABOUT MYSELF:

I hate double standards.

And yet, I have a double standard about that.

I know, right, how hypocritical and ironic can you get?

But it's true. I expect people to treat me the same way they treat everyone else. And I expect people to treat everyone the same. I think it's unfair when people bend the rules for only certain people.

But then, it's okay if I'm nicer to some people than others. It's okay if I make exceptions for people I really like. If I bend the rules for my best friend, the world should just back off and be okay with it.

I hate double standards. And yet I have them. It's stupid and wrong and I'm desperately working on it.

And now it's time to award some fellow awesome bloggers :D

Elizabeth because...she loves Bonanza.

Shruti because...her blog header is cool.

Kyrenius because...I know him XD

Jesayka because...her blog title sounds so foreboding, but it's not--PSYCH.

Tinuke because...her "follow" button is in a different language :O

Noodlecanoodle because...I like the blog title. Even though the blog kind of confuses me. I like it.

~Stephanie

Question

So, I was wondering. On a scale of yes to no, how interested would you be in reading bits of my stories?

~Stephanie

I'm Twi-ing: Chapter One

So, hey guys.

Every once in a while I just get these urges to see if I can do something, or try something out, or see how long I can >fill in the blank<. In April I went the entire month without straightening my hair. And actually...

I haven't straightened it since.

Yeah. Not once. I straightened my hair on April 15th, to make it easier to work with for prom, but aside from that I have not straightened my hair at all since March 30th.

And I actually kinda like it. It's better for my hair, doesn't look that awful, and will be quicker for me when I'm in Europe.

So yeah, that challenge turned out well. Hopefully this one will too.

See, I'm going to read Twilight. I've already read it two or three times, but that was years ago. I loved it, but lately I've lost all respect for the novel. Is it because it really does suck and I just didn't see it before? Or is it because all I've been exposed to lately are the suck-fest movies?

I dunno. But I'm gonna find out. I am re-reading Twilight and making notes for your personal enjoyment and my enlightenment. Every Monday I'll post a couple of chapters' worth of review and snarky comments and we'll see where I end up.

Ready? Go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I first jotted down a few notes on how I remembered feeling about the book the first time I read it. That way I can see how it compares to the way I feel when I finish this time.

Overall: Realistic, well-written, exciting and with strong morals.

Bella: Likable, realistic, responsible and nice.

Edward: The epitome of hott, fierce, protective and witty.

Then I picked up the book.

pg. 6: Wow...was Bella always this much of a pill?

pg. 8: Dialogue: Realistic? Sure. Well-written? Negative.

pg. 9: I was about 13 when I read this. I think I thought 17 year olds were SUPPOSED to be this way... Now that I AM 17...um...

pg. 10: The stuff about never fitting in is actually good.

pg. 12: It's getting better. The writing is actually good at the moment.

pg. 15: SUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT AT HUMOR.

pg. 16: Let's not be a brat, Bella, it's tiring.

pg. 18: Ooh, Cullens...now it really begins...

They're so much more attractive in the book.

Although Ashley Greene is perfect as Alice.

pg. 19: I hate "blond" spelled without an "E" on the end. It looks incomplete.

pg. 22: The movie {and Robert Pattinson} did an absolutely atrocious job of Edward. He is NOT awkward, he is NOT creepy and he is NOT disgusting. And he's much more subtle and controlled than the movie gives him credit for.

pg. 26: Mike's adorable :)

pg. 7: "Low, attractive voice." Yeah, Robert Pattinson is so not the right guy for this.

pg. 28: End of chapter 1. It started out awful, ended pretty okay actually.

~Stephanie

Change of Heart

So, there's this book called "Twilight." You may have heard of it.

I used to really like it. Like, way before everyone else did. Like, when it came out. It was the first book of its kind that I had ever read, and I really liked it. It was funny and romantic and Edward was amazing. I felt like it had strong morals and told a good story.

Well...

It's been about a year and a half since I've read any of the Twilight books, and I must say any good feelings I had about them have worn off. I cannot for the life of me understand why I loved them so much, and find a lot of merit in what people are saying against them.

BUT, I've never been a person to love something that wasn't worth loving. I mean, I have high standards and am a logical person. I'm beginning to wonder if I've been listening to anti-Twilight media so much that it's influenced my thinking. I mean, I remember that the first movie was a terrible representation of the real story, and I've written several pieces supporting Twilight. Maybe I just need to read the books again.

So I think I'm going to.

I'm going to re-read the Twilight books and give you a weekly update. How am I liking them this time? Do I have any snarky comments? Are they not as bad as I feared? Are they ten times worse than I remembered? Is Bella Swan really that pathetic?

You may love Twilight, you may hate it {I'm willing to bet most of you hate it}. Probably there will be something in the posts for everyone. We'll see.

You can expect the first post on Monday. Because everyone hates Mondays anyway.

~Stephanie

Busy Day

Today is going to be a very busy Saturday. Depending on when you read this, I will either be at

- An orientation meeting to go to Europe

- A baby shower

- A prom

Some of you already know about the Europe thing, but most of you do not. Well, it's kind of cool and I happen to be

REALLY FREAKING EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

about it.

I'll try to make this quick and awesome.

Ever heard of People to People?

Well, it's an organization that gets groups of kids together to be Student Ambassadors and travel to other countries in order to broaden our horizons and gain cultural understanding. The philosophy is that true peace won't come from Government to Government, but from People to People.

Every summer for the past three years, I've gotten a letter from them inviting me to have the most amazing summer, the most fantastic adventure, the most exciting journey ever. And every year, my parents are like, "Oh how cool! No."

But last summer when I got the letter, they said YES.

They said YES!!!

But it wasn't as easy as that. I had to go to an orientation meeting, go through an interview process, and some other stuff along with hundreds of other kids who wanted this. Somehow or another, the "delegation leaders" really liked me, and I got in.

So now I'm going to Europe for 19 days this summer. Specifically to Spain, France, and Italy.

I love to travel, I love people, I love languages, and I love different cultures. This is pretty much a dream come true for me. I'm having trouble expressing how huge and exciting this is.

So anyway, if you read this post between 10am and 12:30pm, I'll be with 40 other kids my age who are about to wet their pants to get on an airplane and hit Europe.

The baby shower is pretty self-explanatory. We know these people and they're gonna have a baby and they're having a shower for it and we're going. So yeah.

If you're reading this toNIGHT, I'm at a friend's prom. I had lots of fun at the prom I went to and everything, but I'd like to go to one with some actual dance music.

And that's my Saturday for today. W00T!

~Stephanie

Childlike Wisdom

A few weeks ago, I got to "babysit" this 10-year-old kid named Noah. I wasn't excited about devoting a whole day to keeping an eye on him because I barely knew him at all. But his parents were desperate for help and I was desperate for $$, so I said yes.

Turns out Noah is one of the coolest kids I know. I'm serious. He's a babysitter's dream without being a pansy. We did all kinds of stuff including taking a bike ride, shooting baskets, and walking up the road to visit his neighbor's horses.

He was really open about what he was allowed to do {"My mom lets me ride my bike to that white mailbox."}, but was perfectly willing to accept any new rules I introduced {"But if you don't want me to go that far, you can give me a different mailbox to go to."}.

He showed me how to make this awesome smoothie, and when he fell of his bike and gouged his elbow, he remained totally chill. I think I had almost as much fun with him as he had with me.

{I'm assuming he had fun since he asked me what I was doing the next day, and if I could please be his babysitter from then on.}

But among the basket-shooting, horse-visiting and elbow-gouging, he said something oddly profound.

He was running around the living room, trying to catch a moth for his collection. He was going at the thing with tweezers because he didn't want to damage the wings too much. After a few minutes, I went over to watch/help him for a little while. It got dull after a couple of minutes though, so I turned to leave.

"It just doesn't to be caught, does it?" I said absentmindedly.

Noah looked at me with a mixture of curiosity and amusement, like that was the strangest thing for me to say. "Well, nothing wants to be caught!" he said plainly, with a bewildered chuckle.

There was startling truth in the statement. I looked at him. "You know, I never thought about that," I said. "You're so right."

Isn't that funny? "It just doesn't want to be caught" is such a simple, standard sort of answer. It's the kind of thing kids hear all the time, but I had never thought about it so plainly.

Nothing wants to be caught! There's something instinctive in all creatures that rebels against being trapped, taken, caught.

I was just saying something to have something to say, but Noah's childlike perception revealed a truth I had never considered before.

Aren't kids just wonderful?

~Stephanie

Star Wars: Retold

So, remember the time I directed a Star Wars III play when I was eleven even though I hadn't actually seen the movie? {No? 'Kay, click HERE.}

Turns out I'm not the only one who can summarize Star Wars with moderate accuracy despite not having seen it. I came across a video today of a girl summarizing the original Star Wars trilogy in 3 minutes and 43 seconds. The catch?

She's never seen a whole Star Wars movie.

Ah, what a kindred spirit.

So, if you have 3 minutes and 43 seconds to spare {which you don't, but you're going to watch this video anyway}, have fun with this. It's pretty funny XD

~Stephanie

{truth is}

**This post talks about some adult issues. If you just hesitated even slightly, please don't read this post. It's NOT that it's horribly R-rated, it's just that there are so many things I wish I didn't know, and I don't want to be the one to introduce you to this crap.**

So, the whole "truth is" thing has been going around Facebook for a while, although I'm pretty sure it's over. All good {or just kind of lame} things must come to an end. But I recently showed a friend this blog, and got to thinking about "truth is."

The things I post here are me. All the way. The way I think, the way I talk, the way I feel. Some of it is weird, a lot of it is a little crude, but it's me. Uncut, uncensored. {And honestly, it could be a lot worse. Just saying'.}

But as the friend scanned the posts, I felt on edge, like I was about to lie.

"Oh, that wasn't me posting actually, one of my friends did that one."

"I don't really think that, I just thought it was funny."

"Someone...put me up to that?"

But no.

No. No. NO. No. NO.

I am done lying. I am done hiding. At least here, at least on Pandora.

I'M NOT PERFECT, GUYS. And sometimes, I flat out suck. I'm not proud of it, I'm trying to change it, but I am not going to lie or hide it. The whole reason I started Pandora was so I could have a place to be REAL. My REAL thoughts, my REAL feelings, my REAL mind.

I will never lie to you here. I might not tell it all {last name, birthday, street name, social security number}, but I'm not going to slant things. I'm not going to twist a story to make myself look better. I'm not going to pretend like I'm not one of the worst people I know.

I've told you before that I struggled/struggle with porn. That idea is true, but it's not exactly right. I didn't feel like explaining it then. But what I really struggle with is masochism, and in the written form. Not like graphic novels, but the crap you can find online.

{I know some people are going to tell me that there's nothing wrong with that, that it's just who I am and I should embrace it and stop worrying. Well, I don't want to be that way.}

I didn't even know masochistic stories/descriptions/websites existed when I started looking for them. I was completely innocent. I just had these raw feelings of masochism that I've had for as long as I can remember. I didn't know it was a sexual thing, I just knew what I wanted and Googled it. I had no idea what I was getting into.

But, as you all know, the internet is ready and waiting to help people like that, and I got sucked into the whole thing really fast and hard. Without knowing what was going on, I didn't know that I should fight it. I mean, I figured there was something wrong with wanting to be beaten and enslaved, but I didn't...I just didn't know what was going on.

Ugh. You don't even know how hard it is for me to write this. I know it's easy to read, but writing it is like pulling out my insides. This whole thing is probably the hardest thing I've ever written >.< But no lies here. No sugarcoating. I lay it all out on the line for Pandora. For the first time in my life, I have a place to be brutally honest.

In real life, I hide that whole side of me. The Me inside is so different from the Me my friends know and love.

I'm not one of those people who's afraid no one would like her if they knew her real self. I have some really good friends that I know would never forsake me, even if they knew. That's not what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of their eyes. If they knew the darker side of me, they'd look at me differently. Every time a related subject came up, I'd feel dirty and horrible.

You know that uncomfortable feeling you get when watching a racy movie scene with your parents? That's what my whole life would feel like if everyone knew. I hate being fake, but I'd hate being real more.

That's the whole reason behind Pandora. I don't have to fake here, at all, ever. In fact, I forbid myself to be fake here. I don't allow myself to lie, twist, slant, etc. anything I post. Is it uncomfortable? Yes. Do I worry about my friends somehow finding this blog? Absolutely. But I need Pandora. As much as I needed my old blog at the time, I now need Pandora.

The truth is, I'm not perfect, and I finally get to admit it.

~Stephanie

Things I Hate

Things I Hate
1. Holes in the toe of my socks.
2. Having to repeat myself.
3. Rihanna
4. Stupid people
5. Weak fingernails {I have them.}
6. Pollen
7. Katy Perry
8. Folding laundry
9. Badly written books
10. Pornography etc.
11. Taylor Swift
12. Drugs
13. How Time Warner Cable features don't freaking work.
14. Commercials
15. Katherine Hepburn's voice
16. Spiders
17. The third "Swan Princess" movie.
18. People who pretend to be ditsy because they think it's funny/cute.
19. The Suite Life On Deck
20. Camel crickets

~Stephanie

The Dodge Delta

Thanks for following, Kyrenius and Jamie! {Sorry I can't find your blog...ergh.}

As far as I can tell, there are about three categories of car names. You have animals {Chevy Impala, Jaguar, Ford Pinto}, you have random smooth-sounding nouns {Ford Fusion, Chevy Volt, Nissan Juke} and you have numbers {Ford F150, Mazda 247}.

Then you have the Sequoia, which is a tree. So...whatever.

But there are so many untouched categories available. Why isn't there a food category?

The Ford Tomali
The Chevy Penne
The Nissan Butterbean

Or you could go with actual car part names.

The Chevy Sparkplug
The Dodge CatalyticConverter
The Ford CruiseControl
The Nissan ElusiveHandleUsedforAdjustingtheSeat

Or my personal favorite, Greek letters. That would actually be pretty sweet.

The Toyota Omega
The Ford Epsilon
The Chevy Sigma

It's funny, everything sounds dumb until it's done, you know? I mean, who would have thought to name a car after a little gazelle-thing? {Impala.}

Guess you just never know.

~Stephanie

Tricks of the Body

Thanks for following, Violet XD

7 tips and tricks you probably never knew.

1. If you throat tickles, scratch your ear.

When the nerves in the ear are stimulated, it creates a reflex in the throat that can cause a muscle spasm. The spasm relieves the tickle.

2. Cough to avoid pain.

The trick causes a sudden, temporary rise in pressure in the chest and spinal canal, inhibiting the pain-conducting structures of the spinal cord.

3. To ease a stuffy nose, alternate pressing your tongue to the roof of your mouth and poking the space between your eyebrows.

This causes the vomer bone, which runs through the nasal passages to the mouth, to rock back and forth. The motion loosens congestion; after 20 seconds, you’ll feel your sinuses start to drain.

4. To stop a stitch in your side, exhale as you step on your left foot.

If you’re like most people, when you run, you exhale as your right foot hits the ground. This puts downward pressure on your liver (which lives on your right side), which then tugs at the diaphragm and creates a side stitch. If you exhale as your left foot strikes the ground, problem solved.

5. To slow a nervous heart rate, blow on your thumb.

The vagus nerve, which governs heart rate, can be controlled through breathing.

6. Hyperventilate before going under water if you need an extra long time.

When you’re underwater, it’s not a lack of oxygen that makes you desperate for a breath; it’s the buildup of carbon dioxide, which makes your blood acidic, which signals your brain that somethin’ ain’t right. When you hyperventilate, the influx of oxygen lowers blood acidity. This tip fools your brain into thinking it has more oxygen. It’ll buy you up to 10 seconds.

7. If you work on memorization right before bed, you'll remember better in the morning.

Since most memory consolidation happens during sleep, anything you read right before bed is more likely to be encoded as long-term memory.

{I've actually noticed this myself, I just had no idea it was legit!}

~Stephanie

~Backseat~

You know that song that's really bad, but you LOVE IT?????

Oh. That's just me? >awkward<

Anyway, I fell in love with "Backseat" a couple of weeks ago and thought I'd share the PG-13 love. Hearts.

Btw the music video isn't that wholesome {then again neither is the song, but yeahh}. So yeah. And for the record, the girl is not even pretty.

The way his voice goes up at the end of each sentence gets me every time XD

"You got more of that--how you say it? Shawty swag..."

{I found lyrics that say it's actually "shy swag" but I think that's lame. So...I've officially changed them.}

~Stephanie

"The Type"

I think girls have more developed taste than guys when it comes to the opposite sex. Would you agree?

I'm going to assume you do, considering most of the people who follow this blog are of the female persuasion.

Here's how I, as a girl, see it: with guys, there is always "the type." There are things that guys ALL love about girls, like a check list, and when each requirement is met, the girl is pronounced "hott." Like for instance, whoever this is.
Every guy will think she's good-looking.

Of course, some guys may like a girl that other guys don't. That can happen. BUT. There are some girls that every single guy ever is going to agree is attractive.

That is not the case with girls. There is no "type" with us. There is no universal "hott." No matter who the guy is, there will be a girl out there who disagrees. We have our own preferences. There is not a checklist of characteristics that goes for every female on the planet.

For example, I think Thomas Dekker is one sexy man.
My best friend Cassidy does not. {How the hell--anyway.}

Conversely, Cassidy thinks Ryan Reynolds is the stuff, when I just...don't. At all.
{Although he does have nice abs.}

As a matter of fact, Cassidy and I have almost the exact opposite taste in guys. We were bored and even made a list one day of guys I like that she doesn't, and vice versa. We came up with a list of characteristics that I especially like and dislike, and ones she especially likes and dislikes.

Because nothing is private in today's warped and pathetic society, I'll share the lists with you.

Stephanie Likes:
1. Expressive eyebrows
2. Thinnish faces
3. Tall
4. Tan
5. Intense eyes

Stephanie Hates:
Round faces
Poofy lips

Cassidy's Likes:
1. Squinty eyes
2. Squarish face
3. Big lips
4. Tall
5. Dark

Cassidy's Dislikes:
Thin faces
Narrow chins

It's funny how two people {who are usually so alike} can have such different opinions on hottness.

Why is it exactly? Is it because girls are more complex? Are we more in tune to the little things, like expression and the implications of a certain look? Maybe we're just deeper. It takes more than hair and boobs to get our attention XD

{Just kidding, boys.

You know, kind of.}

What do you like/dislike about the opposite sex looks-wise?

~Stephanie

"Star Wars:" the Play

So apparently yesterday was Star Wars Day. And I missed it.

In case you weren't aware/haven't noticed the moderately subtle greatness, let me make something clear: yesterday was May 4th. May the Fourth.

As in "May the 'fourth' be with you."

Every year I've forgotten that and have to revisit the revelation. I may be pathetic, but it adds spice to life that you don't experience if you're already familiar with the play on words.

So anyway, yesterday was Star Wars Day.

Guys, Star Wars holds a special place in my heart. It was the first movie I became obsessed with, the first serious action movie I was allowed to watch, and the first play I directed.

Hm? You're curious? {Let's hope you are, because I'm telling this anyway.}

In 2005, something monumental happened for the world of Geekdom: the Star Wars saga was completed. Episode III, Revenge of the Sith came out. Along with it came a tidal wave of Darth Vader figures and Padme hairdryer-guns that had been marketed at least four times before.

I was ecstatic, of course. I was a hardcore fan {almost solely because of Hayden Christensen} and it felt good to be emotionally part of something that was sweeping the nation. In honor of my obsession and talent for taking charge {some call it being bossy. Whatever}, I decided to put on a children's Star Wars play.

At church.

You might think that wouldn't have gone over well, but my church was used to me and my random schemes/plans/clubs/petitions/unions/etc.. Everyone thought it was cool.

I held auditions, which went great except for the part where I had to go out and basically recruit 80% of the actors because no one cared. I also had to select certain scenes to do because I knew people wouldn't want to sit through a full-length deal after church. {Everyone hungry, dammit, especially if the sermon runs long.}

I ended up shaving the movie down to four scenes:

One while Anakin is good.

One when he begins to turn bad.

One when he's definitely turning bad.

And then the final scene where his Darth Vader suit is put on. {Btw Darth Vader is really Anakin Skywalker :O}

I also only needed like six people, which worked out because it was like pulling teeth to get nine-year-old boys interested in this freak show sophisticated amateur drama.

Still, as though putting on a Star Wars play with nine-year-olds at a church isn't hard enough, there were two more slight roadblocks:

I was only 11 years old myself.

I hadn't actually SEEN "Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith."

Yeah. I literally had no idea what I was doing. Looking back I wonder why the devil I even attempted this, but being clueless didn't seem to stop me. I gleaned what I could from the little boys who had seen it, and somehow patched it together.

In the eight weeks I had scheduled to rehearse, a lot could go wrong. And a lot did.

Lowlights

I had to cut a four-year-old from the cast, which resulted in mama-drama.

Padme turned out to be a class A biotch.

The Force is very difficult to replicate.

Count Duku consistently forgot to fall down and die after having his head severed.

Padme quit three times.

Padme's understudy ended up being significantly better than the original Padme.

But Padme insisted on coming back.

But then there were a lot of good things that happened.

Highlights

Our six-year-old Obi Wan was fabulous.

We got someone to do killer scar makeup for Anakin.

During the scene where Anakin chokes Padme, we lined up a row of chair for Anakin and Padme to walk on, simulating the cliff effect.

The guy who played Anakin ended up going into acting because he liked it so much.

Everyone had their lines down pat.

The four-year-old that was cut got to be my assistant, so she chilled out.

Somehow, the play opened on time. We had about 25 people show up {of course in reality it may have been fewer} and one lady actually videoed it for us {I wonder where that tape is?}. Anakin's lisp didn't show too badly, Count Duku hesitated only a moment before collapsing, and six-year-old Obi Wan was a smash hit.

All in all, it was a pretty great experience, and definitely something I'll treasure in my memory forever. Even though I think Star Wars is pretty cheesy now, I think a part of me will always love it.

I went on to do Narnia, but...yeahh, that one didn't turn out as well.

~Stephanie

Bonanza

I have recently become obsessed with the show Bonanza {you may have noticed that it's stayed on my CurrentObsessions list for a while now}. I. Freaking. Love it.

It's set in Nevada during the time of the Old West. It's about a family named Cartwright: Ben, the father; Adam, the aloof oldest; Hoss the gentle giant; and Little Joe the hothead. They have a huge ranch called the Ponderosa and have all kinds of adventures, usually involving some injustice, a mysterious traveler, or a girl.

I saw it occasionally when I was little, but I never got into it. I rediscovered it a month ago and fell in love with it. Unfortunately they were playing later seasons, after Adam, the oldest, has left. I missed him even though I didn't know what I was missing. I didn't actually remember him, but I have this thing for older brothers so I missed him anyway.

Last week, they finally switched back and started playing the early episodes. Adam is back and everyone's personalities are more their own. I loved the later Bonanzas, but now I don't think I could ever be satisfied with them.

Adam
He's the oldest. He's responsible and capable and doesn't take crap from anyone. He's proud and stubborn without being rash. He and his youngest brother, Little Joe, don't always get along because Adam thinks Joe is irresponsible.

Adam adds a whole dynamic to the show that's missing once he's gone. I didn't actually remember him much from when I was little, but I guess I had in mind for him to be understanding and protective, the heartthrob of the show.

He's not quite.

While he is brave and strong and attractive and no one can match him in a duel, he's a bit heartless. Not in a cruel way, just in an unemotional way. It actually scares me a little. He does everything out of loyalty or honor or duty, but not out of love. He has zero tolerance and it doesn't seem to matter much whether you're a man or a woman. He has no weakness and no soft spot. It's unnerving.

Hoss
Apparently his name is really "Eric." I had no idea until I saw it on Wikipedia about ten minutes ago. He's called "Hoss" because he's HUGE. He's the teddybear type. He loves animals and he has soft spots all over. He's very brave and loyal and determined though, and he doesn't shy away from fights when necessary. He's adorable.

Little Joe
He's my favorite, I think. Out of the three brothers, he's the one I think I could fall in love with. He's proud and wild and sweet too. In the later episodes he's a heck of a fighter, but in these early ones...well, he's got a lot to learn. {The fact that Adam can beat the crap out of him never seems to stop him, so maybe that's how he gets better. I don't know.}

Joe is the right amount of fierce and lovable. He doesn't scare me like Adam, and I wouldn't worry about walking all over him like Hoss. He's also quite good-looking XD

If you watch Bonanza, who's your favorite Cartwright son? If you don't...

WATCH IT :D

Sorry if you were bored out of your mind during this rant, but I've been wanting to talk about Bonanza for a while :) And it may not be the last you hear of it XD

~Stephanie

Re: Jogging

You may remember a few weeks ago I was considering Jogging. Well. True to my word, I tried it. Sort of. Once.

Now before I'm labeled as a quitter, let me explain. There are a few things in the world that truly scare me, as in heart pounding, fear coursing through my veins, etc.: being unprepared in front of people, large bugs, creepers, and dogs.

A few weeks ago at dinner, I announced that I was going jogging. After the funny looks had passed, I asked if anyone wanted to go with me. I figured the first time it might be good to have someone around to push me. Running faster is running faster, whether it's because I'm showing off or not.

My mom said she'd come {great...}, so about 8 o'clock, I put on Soffe shorts and a T-shirt and found my legit tennis shoes under a pile of Converse. My mom and I set out to brave the wonderful warm evening.

Things were fine for a few hundred yards. The weather was perfect and I was pumped. Then I saw something that made me slow down: a dog.

Of course, it was in someone's yard with one of our neighbors, so I knew I was kind of overreacting. Still, I hadn't seen it before and it looked like it was part rottweiler.

In fact, now that I Google it, it looked a HECK OF A LOT like part rottweiler.

"Momma. Look. It's a dog."

"It's in someone's yard; it's fine."

Only it didn't stay in the yard for long. It started over. My mom called to my neighbor, just in friendly conversation. I started inwardly freaking out. The dog wasn't exactly giving off killer vibes, but it looked like it SHOULD be scary. After a few friendly interchanges with my neighbor, it came out that the dog didn't belong to her. It was a strange dog.

The dog was right beside us now, snuffling around and making my heart pound in my ears. My fingers got tingly and I knew anyone could tell I was pretty scared--especially the dog.

"Mom," I breathed. "Let's go home. Please." I couldn't imagine jogging now. One quick movement and this thing would be at my throat!

"Okay," she snapped, still trying to keep the the calm pretense for my neighbor. She wrapped up the conversation and we started home, slowly. The dog trailed us, alarmingly close. It wasn't wagging its tail. I know it sounds stupid, but I was fighting back rolls of panic.

>insert backstory about how I was attacked by a dog when I was nine, blah blah blah<

As we started getting near my house, I started to think about my own dog.

"Momma, what about Licorice? This stupid dog will attack her."

"No, it won't."

"Um, yes, it will. Or Licorice will attack it when she realizes it's bothering me."

"No, it won't."

"Whatever."

We got close to my house and I saw that my dad was outside with Licorice. Good. He was holding her for some reason. That way at least she wouldn't attack when she saw this evil hellhound thing.

We got closer. "Daddy, don't let go of Licorice!" I called.

*he stands up*

*and lets go*

"What?"

-_____________- Wow, Dad.

Licorice saw the rottweiler-esque demon-mutt and walked towards us. Noooooooooo...

We all reached the middle of the driveway together. I was right beside them when the two dogs met. I'm not sure why, but I don't remember actually seeing this next part. I just heard *BARKING*GROWLING*SCUFFLING*YELPING* and my mom and dad yelling.

My dad was calling Licorice, my mom was yelling at me to go inside, and I was really hoping we'd all come out alive.

To shut my mom up, I fastwalked inside through the front door, halfway terrified that the rottweiler would follow me and eat me. I also wasn't sure if the front door was unlocked. It was. I went in.

And came right back out into the open garage.

My mom was in there, holding Licorice, who was struggling and barking like never before. From where I was standing I couldn't see my daddy or the rottweiler. I grabbed Licorice and tried to calm her down. I sat down and just hugged her body so that she had to be still or she'd hurt me. She started to chill out a tiny bit.

My mom closed the garage door, shutting us off from the evil dog and my dad. Licorice was still very upset that she couldn't get to it, especially since my dad was still out there.

I tried to calm Licorice down, holding her and rubbing her and patting her and talking to her and saying her name over and over. Then I saw her eye.

"Momma! Her eye is bleeding!"

It was. Not a lot, but there was blood around and in her little eye.

"I'm gonna kill that stupid dog!" I said. Of course, I'm a wuss, so I wouldn't, but I wanted to.

A few moments later, my dad came into the garage from the house. He was totally fine and said the dog had run off. We managed to get Licorice calmed down, and gave her some food and water. We washed off her eye and she seemed completely find after a few minutes. Her eye never had any problems. We think she popped a blood vessel.

After that, people talked about seeing the evil dog in various places around the neighborhood all week and part of the next week. I was NOT about to go jogging with that killer creature on the loose, so my getting in shape was temporarily postponed.

I haven't heard anything about the dog in about a week now, so I guess soon I'll be attempting to jog again. Still, it'll take me a ridiculously long time before I feel comfortable in my neighborhood again.

~Stephanie