Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The Boyfriend

No, I didn't get one. But that phrase irks me.

"Going to a movie with the boyfriend."
"Seeing the boyfriend today."
"Gonna chill later with the boyfriend."

The boyfriend? THE boyfriend? Oh, THAT one.


Number one, it's a glaringly obvious fail to subtly brag about your relationship. If you put "the boyfriend" in your status, you're not trying to convey the fact that you are going to see a movie with Steven. You are screaming into a virtual bullhorn: "OMGGUYSIHAVEABOYFRIENDYEAHLOL." It seems insecure and obnoxious. Everyone knows what you're doing. You come across looking desperate to prove yourself instead of confident and glad to be having fun.

Second, it's demeaning. I get pissed off when guys say demeaning things about girls, and I am going to get pissed off when girls do the same things. He has a name, use it. He is more than just "the boyfriend." He's a person. He exists apart from being "the boyfriend." If you broke up with him, he would continue to be alive even without your title for him.

Thirdly, it's hypocritical. If a guy said, "Going to the girlfriend's house," she would be all over him in a New York minute. "What, I don't have a name? Are you ashamed of me? I'm more than just your girlfriend, you know. I'm a person. God, how dare you be such an insensitive creep." {And I'd agree, just as I'm agreeing the use of "the boyfriend" is wrong.}

Fourth, it sounds air-headed and Valley Girl-ish. I can't even think the phrase without my inner voice going, "th' boyFRAN *peace sign*." Ugh.

And lastly, it's kind of grammatically incorrect. There is more than one Boyfriend in the world. Your saying THE boyfriend isn't really specific enough. It's stupid and ought to be vague, but we all know you're tooting your own relationship horn, so it's not really.

I have a question. What's wrong with "MY boyfriend?" Somehow that changes everything for me. It sounds warm instead of aloof. It sounds friendly instead of bitchy. It sounds proud instead of arrogant. It's like you WANT him to be yours, instead of him being an object that you control and drag around.

The word "my" is so much more personal. It works with everything. If I told you I was going to walk the dog, you'd get the idea that I didn't want to, that the dog kind of annoyed me, or that it was really my sister's dog or something.

If I said, "I'm going to walk my dog," it sound as though you actually LIKE the dog. He's something that you enjoy and find special and want to take care of. The word "my" changes everything.

Did I just compare boys to dogs? >_> No. I did not.

So there are my thoughts on that popular phrase. Please don't use it. It annoys the flaming piss out of me.

Just throwing that out there for the followers ;)



  1. I use it, most of my friends do to. Because how arrogant would I have to be to assume that you keep so much up on my love life that "Going to camping with Jake," means going away with a friend and "Going camping with Chris," means a weekend semi-romantic(after all it is camping) weekend away. Telling people you are in a relationship is bragging? Like calling someone your fiancée or partner? Personally I hate when my bf does not clarify who I am to him. And the sounds a lot more off hand and informative rather than "my" which to me is more like an ownership thing. Interesting perspective though. Never thought of it that way.

  2. I completely agree with you! I've caught myself using that phrase before.. and about smacked myself for it. I don't see using "my" as if I own him.. but he is my boyfriend. no some other girls.I personally use "my boyfriend" and his name a lot. I don't see it as arrogant to assume that people would know who I'm talking about when I say "I'm hanging out with Micah today". Because the people I'm talking to should at-least know me well enough to know who I'm dating.. I mean.. they are my friend.
    Just my opinion though :)

    -Alana <3

  3. I guess it depends on how ell you know who the message goes out to. On most social media not all "friends" are in regular contact, especially when you get to University. I would hardly refer to "the boyfriend" around close friends who are around me on a day to day basis.

  4. i get your point, but i don't know if i agree a hundred percent. i mean, you point out a lot of things i never thought about with that phrase, that totally makes sense, but i just don't have the same hatred for it that you do lol. rest assured though, i generally call my boyfriend by his name when i'm referring to him or going places with him. :)

  5. Very interesting post. Most married women I know say "da hubby" instead of my husband, which I think is just another way to make fun of them, something which shouldn't be allowed.
    Also, THE boyfriend.. Is he a general boyfriend, then? Like THE country.
    You have to wonder if some people listen to themselves, sometimes..

  6. This post cracked me up! "It annoys the flaming piss out of me." I have to use that one from now on :)

    I also agree with you completely. I HATE when girls talk about their boyfriends in such a bitchy, obnoxious way. Yes, I am aware of the fact you have a boyfriend. Good for you! I don't care. -_-

    LOVED this post. hilarious!


  7. Jamie: I don't think it's arrogant. I think the people who know you well enough to be real friends will know that Chris is your boyfriend, and if you have to say more than that, you're not appealing to your friends for informational purposes. {<--longest sentence ever.} It graduates to the bragging realm. But that is just my opinion, and it really comes down to how you and your romantic interest feel about it.

    Alana: Agreed, chica. My thoughts exactly.

    Jamie: True, true.

    Natalie: Yeah, my hatred for it is pretty uncommon XD I get way too into things. But it's a relief to know you call him by his name XD

    Ginger: I feel the same way about that phrase. {I almost just spelled "phrase" with an F. I must be really out of it right now.} Demeaning. Not cool. Lols, "THE boyfriend." Exactly XD He's universal?

    Gabrielle: Hahaha, go for it XD Yes, yes, yes, YES. Glad I'm not the only one! Happy to make you laugh!