Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Ellie Experience Part 1

<<<<<<< Batman is winning. Does that bother you? Vote :D

Thanks for following, Alice! {She's also going to write for the Miss Unlimited blog, which is, by the way, launching soon, guys!}

{This is a rant that got too long and had multiple profound-ish conclusions, so I had to break it in half.}

Remember the friend I told you that got engaged? To the guy she'd been dating for only two months? {And she's definitely not pregnant.} And I think getting married is a stupid thing for her to do?

Because they're only seventeen.
Because they're not finished growing up.
Because who knows if they will be the same people in five years.
Because the people they turn into might not be compatible.
Because this means Ellie will most likely not go to college.
Because they have nowhere to live.
Because Ellie is doing it under pressure.
Because Ellie can't stick to a decision to save her life, so why is marriage a good idea?

That friend?

Well, the other day, she texted me:



And she was having doubts. I gave her more or less neutral advice, not telling her not to marry Brian, just helping her to think things through. When it became obvious that she was coming to the conclusion I had already come to, I started slowly voicing my more biased opinion on what she should do.

We talked for three hours.

And she firmly decided to break off the engagement.

She knew she wasn't mature enough. She realized that there's literally ONLY SO MUCH maturity someone can have at seventeen. She realized that if she and Brian were meant for each other, they still would be in two or three years.

She was certain of her decision, and she told me to please be there for her and keep her straight, because now she had to face Brian. And her {really stupid, irrational, unhelpful} parents.

I told her to remember all the reasons she now firmly believed in. I told her I was there for her. I told her to trust the rational part of her brain, even when the irrational part reared its head. I told her to call me if she needed me.

She talked to Brian. She talked to her dad. She prayed.

And decided actually NOT to break off the engagement.

{As a general rule, I do not approve of profanity. It's distracting and unnecessary and not especially classy. If you agree with me, you might want to skip the next sentence.}


I knew this would happen. I knew it, knew it, knew it. She sees reason, sets it in stone, asks me to hold her to it because she knows it's the right thing to do, then turns right around and embraces the old way of thinking because she's a compliant flake who believes whoever happens to be talking with her at the time.

"Gods bigger than the fears, Steph," she says.

God is bigger than EVERYTHING, Ellie, that doesn't mean you should do stupid things.

"The Bible says to let your yes be yes, and your no be no. God will bless sticking to a decision."

Let's not even get too into that one, because if Ellie has ever stuck to a decision in the eight years I've been friends with her, I must have missed it. She quit flute, guitar, dance, soccer, church, a boyfriend, a school, another school, cheerleading, volleyball, another boyfriend, an engagement, and then she quit BREAKING OFF an engagement.

Don't even pretend like you're doing the "Let Your Yes Be Yes" thing.

But even if she were, it's still not a valid point. Someone could decide that theft is just the right thing for them. God is not going to reward them for making a bad choice simply because they STUCK TO IT. That's not how it works.



  1. The sucky part of life is sometimes we have to watch friends make a decision that will likely hurt them because there's nothing we can do to stop it short of kidnapping them. I'm astounded her parents don't have any issues with it. And I have nothing else to say because your entire post is right.

    By the way, of course Batman is winning :)

  2. I also agree in not using profanity on regular basis. BUT SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO.

    Wow. That's ridiculous. I'm just confused as to why her parents WANT her to get married? I can see them maybe agreeing with idea with added time and/or begging. BUT ACTUALLY PERSUADING? Why?!

  3. You are a good friend.
    She is too young to be rushing into marriage. If their love is as pure as they think, why rush?
    However, I am no one to speak. Maybe she has something she is not telling you about this engagement.
    Stick with her. Help her like you are doing, and try to make her tell you more things.
    But most importantly, I repeat: she shouldn't be getting married. She seems so unsure! Oh God! My fears for her are infinite.


  4. You're both right.

    (1) You're right, it's probably a bad decision.

    (2) She's right; God will give blessing, even with unwise decisions. Getting married too young isn't a moral crime; it's not as though God will turn his back on them. There's a part in... Corinthians, I think (maybe James?) where it talks about the fact that if you make a bad decision (once again, not immoral, just unwise), but you do so unto the Lord (which it weirdly seems like she's doing?) then God will still bless you through it.
    Think of it this way: God's a father. If one of his children stumbles, he'll be there to catch them. That's not to say that making a bad decision is an okay thing to do, just that it's not the literal end of the world.

  5. Jay: Thanks. I wish her parents were retarded, too XD

    Lex: :D I'm glad you understand, haha. Yeahh...her parents are one of a kind--luckily.

    Tywe: Exactly :-/ I suppose it's possibly that she's hiding something from me, but honestly, she's a HORRIBLE liar. I think I'd be able to figure it out. I definitely plan to stick with her...even though it's hard on my heart, haha. I hope things work out.

    Aaron: I'm glad you agree with me there.

    And that gives me a lot to think about. It actually makes me feel a lot better. I really hope you're right.