Thursday, January 19, 2012

Disney Princes

I've done a lot of hott guy posts in my time {just check the sidebar on the right}, and even a hott actress one.

But it never occurred to me to look at the cartoons until today.

At church {I know, so sacrilegious of us}, my friends Cassidy and Jesse {who is a girl, and no, I didn't misspell her name} and I were talking about Disney movies. Before long, we were contemplating the attractiveness of the princesses, and then inevitably, the princes.

There are ten "official" Disney princesses, and they each have a "prince," even though some of them aren't technically royal.

I guess when you find the right guy, he's your own personal prince. Or something.

The point is, I've put the ten Disney princes into order of overall hottness, taking into account their personalities as well as physical aesthetics. And heeeeeeeeeeere they are.

Flynn Rider {Tangled}
Flynn is the hottest prince in my opinion, hands down. You guys know I have a weakness for expressive eyebrows, and he has that covered nicely. I also dig the goatee. As a general rule, I dislike facial hair. However on the off chance that a guy CAN pull if off, I find it extremely attractive.

Flynn's personality is actually what put him over the top by a lot. He's funny, witty, sarcastic, quick-thinking, and daring. He protects Rapunzel and falls selflessly in love with her, BUT. He still maintains his personality. I hate, hate, hate, hate, HAAAAAAATE it when a guy falls in love and suddenly he's all weepy and sunshine and butterflies. Why do you think the girl fell for you in the first place? DON'T LOSE THAT.

*ahem*

So yeah. Flynn is the hottest.

Prince Philip {Sleeping Beauty}
Did you realize Prince Philip was this attractive? I didn't even remember what he looked like until Cassidy insisted that he was hott. So we looked him up. She was right. Sharp jaw, mischievous eyes, not disgusting eyebrows. All good. So I watched some clips on Youtube, and was further encouraged.

"No. Carrots." He looks hott when he says that to his horse, who dumps him in a lake XD

He's also witty, sarcastic and smart. He definitely has more personality than Sleeping Beauty, who is not even known by her given name and says about twenty words {not set to music} the entire movie.

Aladdin
Physically, I don't find Aladdin suuuper attractive. However, he's the only prince who's chest/abs you actually get to see {besides Shang}, so he doesn't have a lot of competition there. He's also tan, which I love.

Personality-wise, I love Aladdin. He's adventurous and brave. He's carefree, but clever enough not to get caught. And in the end, he sets the genie free. How nice.

Prince Adam {The Beast}
The Beast in human form, Adam, is hideous. His nose is awkward and pointy and his lips are gross and his Adam's apple is so big it looks like he swallowed a golfball.

However. If we were going on personality alone, the Beast, AKA Prince Adam, would tie with Flynn Rider. Adam is the most real prince of them all. He has flaws. The other princes are "perfect." Adam was a selfish, angry jerk in the beginning, and had to learn how to love--and he did. He became kind, but knew how to have fun. He gives Belle a library, the most amazing gift in the world.

Their love story is legit. They don't like each other, then they look deeper, then they understand each other, then they make sacrifices, then they realize they've fallen in love. It's not just "OH YOU'RE HAWT LET'S MARRY" or "DAANG YOU HAZ A PRETTY VOICE I LUV YOU" or "I'M BORED LET'S FALL IN LOVE." Belle and Prince Adam are real people and they fall in love in a real and meaningful way. That's beautiful.

Prince Charming {Cinderella}
He's actually a little girly-looking now that I pay close attention. But, his features have a neat, precise quality that I like, and I love dark hair. So there you go.

Prince Charming admittedly has the personality of a cabbage, but he does do two things right. First, he asks Cinderella to dance. Then he goes to great lengths to find her again. Good job. You get some points, bro.

Captain John Smith {Pocahontas}
John Smith has a strong jaw, BRIGHT blue eyes and a pioneer-strong body. He's extremely attractive physically. I'm not super familiar with the Pocahontas movies though, so I can't say if his personality is significantly greater than the other princes'. I do remember him not being a pushover though, which is good.

But I really remember nothing from the movie, so even THAT might be misguided.

Shang {Mulan}
I'm probably going to get cyber-yelled at for putting him this far down the list. I know, he has a great body. A really great body. But his FACE. Not a fan. And I don't really do bulk. I mean, I like a ripped guy as much as the next girl, but he's just sort of huge. I dunno.

I do like his personality though. It's hott. Tough, determined, good fighter, strong sense of justice, good relationship with his father...

Well damn. Maybe I should have put him higher up the list.

Prince Eric {The Little Mermaid}
Dark hair, bright eyes, not-too-bulky body. Nice, nice, nice. I like him.

He's this far down the list because I haven't seen the movie since I was like seven and I really don't remember him much. He did not, at least, fall in love with only a voice or only a face, thank God. Originally it was Ariel's voice that got his attention, yes. But he continued to love her personality even after her voice was taken. So there. He has some depth.

Prince Naveen {Princess and the Frog}
Oh shut up. I am not racist.

Naveen just doesn't make an impression on me. I wish I could remember enough about him to move him definitively up or down the list, but I just can't recall much of his personality. He stops being a self-absorbed 'tard, which is good, and his features are smooth, which is fine. But as an overall package...doesn't do a lot for me.

The Prince {Snow White's prince}
Ew. Ugly face, no personality whatsoever. He appears twice. One to stalk Snow White, which is creepy, and once to kiss her when he thinks she's dead. Also creepy. He's not even around when she eats the stupid poisoned apple. If you could find her to kiss her, you could find her to save her. Just saying.

~Stephanie

9 comments:

  1. it's really weird how we can find animated characters attractive but DAYYUUUUUUM they are really attractive!

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  2. If you do a Princess post, my vote is for Ariel as number one :p

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  3. I HATE The Prince. He has absolutely zero character. I agree with your order except that I would probably put Prince Phillip first. I don't know what it is about Phillip, but man, the boy does things to me :)

    And Jay, NO. Ariel is the worst. The absolute worst. She is stupid and naive and idiotic, and shallow and doesn't care about her family. The worst.

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  4. Lex: Who isn't at sixteen? :p And I was going merely for attractiveness (odd for cartoons I know.) I also grew up watching her and so I'm biased. Don't take that away from me! :P

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  5. Normal: Haha, it is! Anime guys are also incredibly hawt.

    Jay: That's my plan :D Ariel is GORGEOUS in stills and recreations, but in the actual movie I don't think she's that pretty. It's weird.

    Lex: Yess. Ugh. Yeah, Philip and Flynn are close XD Personality-wise, I agree with you XD

    Jay: I was not at sixteen :P And that's understandable. The voice of DW from the cartoon "Arthur" was actually a guy. I prefer not to believe it.

    ~Stephanie

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    1. SHE WAS A GUYYYYY? WHAT? NO! I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS.

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  6. I love how you can make me smile. :) I LOVE Prince Eric!!!!!! I had a complete crush on him when I was five, and I still love him. I totally love the Little Mermaid, we are always going around quoting it. I must admit Flynn is tied with Eric though. :) LOL

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  7. Lex: Good, me neither XD

    Elizabeth: :D I love that I can make you smile too! See, I just need to see the movie again. Another one of my friends also loves him, so I might be missing something.

    Flynn <3 :)

    ~Stephanie

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  8. I agree with you, Flynn Rider is the most attractive !
    But my number two is Shang.

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